To Choose Life
by 2kool4skool
Summary: What if Lulu had never had the abortion? Eventual Dilu.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with General Hospital.**

**A/N: Please note that this story is in no way an argument for whether or not abortion is right. I'm simply writing it as what, I would imagine goes on in someone's mind when they agonize over this decision. **

To Choose Life

Chapter 1

I watched the time click by on the oversized wall clock. I placed my hand against my still flat stomach. Did I really want to do this? Did I want to end the life growing inside of me? I didn't know the answers and I figured I never would. I wondered how much I would regret what I was about to do. Perhaps I should wait and get more information. The longer I wait, the harder it will be. I can't think of this fetus as a baby. I have to picture it for what it is, a bundle of cells, with both mine and Dillon's DNA. Why do I keep picturing a tiny, healthy baby, then? Why do I keep imagining the infant whose life I'm about to extinguish?

"Lulu Spencer," a red haired nurse, called with disinterest. I wanted to ask her advice. Have her tell me what to do. For once I wanted a stranger's advice. I wanted someone to tell me that I'm doing the right thing. I was tired of hearing that it was my decision to make. I didn't want to make this decision. I wasn't ready to make this decision. I was supposed to be deciding what courses to take at PCU, what I wanted to do with the rest of my life, not whether my child lives or dies.

"Lulu Spencer," the nurse called out again with irritation.

"I'm here," I called sadly, getting up from my seat. The other pregnant mothers stared at me. I couldn't escape their scrutiny. My hand rested against my abdomen, shielding my baby from what exactly, I didn't know.

"This way please," she said in a cold detached tone.

"Will this hurt?" I asked softly, suddenly frightened.

"You'll mostly feel pressure," she assured me gently, her voice warming up to me.

"Not me, the baby."

"How far along are you?" she asked me.

"Never mind, I don't want to know," I muttered aloud.

She nodded and her interest faded. "The doctor will be with you shortly," the nurse said absently. "Just put this on." She placed the paper gown into my hand and closed the door behind her.

I stared at my hands, suddenly picturing my child's blood being spilled across them. Could I live with my child's blood on my hands? Dillon's angry words reiterated in my mind. "You selfish bitch." He was right, I suddenly thought. Ending this life was for me. This realization caused my stomach to roll with nausea. The doctor knocked outside the door and then entered.

"Ms. Spencer, you have to put the gown on," the doctor said gently.

"I can't do this," I shouted, throwing the gown at the doctor and running past her.

As I emerged from the women's health clinic, the fresh air hit my face and I collapsed into a heap of sobs. I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up to see Georgie standing above me.

"Lulu," she said softly, empathy resonating in her voice. Why the hell was she always so empathetic? "Come on I'll take you home."

"Aren't you going to ask how it went?" I asked, as I sat down in the passenger's seat of her car.

"I didn't think it was any of my business," she said, keeping her eyes on the road.

I let what she said hang in air. I didn't feel like talking anymore. I was too tired.

"Lulu." I opened my eyes and stared at the Quartermaine mansion that loomed before me. "Do you want me to come in with you?"

I didn't answer. Instead I climbed out of the car and stumbled to the door. I pulled it open and my eyes immediately met Dillon's. The skin around his eyes was red and swollen, making it obvious that he had been crying.

I moved further into the room and noticed that Georgie was following me. I sat down on the couch and closed my eyes again, trying to contain the nausea that I felt. Dillon made his way toward me slowly.

"How do you feel?" he asked timidly.

I ignored him. I didn't want anyone to know that I was still pregnant. I was afraid to tell them and listen to them rejoice, that I was giving my life up.

"Lulu," he said softly. "Are you feeling okay?"

_No, _I wanted to scream at him. _I do not feel okay._ He reached out his hand and touched mine. I turned my head and looked at Georgie, who seemed to be equally as concerned.

"Leave me alone," I found myself uttering. "Please leave me alone." I pulled my hand from his and continued to act indifferent to everyone's concern.

"Give her some space, Dillon," I heard Georgie say from across the room.

I closed my eyes again and tried to relieve the headache that was burning in my head. Without warning, I started to cry. Not just whimper, I was sobbing. Before Dillon could grab my arm, I ran past them and upstairs to the safety of my bedroom.

As I reached my bed, I collapsed onto it and cried. I couldn't even explain why I was so upset. I hadn't killed my child, he/she was fine, still growing inside of me as if nothing ever happened.

"Lulu," Dillon called through the door. "Can I come in?"

"Leave me alone," I said mid sob. He opened the door anyway and I looked up at him in the door frame. He looked so attractive as he looked down at me. It just reminded me that he didn't love me and that made me cry harder. I rolled over so that I didn't have to look at him.

I felt the bed move under his weight as he sat down beside me. I was so humiliated for crying in front of him. I was supposed to be a Spencer. Then again my mother cracked.

His hand rested on my shoulder. "Do you want to talk about it?" I almost laughed at the idiocy of that question. I wasn't aware I'd shown any intention of wanting to talk about it.

I jerked forward so that his hand fell away from my shoulder. "Don't pity me," I spat. "You don't love me, so leave me alone."

"I'm sorry if I've hurt you. I know what I said was cruel. I had no right to call you a bitch." I pictured when he'd called me a bitch before and it stung. "I was just mad okay? I didn't mean it. You're not a bitch. You're a good person Lulu, with a big heart."

I listened to him ramble as he tried to apologize. I ignored him however and tried to sleep.

"Want to eat something?" I heard him say moments later. Dillon was sure good at one-sided conversations. Maybe continuing to hear himself talk lessened the grief of losing his child.

"Can you go away?" I muttered, closing my eyes against my pounding headache.

"Not until you talk to me."

"What do you want Dillon? You want to expunge your guilt by trying to comfort the selfish bitch who killed your baby?" My anger caused him to flinch.

"No, I want to make sure you are okay because I care about you."

"Wow, you care about me. I feel so much better. Thank you Dillon, now I can get on with my life, as the selfish bitch you know and care about."

"I'm sorry I said that to you. I honestly didn't mean it."

"Yeah you did or you wouldn't have said it. I don't want to be your charity case, Dillon. Go away."

"No," he muttered, leaning back on my bed so that his head was on my pillow.

"Why?" I grumbled.

"I'm afraid to leave you alone," he admitted.

"That is the stupidest thing you've ever said. What are you afraid I'm going to kill myself?"

"No, I'm afraid you'll hate yourself."

"Too little, too late on that one Dillon."

"Lulu please just talk to me, like you used to."

"Nothing will ever be like it used to. Now go away."

"I'm not leaving."

"I'll call Alice and have you physically removed if you like."

"Go for it," he said with a cocky grin. His attitude made me angrier.

I grabbed my pillow and screamed into it. Then I got up from the bed and made my way to the window. I stared across the property, taking in the beauty of the Quartermaine estate. I turned back to see Dillon beside me. "Did it hurt?" he asked softly.

I looked at him and rolled my eyes. "As if you care," I said before shutting myself in the bathroom.

"Lulu come on," he said banging on the door. Why hadn't I thought of this sooner? I felt so much better, now that he couldn't touch me. Each time his skin made contact with mine, I pictured the nights we spent together and then I remembered him saying he loved Georgie and I felt physically ill.

"Lulu open the door."

"No."

"Fine I'll be on the other side. When you choose to leave, you'll have to crawl over me."

I closed my eyes and laid down on the cool hard floor. Finally succumbing to my exhaustion.

XXXXX

I awoke with an extremely sore shoulder. My head hurt from resting it on the hard floor. Worst of all was the nausea. Morning sickness here I come. I crawled to the toilet and let my stomach contents fill the basin. Then I flushed it and washed my face.

I opened the door and found Dillon asleep on the floor. I did nothing to stop him from falling backwards and hitting his head. He looked up at me as I attempted to step over him. "Where are you going?" he asked, as he sat up and rubbed his head.

"To eat," I said, as if he was an idiot.

He stood up and followed me downstairs and into the kitchen. Alan was reading the morning paper and didn't respond when we entered the room. Ned however, looked me over and then Dillon. "How are you feeling?" he asked me gently.

"Fine, thank you," I muttered. If one more person asked me that question, I was going to snap.

I grabbed an apple from the table and carried it into the other room. Dillon was still set on following me. He was starting to remind me of an annoying dog. "What Dillon?" I snapped, as we entered the living room.

"There's something you're not telling me."

I exhaled loudly. "What are you talking about?"

"You're hiding something from me."

"We're paranoid this morning, aren't we?"

"No, just observant."

"What do we want me to say, that I didn't have the abortion? That I'm still pregnant with your child?"

"Well did you?"

I couldn't meet his gaze. "What do you think?"

"I don't know, that's why I'm asking."

"No, okay? I didn't have the abortion. I'm still pregnant. I'm going to ruin my life. Is that what you want?"

"What I want is for our child to live."

"Well you got your wish Quartermaine. I couldn't be that selfish bitch. Congratulations Dillon, you're going to be a father."

He hugged me tightly and then jumped up. "Thank you Lulu."

I pulled away. "Will you leave me alone now?"

"Yes, I'll leave you alone."

I dropped onto the couch and suddenly didn't feel up to eating my apple. I set it on a plate and moved toward the window.

"Is it true?" Emily exclaimed as she ran into the room.

"Is what true?" I asked with a sigh.

"That you're having a baby?"

"For now."

"Is this what you want?"

"No. Not really. In fact not at all but I didn't want to be a selfish bitch who killed my child."

"You need to do what's right for you, not Dillon."

"It's not just Dillon. I know that if I went through with it, that I would regret it for the rest of my life."

"There's always adoption?"

"Assuming Dillon would give up his parental rights. No, I don't really want Georgie raising my child," I said as I dropped back onto the couch.

Emily sat down beside me. "You want to get out for a couple of hours?"

"What do you have in mind?"

"Breakfast? Shopping? Getting away from here?"

"That sounds lovely, thank you," I said, with a smile. I wished that she was still married to my brother. "Let me just shower."

"I'll be down here when you're ready."

I nodded and then went upstairs, thankful that I could escape this house for a little while. I wished forever.

When I emerged from the shower, Dillon was waiting on my bed. "It's starting to feel like you're stalking me."

"Did you eat something?"

"No, I've decided to become anorexic for the baby's sake. Please don't start with this shit."

"Lulu, you need to eat."

"Emily and I are going out for breakfast so I can escape you and your insane family."

"I want you to know that I do care about you. Not just because you are carrying our child but because you mean a lot to me."

I sighed again. "I don't care," I admitted. "I don't want to just mean a lot to you. For once, I want someone to love me and who will now? Now that I am going to be a single mother, who is going to ever love me?"

I watched my admission register on Dillon's face. He struggled to find something to say. "I'll marry you."

"But you don't love me. I don't want you to resent me, or our child, because you gave up everything with Georgie. Besides every time I'd look at you, I would know that our marriage was based on a lie. My lies and deception that ended up in the conception of our child."

"I'm sorry," he said, as he slipped silently from the room. I fell onto the bed and sobbed after he left. I knew he really didn't love me but each time it was reinforced in his behaviour and actions, made it hurt more.

XXXXX

I came downstairs and found Emily reading a magazine. "Ready to go?" I asked, wanting to escape this house as soon as possible.

"Of course," she said with a grin.

I followed her out to the car and climbed into the passenger's seat.

"How are you feeling this morning?"

"Tired," I answered. I didn't want to tell her that I really felt heartbroken, alone and abandoned.

We reached Kelly's and went inside. To my luck, Georgie would be serving us. "What can I get you guys?" she asked cheerfully.

"Orange juice and a carrot muffin please," I said gently.

Emily gave her order and then turned her attention to me. "What do you want to do today?"

Was a crawl into a hole an option? "I don't know," I admitted.

"I need a new pair of shoes for the hospital," she said. "So how about the mall?"

"That sounds fine," I responded gently.

The bell over the door jangled and I looked to see Dillon enter the building. I hoped he wouldn't talk to me. I watched Georgie's face lighten up when she saw him. I felt like I was going to be sick. I watched Dillon sit at a vacant table and wait for Georgie to serve him. She went over to his table and started talking to him. I turned my attention to Emily hoping she would distract me from having my heart shatter once more.

Emily started talking about something that had happened at the hospital. I pretended to listen, anything to keep from seeing Dillon prove once more that he didn't love me.

I looked up a few minutes later to see Georgie bringing over our drinks. "I hear congratulations is in order," Georgies muttered angrily.

I looked to where Dillon had been sitting and realized he'd left. I wondered what he'd said to make her so mad. "Thanks," I said as she set my orange juice in front of me.

Emily waited until Georgie had walked away, then she eyed me suspiciously. "Are you and Dillon getting back together?"

"Not that I'm aware of," I said, placing my hand against my stomach.

After our breakfast Emily and I went to the mall. She talked my ear off the whole time she picked out shoes. I was thankful to listen to her talk. It kept me from having to deal with my own problems.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with General Hospital.**

To Choose Life

Chapter 2

Emily dropped me back off at the Quartermaine mansion, so that she could go to work at the hospital. When I went inside, Dillon was sitting on the couch. His eyes met mine and I knew he had been waiting for me. "What Dillon?"

"We need to talk," he said coolly.

"I don't feel like talking," I said in the same cold tone.

"We need to decide what we're doing."

"Having a baby. There we are finished talking."

"I am willing to marry you."

"We've already discussed this," I muttered, dropping onto the large armchair.

"No we haven't. I want to know what you want."

"What I want Dillon is to have a life. I want to go to school, get an education and then get a job. I want a future. I want to meet a man who actually loves me for me and not because he's on the rebound from his wife." The anger and truth in my words made us both flinch.

"I'm sorry Lulu. I'm sorry you don't get to have the life that you always dreamed about. Neither will I."

"Oh yeah Dillon, your life is going to be so much different when you start gaining weight from the pregnancy, throwing up every morning, oh and of course labour. No girl is ever going to discriminate against you because you have a child."

"I'm switching into business and taking over my spot in ELQ."

"You have got to be kidding me."

"I want to give my baby the life it deserves."

I pressed my fingers into my temple. "So you're giving up the life you've always dreamed about?"

"We're in this together Lulu."

"No we're not. Stop saying that."

"What is it that you want?" he asked getting frustrated.

"For you to have the life you always wanted. I don't want you to resent our child because you gave up your dream. Stay with Georgie, go to film school and just help me raise this child," I said before running from the room so that he wouldn't see me cry again.

As I reached my room, I pulled open the drawer by my bed and pulled out the picture of my mother. It was an old picture, the edges tattered and frayed. It was just my mother and I, when I was a baby. I hugged the image to my chest as tears spilled from my eyes. I wished I could get her advice, have her tell me that some day some man would love me for who I am and not because he got me pregnant.

I must have fallen asleep because when I opened my eyes it was dark outside. I climbed out of the bed and went downstairs. The house was dark. I assumed everyone must have been asleep for many hours now.

I made my way outside and hugged my arms around myself as the cold surrounded me like a blanket. I walked all the way to the boathouse. I don't why I went there, but I did. I opened the door and found Dillon inside. He turned to look at me. "I'm sorry," I whispered, turning to go.

"Lulu come back," he called. I don't know why I chose this moment to listen to him.

I turned back to him and met his gaze. "What are you doing out here?" I asked.

"I could ask you the same question."

"I needed some air," I said honestly.

"This place has a lot of memories," he said with a light chuckle.

I smiled at him. "That's an understatement."

"Aren't you even a little bit excited about this baby?"

"I'm too scared to be excited. How can I be a mother when I don't have one of my own? Who are my role models supposed to be? My father?"

"You don't need your parents to be a good mother Lulu. I have faith that you will be wonderful to our child."

"I'm eighteen Dillon. I'm not ready to be a mother."

"Well you have nine months."

"Well, technically seven."

He stood up and came toward me. He took his jacket off and set it around my shoulders. "You're freezing," he said with concern. I hadn't even noticed.

I wrapped his jacket around myself. "Are you sure you want this?"

"You know I do," he said sternly.

"Why aren't you scared?"

"I am terrified but I think we make a pretty good team. Look at the other stuff we have made it through. What's a child?"

"Just for that, you're doing all of the midnight feedings."

He smiled at me. "We can do this. Come on lets go inside."

I nodded and followed him towards the mansion.

When we went inside, I pulled his jacket off and handed it to him. "Do you want something to eat?" he asked timidly, probably afraid I'd start yelling at him again.

"That would be nice," I responded, as I dropped onto the couch.

"Can I ask you what made you change your mind?" he said, as he headed towards the kitchen.

"I didn't want my baby's blood on my hands," I confessed, surprised at my honesty. I stood up and followed him into the kitchen. "Can I help you at all?"

"No, I can do it," he said as he opened the fridge. "I can made peanut butter sandwiches, frozen waffles, and toast."

I smiled at his utter lack of culinary skills. "Well won't our child be well fed."

He looked up at me and grinned. "I'll learn. So what do you want?"

"I think I want waffles."

He pulled them from the freezer and placed four into the toaster. Then he came to the table, where I was sitting, and sat down. An awkward and tense silence filled the room. I missed the way we used to be so much that it hurt.

"So how is Lucky doing?" Dillon asked, trying to break the tension. Lucky's addiction to pain medication had not been a secret to anyone.

"I haven't heard anything. I hope he is okay."

The waffles popped out of the toaster before Dillon said anything in response. He placed them on a plate and brought them over. Then he grabbed syrup and margarine. "Thanks Dillon."

"No problem," he said as he poured syrup onto his waffles.

I smiled at him. "My father is gone again."

"I know," he said softly.

"Typical. I don't know what I was expecting," I said, ashamed at the tears that filled my eyes.

"He just doesn't know how to handle the situation."

"You know I'm kind of glad my mother isn't around to see how much I've screwed up my life."

"You have not," he said, trying to comfort me.

"Are you kidding? I lied and broke up a marriage, ended up pregnant and I'm only eighteen. What is there for her to be proud of?"

"People make mistakes. You're entitled to your share. Your mother would still love you and be proud of you."

"I doubt it."

"You're a good person."

"I don't know how you can say that after what I did to you."

"You're the mother of my child."

"So?"

"I was mad at you. I had trusted you and you took advantage of that trust and made me believe my wife had cheated on me. However, what does it say that I believed you over my wife?"

"What are you saying?"

"I wasn't the victim in all of this that I like to think I am. I chose to sleep with you. I got you pregnant. Regardless of the circumstances that brought us to where we are, we are having a baby together. I just don't see the point in clutching onto the past. I want to move forward."

"Are you saying you forgive me?"

"Yes."

"What about Georgie?"

"I don't know."

"Please don't break up with her for me?"

He smiled at me. "I don't know what I'm doing. Right now all I know is that I intend to give this child the best life it can have. I will never leave it behind."

I placed my hand across my abdomen, for the first time since I realized that I was pregnant, I felt calm, almost happy. "I am holding you to that."

A few moments passed and then a frightening thought passed through my mind. "What if I go crazy like my mother and leave it behind? I don't want this child to have the life I did."

"You're not going to go crazy," he said, placing his hand against my face. "You're not your mother."

"Look at my family Dillon. My mother lost it. Carly had a breakdown. It could happen to me."

"It won't. You are not them."

"I'm so scared."

"Me too, but I believe we can do it. Just trust me."

I gave him a nervous smile. "I'm trying to trust you."

The door to the kitchen opened and we both looked in the direction of the door. Tracy eyed us both suspiciously. "What are you doing up?" she asked.

"Eating," Dillon said.

"It's late you should be in bed. Especially you," she said, as she pointed at me, "you need your rest for this baby."

"I slept all afternoon. I'm not tired."

She poured herself a glass of water. "Dillon can you give us a few minutes?"

"It depends."

"On what?"

"Are you planning on being nice?"

"Yes Dillon. I've retracted the claws. I just want to talk to Lulu."

He nodded and met my gaze. He waited for me to nod before he left the room.

Once he was gone, Tracy met my gaze. "Are you okay?"

"I don't know."

"I know it was a really rough decision, but I honestly believe that you did the right thing. I know you may not feel ready to be a parent but when the time comes, you will love this child and you will do whatever you can to protect it."

"What if I can't?"

"You will be surprised. If you ever need to talk to anyone, I want you to know that I am here."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome." She got up and grabbed her glass of water and left the room. A few moments passed and Dillon returned.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, she was nice."

He smiled. "She's not all bad."

I smiled back at him. "She's right. I should be in bed."

"Night Lulu."

"Good night Dillon."


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with General Hospital.**

To Choose Life

Chapter 3

I opened my eyes and recognized the familiar feeling of nausea. I grumbled as I staggered into the bathroom and emptied my stomach contents into the toilet. I was not looking forward to the next seven months. I'd heard the horror stories: mood swings, morning sickness, bloating, swollen feet, the most unimaginable pain in the world. None of it sounded promising.

Afterward, I leaned my head against the wall and tried to relax. I felt so exhausted and I didn't know why. I'd had more sleep in the last two days than I had in years.

I heard someone knock on my bedroom door and slowly stood up to answer it. Dillon was standing on the other side with a plate of food. "I brought you breakfast."

The smell of greasy bacon sent me running back into the bathroom. Dillon followed me and pulled my hair back as I threw up some more. When I was finished he helped me stand up and got me a cold cloth to wipe my face.

I turned to see him smiling. "Something funny?" I asked in a threatening tone.

"No," he lied. I narrowed my eyes at him. He didn't dare say another word.

I followed him out of the bathroom and back into my bedroom. "Are you going to eat?"

"I don't think I can," I admitted, fearing another trip to the washroom.

"How about toast?" he asked timidly.

I nodded and he handed me one of the slices of bread from the plate. I choked it down; not wanting to starve my baby.

"Are you going to start your classes?" he asked gently.

"I am not going to school pregnant," I muttered. "What about you?"

"I'm taking some business courses and taking over my spot at ELQ."

"Why Dillon?" I asked.

"I told you. I want to give this baby the best life I can."

"That is a stupid reason to give up your dream. Do you want to resent this child in a few years?"

"I will never resent this child," he argued defensively.

"Tell me that when you start hating your life and your job," I muttered.

"I got to go. I'll check on you later," he said with a wave.

"I am not sick. I'm pregnant. You don't need to check up on me," I grumbled with frustration. I did not want to be treated like a china doll.

XXXXX

I arrived at Kelly's with a book to read. I had to escape the Quartermaine home. They were all so excited about the baby; it was making me sick.

"Can I get you anything to drink?" I pulled the book from my face and looked up at Georgie.

"When did you get here?" I asked, realizing that I had been reading for over two hours.

"Five minutes ago. Do you want anything to drink?" she asked.

"Sure. A glass of milk, please," I said before returning my gaze to my book.

A few moments passed and then Georgie slammed a glass of milk onto the table. I jumped at the sound of glass hitting wood. "Did I do something?" I asked with annoyance.

"You got your wish," she growled. "You get to have Dillon."

"I don't know what he's told you, but I don't have any intention of marrying Dillon for this child," I assured her.

"Yeah right, this is what you wanted. You get to steal Dillon away from me."

"Dillon doesn't love me. He loves you and I will not marry him for that very reason."

Georgie rolled her eyes. "If he asked, I'm sure you would jump at the chance," she spat.

"I've already turned him down three times. I refuse to marry a man who doesn't love me."

Georgie turned around and stomped away. I sighed and turned my attention back to my book.

About two minutes passed before I was interrupted again. "Lulu?"

I looked up and met Nikolas' gaze. "Yes?"

"Emily told me that you decided to have the child," he explained, sitting down at my table.

I mentally strangled Emily for informing my brother of my business when I wasn't ready to tell him. "Yeah," I muttered indifferently.

"Are you sure that is what you want?" he asked softly.

"Nope," I admitted.

"Lulu, you can't let anyone else tell you what to do. You need to do what is right for you."

"And what is that? Kill my child and live with the guilt for the rest of my life?" I snapped.

He reached his hand across the table and placed it on my shoulder. "My offer still stands. You are welcome to live with me."

I smiled at him. "I'm fine for now," I said gently, feeling guilty for snapping at my brother. He nodded.

"I am here for you any time you need me, okay?"

I nodded. "Thanks Nikolas."

He smiled at me and turned to leave. "I'll talk to you later."

I waved and tried once again to read my book. I was successful for the duration of five minutes before I was interrupted again. I felt like screaming, as Elizabeth asked me how I was feeling.

"I'm fine," I offered, hoping that she would go away.

"Are you sure?" she asked, her voice resonating with concern. People were starting to drive me insane.

"Yes," I said, nodding for emphasis.

"If you ever need to talk to anyone, I want you to know that I am here for you," she offered gently.

"Thank you," I said in return. I poured my milk into my mouth, dropped some money on the table and stood up to leave. "I have to get going," I lied, knowing that I had absolutely no where to be.

"Okay," she said with a wave. "I'll see you later."

I nodded and left the building as fast as I could. I was beginning to feel smothered by all of this attention.

"Lulu?" I looked up to see Dillon coming toward me. I wasn't too impressed to see him. He was the worst of all.

"What?"

"I just wanted to make sure you were feeling better," he said with concern.

"Yes Dillon. I'm fine. I'm pregnant, not dying."

"I know. It's just that this morning…"

"It's called morning sickness. I throw up every morning. By the afternoon, I feel much better," I grumbled with irritation.

"I just worry about this baby."

"It's fine," I muttered.

"I worry about you too."

"I'm not made of glass," I said, trying to walk past him. "Oh and another thing, why does Georgie think that we're getting together?"

He dropped his gaze. "I didn't know what to tell her when I told her that you didn't have the abortion. She asked if we were getting together and I said that I didn't know. I have a lot of decisions to make."

"You've already decided to drop film, which has been your dream for years. Please don't also break up with the girl you love. I have enough guilt to live with since I got pregnant."

"You don't have to feel guilty. I am just as responsible for your being pregnant."

"It wouldn't have happened, if I hadn't lied."

"Lulu stop blaming yourself. We chose to sleep together and you got pregnant. I don't care how it happened. It happened. I want to move on."

"Does that involve giving up everything you love?" I asked indignantly.

"I'm doing what's right for the baby."

"Punishing yourself is doing what's right for the baby? I'll explain that to our child when you run off because you never got to have the life you've always wanted."

"I won't abandon you or this child," he responded angrily. "I keep telling you that."

"I might be more inclined to believe it, if you weren't ruining your life in the process."

He glared at me. I'd obviously begun to annoy him. "Making changes in my life does not mean I am ruining it. I am trying to be prepared for this child."

"What is it you are doing to prepare? Giving up your dream? Giving up the love of your life? Make me understand Dillon because I don't."

"What about you? You've dropped out of school."

"I'm pregnant Dillon. I don't get to have the life I wanted."

"Then why should I?"

"Because you still have the chance."

"No I don't. I need to support you and this child."

"You do not need to support me," I shouted, blinded by a sudden rage. I pushed past him and started running. I needed to escape him.

XXXXX

I had finally found solitude in my mother's room. I opened my book and started reading. I looked up at her from time to time. She looked so peaceful as she sat in her chair. Sometimes I wished that I could fade away just like her. It would be so much easier then having everyone worry about you all of the time. I was so tired of dealing with people.

The door opened and a nurse entered the room. "I'm sorry to interrupt," she said softly. "It's time for her physical therapy."

I nodded and climbed off of her bed. I leaned down and whispered goodbye. Then I left the room. Suddenly I became aware of how alone I felt. I ran out of Shadybrook and took refuge on the bench in the garden. I broke down into heavy sobs as I came to term with the fact that my mother wouldn't be around to help me through this pregnancy. Neither would my father. I was alone in this world. The father of the baby was in love with someone else. Its one uncle had become addicted to drugs. The other, had a child of his own to worry about. I curled up in a ball and cried for everything I didn't have.

When I felt like I couldn't cry anymore, I got up off of the bench and started walking. I felt like leaving town. I needed to escape the suffocation of everyone's concern. Everyone's knowledge of my every move and decision. I picked up a rock off of the ground and heaved it as far as I could. I couldn't do this. I should have had the abortion and run off to live a life, free from these prying eyes.

A car slowed down and the passenger window rolled down. "Lulu?" the driver called. I recognized the voice immediately. I turned and looked at my aunt Bobby. "Honey what are you doing out here?"

"I'm going for a walk," I explained.

"Why don't you get in the car and I'll give you a ride to wherever you are going?"

"I'm fine," I assured her.

"It's getting dark."

I finally agreed, not up to arguing with anyone. "So where are you going?"

I felt like saying anywhere but Port Charles. "The Quartermaines please," I said softly. I never wanted to return there. I hated it there.

Bobby pulled into the driveway and I turned to look at her. "Thank you for the ride."

"You're welcome. Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine," I reiterated. I felt like I had been saying that all day.

She nodded. "Okay, have a nice night."

"You too," I said before climbing out of the car and heading to the door. I pulled it open.

"Lulu where were you?" Dillon asked in alarm.

I rolled my eyes. "I went for a walk."

"You've been missing for hours."

"It's not your job to keep tabs on me," I muttered. One of these times I had a feeling I was going to hit him.

"I'm going to bed," I said, starting to walk toward the stairs.

"Alice saved dinner for you."

"Fine, I'll eat and then I'm going to bed," I muttered, before disappearing into the kitchen.

Alice served me a sandwich and a glass of juice. I thanked her and started eating when Dillon appeared. He stood at the other end of the table and watched me. "Something wrong?"

"I'm sorry," he said gently.

"For what?" I asked, as I took a drink of my juice.

"Everything. I'm sorry that you feel like your life is ruined. I'm sorry that I am responsible for that. I'm sorry that you don't get to have the life that you dreamed about. I'm sorry that your father left again. I'm sorry your mother isn't around to help you. I'm just sorry Lulu. I should have been more understanding and considerate. I want to get along. I want us to be friends again. We are having a baby together."

"You are the one that told me we couldn't be friends. You are the one that said you couldn't do that to Georgie."

"Well things changed. You are pregnant. I am the father."

"Would you even be talking to me if I wasn't pregnant?"

"Of course I would," he offered.

"Bullshit," I said bitterly. "You would be in your film class. You and Georgie would be happy and I would go back to being an acquaintance who happens to live at the same address as you."

"That is not true," he said defensively.

"You said it yourself Dillon. Before you knew I was pregnant. The night of the blackout."

"I was mad at you. I didn't mean it. I do care about you."

"Well don't bother. No one else does," I said before running from the room. Tears burned my eyes, but I wouldn't let them fall.

This time Dillon didn't show up to try and talk to me. I was thankful. I couldn't handle his pity anymore. I opened my drawers and threw some clothes into a bag. I couldn't be in this house anymore.

I waited an hour and then took my bag and snuck out of the house. I knew where I could go. Somewhere that I was understood.

I knocked on the door and waited for someone to answer it. Finally I saw a light come on and then the door opened. "Lulu is everything all right?" Carly asked with concern.

"Can I stay here for the night?"

"Of course. Is everything okay at the Quartermaines?"

"Is anything ever okay at the Quartermaines?"

"What happened?"

"I just needed to escape them."

"Okay, then you can stay here as long as you like."

"Thank you," I said genuinely.

She nodded and led me to a guest room. "Do you want to talk at all?" she asked.

"No thanks. I just want to sleep."

She nodded and started to shut the door. "Have a good sleep Lulu."

"Thank you," I said again, before collapsing onto the mattress.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with General Hospital.**

To Choose Life

Chapter 4

I heard a loud bang and opened my eyes. Morgan was standing in my room with a plastic dinosaur in his hands. He hit it off of the table by the bed. My stomach rolled with nausea as my eyes focused on the room. I smiled at him, and patted his head. "What you doing?" he asked, as he followed me to the bathroom. I didn't have time to even shut the door, before I sunk by the toilet and started throwing up.

"Mommy," Morgan shouted. "Mommy come quick."

I heard Carly run up the steps. "What Morgan?" she asked.

"She's sick," he said gently.

"Oh Lulu," she said, as she sunk onto the floor beside me. She pulled my hair back. "I promise it will all be worth it." I started to cry and she pulled me against her chest. "It's okay. You'll be okay," she soothed.

I sobbed against her chest. "I'm so scared."

"I know. I'm so sorry."

I heard my cell phone start ringing in the guest room. I got up and went to answer it. "Hello."

"Where are you?"

"None of your business."

"Lulu, are you okay?"

"No, I'm not okay Dillon," I shouted into the phone. "Leave me alone." I slammed the phone closed and fell into a heap of sobs on my bed.

Carly was standing in the doorway to the room. "You can get through this."

"I just want to take everything back. I wish I hadn't lied. I wish I hadn't slept wit Dillon when he was on the rebound from Georgie. I wish they both didn't hate me, and see me as the homewrecker that I am…"

"No you're not…"

"I wish Dillon would stop treating me like his project. I miss what we used to have, so much. I love him," I sobbed.

"I know. Honey, I know. So marry him. He offered right?"

"I don't want him to marry me when he doesn't love me."

"You're too noble. He got you pregnant. Make him suffer."

"I can't do that. Georgie already despises me enough."

"Forget about Georgie. She isn't the one pregnant with Dillon's child."

"I just want to take it all back."

"It's too late to take it all back. However this is your chance," she said, as she sat down on the bed beside me.

"I'm going to be the worst mother in the world."

"No you're not. When you hold your child for the first time, it will change you."

"Why did this have to happen to me?"

"I can't answer that."

"I just wish my mom was here to help me."

"I know honey. I'm so sorry that she can't be here for you."

"Thank you for being here for me."

"Anytime Lulu. I care about you. Come on, I'll make you breakfast."

"Okay."

I followed Carly downstairs and accepted the breakfast that she had made for me. Saltines and eggs had never tasted better.

"What are your plans for the day?"

"I have to go to PCU. I need to be written out of class."

"You don't want to go to class at all? It will give you something to do."

"I don't want to attend class pregnant. It will just be a waste of my time."

"Okay. Do you need a ride?"

"You don't have to do that."

"It's okay. I have to give the boys a ride to school anyway."

"Okay, thank you."

"You're welcome."

XXXXX

I climbed out of the car at PCU and stared at the building. I had wanted to go here so bad. I had wanted to make a life and move on from Dillon's rejection.

I made my way inside and found my way to the counselor's office. The office was empty, so I sat down and waited.

"Can I help you?" a greasy haired man asked, as he came into the room.

"I need to be signed out of my classes."

"Why?" he asked, shaking his head.

"I don't want to go here."

"Why? I need a reason."

"I am not going to college. I don't want to," I spat.

He looked me over. "Not good enough. Tell me why I should sign those papers. What will you lose?"

I glared at him. "I'm pregnant. I won't have time to attend class between working and caring for my child."

He took the papers from my hand and signed them. "There you go."

"Thank you," I muttered, snatching them from his hand. Then I turned to leave.

I made my way outside and sat down on one of the benches to wait for Carly. I reopened my book and started to read. "Lulu?" I looked up to see Georgie standing there. "What are you doing here?"

"Getting signed out of my classes."

"I'm sorry that I was such a bitch to you yesterday."

"You don't have to apologize. I understand. I deserve it."

"No you don't. It's not your fault that you got pregnant."

"Who else's fault is it?"

"I just don't want to make this any harder than it already is, for you."

"I'm fine," I muttered.

"Dillon and I got back together," she revealed. Suddenly I felt all the air get pulled from my lungs. My chest felt compressed and I was overtaken by pain. I wanted to collapse and cry, but I held strong and gave her a forced smile. My mind was screaming at me to run away. I couldn't escape. My heart began to shatter into thousands of pieces. I was so happy to see Carly pull into the parking lot.

"I've got to go," I said.

"I wanted to talk to you, Lulu."

"I get it. I'll steer clear of Dillon to make you happy," I muttered, as I started to walk toward Carly's car, where I knew I would be safe.

"That's not what I mean. You're having his child. I get that. I want us to be friends."

"I've got to go," I said dismissively.

She nodded and started to walk away. I climbed into the passenger's seat and started to cry, as I came to terms with Dillon and Georgie getting back together.

"What's wrong?" Carly asked gently.

"Dillon and Georgie are back together."

"Honey, I'm so sorry. That must be hard for you. How did you find out?"

"Georgie came over to tell me while I was waiting for you on the bench."

"Was she gloating?" Carly asked.

"No, she was being nice."

"Don't you hate that?"

"Yes," I said, with a grimace.

"She's all nice to your face, but mentally you're picturing breaking hers."

"Exactly," I agreed, smiling for the first time in a while.

"Things will work out. I have faith Dillon will find his brain and realize that he loves you more than he thinks."

"Please, don't give me false hope. I've dealt with enough loss and abandonment in my life. I can handle it."

"I don't think Dillon is the type to abandon you. Besides, you wait until this child is born. You don't understand the connection that you have with someone when you have a child together."

"I think it's too little too late, for anything with Dillon."

"I'm just speaking from experience."

"Thank you," I said again.

"You don't have to keep thanking me. I just want you to be happy."

"Give me eighteen years and seven months and hopefully I will be."

"You really don't want this do you?"

"I don't trust myself to be a good mother. What if my child hates me?"

"Your child will not hate you. All children feel like they might when they get mad but they never mean it. You will be this child's mother. No matter what happens, you will always be connected."

I smiled at her. "I like that."

She smiled back at me. "It's not the worst thing in the world."

Carly took me to the metro court with her. Her and Jax entertained me, for most of the day, to take my mind off of the fact that I was pregnant.

Carly asked me to go to Kelly's and get something to eat for everyone for dinner. I acquiesced and made my way over there.

I pushed open the door and saw Dillon out of the corner of my eye. I wished I could just become invisible and avoid another one of his concerned lectures. I was so tired of dealing with him.

I stood at the counter to give my order, when I heard his voice behind me. "Lulu?"

I turned to look at him and immediately pictured him and Georgie together. I had to drop my gaze to keep from crying. "What?" I asked indifferently.

"Can we talk?"

"Don't you think we've done enough talking? I'm not going to have this baby for another seven months."

"I don't want to talk about the baby."

"What, you're going to tell me that you and Georgie are back together? Don't bother, I already know. I talked to Georgie when I dropped out of classes at PCU."

"She told you?" he asked with concern.

"It's not like its some big secret," I muttered, feeling the familiar feeling of an anxiety attack. My hands started to sweat and it became harder to pull air into my lungs.

"Look, I wanted to talk to you about it."

"What's to talk about Dillon?"

"Are you okay with it?"

"It's not up to me. Just because I'm pregnant with your child doesn't mean I have the right to tell you who you can and cannot date. I don't own you."

"I just wanted to give you one last chance to tell me whether or not you want me to marry you for the baby…"

"What?" Lucky's angry voice filled the air. _Perfect timing_, I thought. "You're still pregnant?"

"Yes," I muttered.

"Well then you guys need to get married," Lucky started.

"Excuse me?" I asked, enraged. "We don't have to do anything."

"You are pregnant. He needs to support you and stop screwing off with Georgie." I felt the need to sink into the floor and melt away. Dillon opened his mouth to defend himself but I held my hand up to silence him.

"He is in a relationship with Georgie. It wasn't like we were planning to start a family. He does not have to marry me. He can support me without marrying me."

"No," Lucky shouted. I had never been more embarrassed in all of my life as the many patrons stared at us.

"You don't own me," I shouted back at him.

"You're my little sister and I won't see this asshole go behind your back and leave you stranded with a child."

"I would never…" Dillon started but before he could finish Lucky had grabbed him and pushed him against the bar. Everything suddenly became a blur, as people ran forward and pulled Lucky off of Dillon. I ran to Dillon's side.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"I'm fine. I was just caught off guard"

"I'm so sorry," I exclaimed as I helped him off of the floor. I turned to my irate brother. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

He looked me over and then shook his head. "I want what's best for you. Nikolas and I are all you've got," he shouted.

I couldn't stop the tears from spilling down my cheeks. I just wanted the Earth to open up and swallow me whole. "Yeah well, leave me alone," I yelled at him before running from the building.

I kept running until I reached the pier, waiting for a boat to take me to Nikolas. I heard footsteps approaching toward me and turned to see Dillon a few feet away. "Please just leave me alone," I cried. I felt so suffocated by everyone's concern and pity.

"I will not abandon you," he assured me. "I want you to know that. I'm sorry that your brother upset you."

"He's going through a lot right now," I explained. "I'm fine."

The boat approached and I started to walk away. Dillon grabbed my arm. "I'm here for you Lulu. I promise; we are in this together."

I shrugged him off and waved to the driver of the boat.

XXXXX

I arrived at Wyndemere and ran inside. I found the nanny Colleen holding Spencer. "Where's Nikolas?" I asked frantically.

"I think he's upstairs," she told me softly. "Are you okay?" she asked, as she looked at the tears that flooded my face.

"I just need my brother," I said gently.

"Lulu?" Nikolas asked from behind me.

"Lucky attacked Dillon," I said as I turned to look at him.

"Colleen, can you give me a moment alone with my sister?"

"Of course," she said, as she carried my nephew from the room.

"What are you talking about?"

"He heard Dillon and I talking about keeping the baby and he started ranting about Dillon having to marry me for the baby. I told him that Dillon and I were not getting married. Dillon went to defend himself and Lucky attacked him. He's still doing drugs Nikolas."

"I know Lulu. We're trying to get him into rehab, okay?"

"I'm scared for him," I said, as I dropped onto the couch and cried for my brother.

"He'll be okay. I'm trying to deal with it."

"Nikolas," Emily's voice filled the room. "Lucky needs rehab. Oh Lulu, I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were here."

"It's okay," I said gently. I've always liked Emily.

"Lucky is out of control," she explained.

"So I've heard," he said, motioning to me.

"Are you okay?" Emily asked, as she sat down beside me.

I nodded. "Lulu, I would really like it if you stayed here with me until I deal with him," Nikolas said.

I nodded again. I would do anything to keep away from Dillon.

Nikolas turned to Emily. "Colleen suggested that I stage an intervention…"

"I think Lucky's beyond that. He needs rehab."

"He has to make the decision to go to rehab. I can't just tie him down and leave him there."

"I think Elizabeth is in danger around him," Emily exclaimed.

"He would never hurt Elizabeth," I defended.

"He wouldn't do it intentionally but he's lost it Lulu. He's not in control of his actions anymore," Nikolas explained to me.

I felt sick, as my mind flooded with images of Dillon being thrown against the bar at Kelly's. "You're right," I said sadly. My cell phone started ringing.

"Hello," I said into the receiver.

"Lulu are you okay?" Carly asked with concern.

"I'm sorry, I forgot. I had an incident at Kelly's and I ended up at Nikolas'."

"Okay, did you want to come back to my place tonight?" she asked gently.

"Do you mind if I stay with Nikolas at Wyndemere?"

"No, of course not. Call me if you need anything."

"I will. Thanks for everything Carly."

"I'll always be here if you need me."


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with General Hospital.**

**A/N: I am just loving the Dilu scenes as of late. The writers need to continue pushing them together. I can see Professor Perv taking Georgie out of the picture very soon. I'm just glad Lulu's not going to be the one that sleeps with him. Not that I know whether Georgie will or not, but I have a feeling that is where the writers are headed. **

To Choose Life

Chapter 5

A month and a half passed and I was officially four months pregnant. If you looked at me from the right angle or if my clothes were tight, you could see the bump of my baby growing inside of me. My morning sickness had mostly subsided and I could, instead, focus on not fitting any of my clothes.

Dillon and I politely avoided each another. When we did talk, our conversation was limited to the baby. Between staying with Nikolas and Carly, we didn't see much of one another. I was glad to not have to live with the Quartermaines. I think it bothered Dillon and I know it bothered Edward, being a precious Quartermaine heir.

Lucky had started rehab after an incident where he'd almost shot his wife. It was really hard to see my brother hit rock bottom. He had always been my hero growing up and for once I'd seen him break. However, with Nikolas' help I was able to understand and stay positive for Lucky's sake.

Though, the hardest thing of all is that my mother woke up. My father gave her drugs and she awoke. Although I'm extremely excited about having her back, I'm cautious. I am terrified that I will lose her again, and I know, on top of this pregnancy, I just can't handle the loss. So I've been hiding it from her. I wear baggy shirts around her and just avoid her questions about my life. I don't want to be the one that pushes her back into her catatonic state and I worry that her disappointment in me would be the catalyst.

Today, however, was the day of my first sonogram and secretly I was excited about seeing my baby for the first time. I entered Kelly's and found Dillon at one of the tables with Georgie. I cautiously approached. "Lulu, is everything all right?" Dillon asked with concern.

"I just wanted to let you know that I have a sonogram today, if you wanted to come."

"Yeah, I'll be there. What time?"

I subconsciously laid my hand across my swelling abdomen. "4:00."

"I'll meet you there," he said gently.

"Do you want to sit down?" Georgie asked.

_No, I don't want to sit and watch you flirt with Dillon_, I felt like screaming. "I have somewhere to be," I lied, needing to escape the grief I still felt at losing Dillon.

I turned and left, picking up the pace of my steps with each second. Once outside, I brushed away the tears that were beginning to fill my eyes. "Lulu," Dillon's voice whispered behind me.

I spun around to face him. "Yeah?" I asked gently, hoping he wouldn't notice that I was moments away from bursting into tears.

"What is going on?"

"What do you mean?"

"You've avoided me for over a month. You look really stressed and upset. I'm worried about you."

A month before and this would have sent me into a rage, but I'm too tired to be angry with him anymore. I just want someone to understand how I feel. "I'm fine," I lied. "I've just been worried about the baby."

"Is everything okay?" he asked, panic stricken.

"Yes. I've just had a lot on my mind and I didn't want to get in the way of you and Georgie reconciling."

"We're having a baby together. I don't want you to feel like you have to avoid me."

I gave him a small forced smile and hoped he wouldn't notice that I was using it to mask my tears. Dillon cocked his head to the side and I knew he caught me. "What's going on? Please talk to me."

"I can't," I said, as I finally broke down into tears. "I promised my father that I wouldn't say anything."

"Anything about what? Lulu what is going on?"

"It's nothing you need to worry about."

"Bullshit. You are crying Lulu. Tell me what is going on."

"You want to know? My mother woke up…"

"Lulu that is amazing. That's a miracle."

"Yeah, except, I have to tiptoe around her. I can't even tell her that I'm pregnant, in case she slips away again."

Dillon dropped his gaze and I recognized his pity. "I'm sorry Lulu, but you'll be able to tell her with time."

"My mother is going to hate me," I sobbed.

"No, she's not," Dillon offered. "Your mother could never hate you. You guys finally have a chance, after all that life has thrown at you. She will be proud of you, for owning this and taking responsibility..."

"Responsibility of what? Lying? Deception? Sleeping with a married man, after I broke up his marriage? Or how about getting pregnant with said man's child? Or how about almost killing that child because I didn't want to face what I'd done? The only thing I've done so far, is give our child a chance to live and I know, I'm going to be a horrible mother."

I had at some point during our conversation sunk to the ground and it took several minutes to realize that Dillon was holding me. "Lulu," he said firmly. "You need to relax. All of this stress is not good for the baby. You are not going to be a horrible mother. If you are unsure, your mother is back to make you sure. What happened last summer, happened. It's over and we're all living with the consequences. It doesn't define you. You needed someone to be there for you and you did it the only way you knew how. Yes, it caused problems and yes it ended in the conception of a child, but I don't hold it against you, so please let it go. It's over. I don't hate you for it. You shouldn't hate yourself for it. In 5 months, when we hold our child for the first time, we're going to be looking back thankful that it happened. Please can we move past it?"

I clutched onto him as I sobbed, finally releasing the pain I'd been holding in for way too long. I cried for my mother and the last four years that she lost. I cried for my father and all of the times he abandoned me and made me feel worthless. I cried for feeling so alone that I felt it necessary to end the marriage of my best friend. I cried for Lucky and all of the pain he endured during his addiction. I cried for Elizabeth, trying to imagine what it was like to hide her pregnancy in fear. I cried for Nikolas, imagining what it was like when his son was born and the mother had died.

Finally I calmed down and let go of my death grip on Dillon's T - shirt. "I'm sorry," I said, embarrassed at breaking down in front of him.

"It's okay to cry Lulu. I won't tell anyone."

I smiled at him. "Thank you for listening."

"I told you, I plan to be here for you," he said, as he helped me stand up.

"Please, don't tell anyone what I told you."

"Nobody has to know," he promised.

I waved and walked away. For the first time since I was told that my mother had woken up, I was calm. Maybe everything didn't have to be so bad after all.

XXXXX

I was surprised at how fast my day slid by. It was 4:00 before I knew it. I followed Dr. Lee's instructions and laid back on the table. She spread the cold gel across my swollen stomach and then pressed the wand against it. It had hurt a lot to realize Dillon hadn't come. My fears became reality, this child and I were on our own.

Suddenly the door opened. "I'm so sorry that I'm late," Dillon interrupted.

"You're just in time," Dr. Lee said.

"Hang on. I couldn't let you go through this alone, Lulu," Dillon said gently.

"Thanks for coming," I said genuinely.

"I brought someone with me," he explained. My mind instantly flashed to Georgie and I opened my mouth to scream at him, until his guest entered the room.

"Mom?"

"Lulu why didn't you tell me?" she asked softly. "Honey, I want to be here for you during this."

"I didn't want to upset you."

"This doesn't upset me. You're going to have a baby. Sure I'm shocked but I'm excited for you too. This is wonderful Lulu. I'm so proud of you," she said, as she leaned down and hugged me tightly. I couldn't contain my tears.

"Here's the head," Dr. Lee interrupted.

The three of us leaned forward and looked at the little baby that was growing inside of me. My mother squeezed my hand and I squeezed hers back. I had waited the last four years to hear her say that she was proud of me.

Dillon reached out and took my other hand. "It's our baby," he whispered. I turned my face to his and our gaze met. For a moment we just looked at one another and then he leaned in and kissed me. I responded immediately and deepened the kiss.

Suddenly he pulled away. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Me too," I responded, averting my gaze so that he wouldn't see the pain flash through my eyes.

He reached out and touched my face, pulling my gaze back to his. "I shouldn't have done that," he confessed.

"I won't tell Georgie," I whispered, and turned my attention to my mother who was looking at us with both concern and curiousity. I hoped she wouldn't have too many questions, because I had a feeling, I wouldn't be able to answer most of them.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with General Hospital.**

To Choose Life

Chapter 6

We emerged from the exam room where I'd had my sonogram and I saw Georgie standing at the nurses station, wearing her blue volunteer uniform. I watched Dillon tense when he saw her and I assumed he felt guilty about kissing me when she had only been outside of the room. He turned to look at me. "Go talk to her," I said softly.

"I wanted to talk to you first," he said gently.

My mother nodded. "I'll wait over here," she said delicately.

I turned my attention back to Dillon. "Why did you tell my Mom?" I asked sullenly.

"You deserve to have your mother with you through this."

"What if she had have freaked out?"

"Lucky knows I did it. I called him first and he took me to her room. He was with me when I told your mother that you were pregnant."

"What exactly did you tell her?" I asked nervously, afraid to hear his answer.

"That you and I were together back in the summer and you got pregnant. I revealed nothing else," he promised.

"Thank you Dillon," I said, as I breathed a heavy sigh of relief.

"Anytime Lulu."

"Can my mom and I be alone now?" I asked gently, hoping to persuade him to talk to Georgie, so I would stop feeling so guilty about the kiss.

"Of course. Can we maybe try and get together a little more often?"

"I'd like that."

"Good. I'll see you later?"

"Okay," I agreed and watched him walk towards Georgie. I turned my attention to my mother so that I wouldn't see her smile.

"You want to tell me what is going on between you and Devan?"

"Dillon?"

"That's what I meant."

"How about over lunch?" I suggested, feeling extremely hungry all of a sudden.

"Sounds good," she agreed.

XXXXX

We arrived at a small coffee shop, where I hoped no one would recognize us. Especially since I was pretty sure my mother was supposed to still be in Shady Brook. "So are you ready to tell me?" my mother prodded.

"Dillon and I got together back in the summer and I got pregnant. However, we had broken up before we knew that I was pregnant. He ended up with Georgie Jones," I said evasively, leaving out the part where I lied and destroyed their marriage. I was still too cautious to upset her. "He offered to marry me when he found out about the baby, but I didn't want to marry him when he didn't love me."

"Do you love him?"

Her question hit me hard. I hadn't faced this question since he went back to Georgie. I had avoided it, not wanting to accept the truth and have to process the pain. Tears filled my eyes but I still looked up and met her gaze. I couldn't form the words, so all I did was nod.

"Oh Honey, I'm so sorry," she said gently. "Although, I'm a firm believer that love will win out in the end."

"Well that makes one of us," I revealed. "He loves Georgie and who am I to take that away from him?"

"Are you sure he doesn't love you too? Why did you guys break up?"

I felt my heart skip a beat. I didn't know how to possibly avoid this question. Thankfully, the waitress interrupted us. "What can I get for ya?"

She took our orders and then left the table. My mother eyed me suspiciously and then opened her mouth to speak. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

I searched for an excuse so that I wouldn't have to tell her the truth. "We had different interests," I covered.

My mother nodded. "I see. So how are you feeling physically?"

"I'm okay. My morning sickness is mostly gone."

"That's good."

"I just wish I still fit all of my clothes," I admitted.

"You will again one day. How far along are you now?"

"Four months."

"It must have been pretty scary to find out that you were pregnant."

"It was but Dad, Lucky, Nikolas and Carly were all there for me."

"I'm glad to hear that. I wish I could have been there for you Lulu."

"Me too but you're here now and that is all that matters."

"And I'm not going anywhere," she said, as she reached out and touched my face. I smiled at her but that did nothing to stop the tears from spilling down my reddened cheeks. Finally after all these years, my mother was back and by my side. I had forgotten how safe I felt in her presence. I forgot the love that radiated from her. My life felt complete when my mother was in it. Having her around, gave me hope that maybe my child and I could survive after all.

After lunch my mother suggested we stop off and visit her mother, Grandma Lesley. I nodded in agreement but wondered if my father knew at all about Mom's absence at Shady Brook.

XXXXX

I walked with my mother up the front steps of Grandma Lesley's home. I watched as she leaned over the porch, probably reliving a favourite memory. She found the key and we went inside. I watched my mother take in her surroundings and smiled as she looked at pictures.

Suddenly we heard the key in the lock and the door opened. We turned at the sound and I watched Grandma Lesley register that her daughter was standing in her living room. "Laura?" she exclaimed, her groceries plummeted to the floor as she raced across the room. She wrapped my mother in her arms and sobbed. "You're back."

I watched the two women weep as they held one another. "Why didn't anyone tell me?" my grandmother asked, turning to look at me.

"Dad, just hasn't gotten around to it," I covered. "He's had a lot on his mind."

"I had a right to know," she said sullenly.

"Well you know now," my mother said gently.

"How long have you been back?"

"Only a few days. I left Shady Brook today to attend Lulu's first songram."

"You know about the pregnancy?"

"Yes I do."

I smiled at them and rested my hand against my stomach, subconsciously.

"I've seen pictures of Spencer. Lucky told me Elizabeth is expecting and now so is Lulu. It's a wonderful time to come back," my mother exclaimed cheerfully.

"And we're glad to have you back," I said, placing my hand on her shoulder. I looked to my grandmother who was watching the scene with some concern. Her eyes met mine and we nodded at one another, assuring each other that now was not the time, to elaborate on the stories we had told her.

The door to the house opened and my father stood on the other side. "Laura I was worried sick about you."

"I was with Lulu."

"Nobody told me."

"Well Lucky knew."

"Luke, how could you keep this from me?" Grandma Lesley shouted at him.

"I meant to call. I was just so worried that something would go wrong but it hasn't and she's back."

"Are you all hiding something from me?" My mother asked suddenly, her voice low.

"Not at all," my father defended. "Everything's fine. You're fine now."

My mother looked at each one of us, looking for the lies that we were trying to conceal. Finally she inhaled deeply. "I'm sorry, it's just a lot for me to take in."

"Why don't you go take a nap and rest, Angel?" my father asked soothingly.

"No, I don't want to take a nap. I want to see everyone that I haven't seen in four years," she insisted.

My father nodded. "I just don't want you to push it."

"I'm going out for a bit," she said again. "I'll be back in a few hours."

We all nodded and watched her leave. My father then turned to me. "Why didn't you call Lesley Lu?"

"I didn't know she'd escaped. Dillon brought her to my appointment."

"What appointment?"

"My sonogram," I spat.

"She knows you're pregnant?"

I nodded.

"How did she take the news?"

"I wasn't there. Lucky and Dillon told her, ask them."

"So Dillon knows she's awake?"

"Yeah, what's the big deal?"

"I haven't told Tracy."

We let his words hang in the air. The loveless marriage that he'd entered with Tracy had never really been too much of a concern. Now however, I worried about my mother finding out that my father had moved on while she was trapped in her own mind. "Maybe you should do that," I suggested.

"I've got to go. I'll contact you guys later."

I waved and turned to my grandmother. "Are you really okay?" she asked me softly.

"I'm fine," I lied. I wasn't actually fine. I was worried and I couldn't get what had happened between Dillon and myself out of my mind. "I've got to go to."

My grandmother nodded. "Lulu?"

"Yes?"

"I'm glad you're mother is around to be there for you during this pregnancy," she offered.

"Thank you." I waved at her and she waved back. I needed to get away for a while and think.

I found myself at Lucky's door. I knocked and he called out to come in. "Hey Lulu is everything okay?"

I nodded and came further into the room. "I'm scared we're going to lose Mom again."

"Why? Is everything okay?"

I nodded. "So far. She came to my appointment."

"I know. Did that go okay?"

"The baby's healthy and developing properly. It went fine. I'm just worried that if Mom finds out the truth about my contemplating abortion or my lies to Dillon, that she'll be so disappointed that she'll slip away again."

"First of all, most teen mothers consider abortion. I'm sure the thought crossed her mind. Second of all, she would not be disappointed in you. You made mistakes Lulu. We all did. I'm in rehab, but we're working to fix those mistakes and that is all that Mom would ask for. Mom isn't going to leave because of a few things that you've done. Everything is going to be okay."

I smiled at him. "I got to see my baby," I revealed, as the tears finally spilled down my cheeks.

Lucky's smile grew large and his face lit up. "How was it?"

"Really special. I can't believe I almost killed my child."

"But you didn't. That's all that matters now." He came toward me and slid his arms around my shoulders. "You're going to be a great mother Lulu. You'll see."

"I wish I could believe that."

"You will one day. If I can be a father, you can be a mother." I hugged him back tightly.

"You will make a great father. I know you will. I've seen you with Cam. What experience do I have?"

"You have Mom's years of experience to use to your advantage. She'll be there for you every step of the way."

I smiled. "I am so glad she's back."

"So am I."


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with General Hospital.**

**A/N: I find this chapter slightly weak and I apologize but I need to set up where I'm taking this story. Thanks to everyone who has been reading my story, I really appreciate it. **

To Choose Life

Chapter 7

After my visit with Lucky, I needed a distraction. I thought of no better place to go then the Metro Court. Since quitting school and staying with Carly, she had found jobs for me to do to keep me occupied; and the money wasn't bad either. I arrived and found her in the main lobby speaking to one of her employees. I waited until she was finished before getting her attention.

"Lulu what are you doing here?" she said, when she noticed me. "How was your appointment?"

"It went well and my mother showed up," I admitted.

"That's great," Carly said enthusiastically. "So what are you doing here?"

"I need a distraction…"

"From what?"

"My life," I said with a smirk.

"Okay tell me what happened. Did Dillon show up?"

I nodded. "He even brought my mom."

"That's so sweet. So what happened to upset you?"

"He kissed me," I admitted.

"Since when is that a bad thing? That is progress."

I dropped into a nearby chair. Carly followed suit. "He still loves Georgie. I know nothing can happen between us but something like this makes it harder for me to let go."

"_He_ kissed _you_?"

I nodded again.

"Then it's a good thing. I still say; its progress."

"It wasn't like that. We were caught up in the moment. We saw our baby, it was exciting and then Dillon leaned in and kissed me. He apologized afterward. Then he saw Georgie and I know he felt guilty."

"All right, I'll distract you but, are you sure you don't want to spend time with your mom?"

"She went out to visit people she hasn't seen since she got sick. I'll see her later."

Carly told me to sit by the phone and take reservations for a while. If that got too boring, she'd find something else.

After an hour had passed and very few calls had come in, Carly approached with Morgan and Michael. "Hey, we're going to dinner. Why don't you join us?"

"Where are you going?"

"The Pizza Shack."

"Well I am kind of hungry."

"Excellent," Carly said enthusiastically.

We arrived at the Pizza Shack and sat down at one of the tables. Michael told me about a project he was doing at school. I welcomed the distraction.

After about twenty minutes the door jangled above the door and both Carly and I turned in the direction. Dillon and Georgie came inside. I felt like crawling under the table to hide.

"Hey Lulu," Georgie said, as she came over. "I heard about your mother. I'm really happy for you."

"Thank you," I said with false sincerity.

"So Georgie how is PCU?" Carly asked to pull the attention from me.

Georgie started rambling about her classes. "So how are you doing?" Dillon asked me.

"I'm fine," I lied. I was not fine, especially not in his presence.

"I didn't tell Georgie about your Mom. She showed up at the hospital this evening to see Bobbie and Georgie saw her."

"I know. I trust you," I offered. "Dillon, I'm really fine."

He nodded his head. "I know. I just like to make sure. I want you to know that you can talk to me."

"I know that but you don't have to do this. You don't have to check up on me."

He nodded his head in agreement. "I like to. I want us to do this together."

"Do what together?"

"This pregnancy… Raising our child…" he said, waving his hands in circles for emphasis.

"Just knowing that you're going to help me raise this baby is enough. You don't also have to be my saviour."

"All right, I'll leave you alone. Just think about what I said."

"I will," I offered. Then he took Georgie's arm and the two of them left.

"Sorry," Carly said, as soon as they were out of earshot.

"It's not your fault. Dillon just has a way of popping up whenever I don't want to see him."

"I don't think Georgie knows about the kiss. She seems a little too friendly," Carly observed.

"It's hard to tell. She's always friendly. Even when other women would have punched me in the face."

"I still don't think Dillon told her that he kissed you."

"You kissed her?" Georgie's shrill voice echoed behind me.

Carly lifted her drink to her mouth to hide her smile. I turned around to see Dillon and Georgie behind me. "I forgot my purse," Georgie muttered, as she snatched it off the table.

"Yes, I kissed her," Dillon admitted. "I didn't mean for it to happen, but it did."

"Just like you didn't mean for her to get pregnant? You didn't mean to believe Lulu over me? You didn't mean to take off to the Markham islands, with Lulu, right before my prom? No Dillon, you always mean to and then you make excuses," she said before turning and running from the restaurant.

"Georgie it is not like that," Dillon said as he chased after her.

"Progress," Carly said once they were gone.

"Did you know they were there?" I asked, horrified.

"No, it just happened to work out that way," Carly said with a smile.

"He is going to hate me."

"It's not _our_ fault. They were the ones listening to _our_ conversation. Besides, he kissed you. If he didn't want you to talk about it, he shouldn't have done it."

I shook my head. My cell phone started ringing. My father was on the other end, demanding that all of the family meet at the Haunted Star. "We're being summoned," I said once I hung up.

"We?"

"My father wants everyone to meet at the Haunted Star. He probably has something to say about my mother."

"All right. Come on boys, we have to leave."

"I haven't finished my pizza," Michael insisted.

"Bring it with you."

We emerged from the restaurant and I could hear Georgie and Dillon's voices around the corner. "You know what hurts the most Dillon? Instead of just telling me what happened, you hid it from me…"

"I hid it because I knew you'd misinterpret it. We were excited about seeing the baby and yes, I kissed her. It didn't mean anything."

"Tell that to Lulu."

"What has Lulu done? She has done nothing but stayed out of our way because she didn't want to screw anything up between us. She could have had me marry her, but she didn't. She didn't want me to give up everything with you. So don't blame Lulu for anything," Dillon defended.

I climbed into the car and therefore missed Georgie's response. I knew I shouldn't have listened but they weren't exactly being quiet.

We arrived at the Haunted Star and went inside. My father had gathered Lucky, Elizabeth, Nikolas, Emily, Bobby, Lesley and Robert together. "We need to discuss Laura's condition," my father said with concern.

"Is something wrong?" Lucky demanded.

"I just don't think we should tell her that she killed Rick Webber. That is what sent her into the catatonic state in the first place. As far as she knows, she was in an accident and has been hospitalized for the last four years. The last thing she remembers is getting ready for the wedding. I would like to keep it that way."

"Are you hiding something?" Nikolas asked with disdain.

"No. I'm not hiding anything. I just want to make sure everything goes okay with Laura's recovery. I want us all to be on the same page."

"Is that so?" Tracy asked miserably, as she came up behind him.

I watched the blood drain from my fathers face. I was concerned that he would faint.

"Now Spankybuns…" he said, as he turned in her direction.

"Don't Spankybuns me… When were you planning on telling me that your ex wife was awake?" she shouted with rage.

"Can I have a moment alone with my wife?" my father asked gently. Everyone nodded and turned to leave. "Remember what I said."

"Lulu where are you staying tonight?" Nikolas asked as we emerged outside.

"I'll come home with you," I offered.

"Okay, sounds good," he said, before turning his attention to Lucky. "Do you want a ride back to Shady Brook?"

"Umm, just give me a second," he said, before approaching Elizabeth. Nikolas and I watched him make an attempt to talk to her. She brushed him off and he returned a moment later looking sullen.

We approached Nikolas' car. "You can have the front Lulu, but only because you're pregnant," Lucky said, as he climbed into the back seat.

"How did your appointment go?" Nikolas asked as he climbed into the driver's seat.

"Good, Dillon brought Mom."

"Mom knows you're pregnant?" Nikolas asked with concern.

"Dillon and I thought it would be a good idea to tell her," Lucky defended.

"What did she say?" Nikolas asked with interest.

"She was just surprised," Lucky said gently.

"What did she really say?" I demanded. "Was she upset?"

"No, she was just surprised. I brought Dillon in and she asked who he was. He introduced himself as Dillon Quartermaine. She asked about Lila, he explained that she had passed away. Mom said sorry and then asked why Dillon was there. I told her to listen to what he had to say. Mom looked at him and told him to go ahead. He explained that you and him were in a relationship back in the summer. He then explained that while together you conceived a child and today was the day of your first sonogram. He said it would mean the world to you if she could come. She looked surprised but quickly gained her composure and agreed to come see you. That was it, really," Lucky promised.

"I can't believe she is finally back," Nikolas exclaimed.

"I can't wait for her to hold Elizabeth's and my child for the first time," Lucky said.

"I plan to bring Spencer to see her tomorrow," Nikolas said with excitement.

"She's going to love him," I cooed, picturing her hold my nephew for the first time.

Nikolas pulled into the Shady Brook parking lot. "See you tomorrow?" Nikolas asked.

"Yeah, I want to see Mom tomorrow. I'll talk to you guys later," he said with a wave. I waved back and watched my brother's retreating form.

"Do you think Elizabeth will ever take him back?" I asked gently.

"I'd like to think so. You didn't see them growing up Lulu. They were meant to be. I just can't imagine that his addiction to pills will end it."

"Some relationships end for a lot less."

"I know but I'd like to think that Elizabeth will find a way to forgive him."

"Especially since they are expecting a baby…" I muttered.

"So how was seeing the baby?" Nikolas asked.

I bit my lip, as I pictured the ultrasound image of my baby. "Good," I whispered. "It made everything so… real," I admitted.

"I can't wait to see my niece or nephew for the first time. Did you order me a picture?"

"Yes. Mom insisted upon it."

Nikolas smiled and I loved how it lit up his face. Mom's recovery had brought us all a sense of happiness that made our lives seem so much easier to endure and I hoped, with every fiber of my being, that she would stay with us and finally help us pull our lives back together.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with General Hospital.**

To Choose Life

Chapter 8

I arrived at Grandma Lesley's, in search of my mother. I opened the door and witnessed for the first time in four years, my mother and father kissing one another. My heart literally dropped in my chest. This is what I'd waited for.

"Lulu," my mother said with a smile.

"Hi…" I said awkwardly. "Am I interrupting something?"

"No honey, not at all. Your father and I are getting remarried."

I heard the words but for some reason I needed a minute before I responded. I regained my composure and smiled. "Really?"

"Yes," my father said excitedly. "Isn't that wonderful?"

"Of course it is," I said, trying to be as excited as him. "When?"

"The 16th…"

"The 16th of November?"

"Yes, it's our 25th wedding anniversary…" my mother said dreamily.

"That's wonderful," I said, coming further into the room. I looked at my father and wondered what the hell he was doing about Tracy.

"Will you be my maid of honour?" my mother asked, her voice laced with joy.

"Yes, of course I will be," I said, smiling at the thought. My mother pulled me into an embrace and I felt myself transfer back to four years before when my mother was excitedly getting ready to remarry my father. I remembered never expecting my mother to leave me and feeling content with the life I was a part of. "The 16th is kind of soon. Are you sure you can pull it off?"

"I believe we can," my mother said honestly. "With your help I hope?"

"I'm at your service. I'm sure you can enlist the help of Lucky and Nikolas as well."

"Do you mind letting them know Lulu?"

"I'll go do that now," I said.

I turned to leave and heard my father following me. I turned to him as the front door closed behind us. "What about Tracy? Did you forget about her, your wife?"

"I'll deal with Tracy, just don't tell your mother about her. She doesn't need to know."

"Well maybe you ought to tell everyone in town, because it is bound to slip out."

"Tracy and I will be getting a divorce."

"Tracy Quartermaine is not a force to be trifled with. Are you sure you know what you're getting into?"

"I tricked Tracy into marrying me, didn't I? I can handle her Lulu. Don't worry about it."

I shook my head in disbelief. "I've got to go," I said gently.

"Are you sure you're all right?"

"I'm fine. I'm just really tired."

My father looked at me, his eyes scanning mine for the truth. "You don't look fine."

"I'm fine," I promised.

"Lulu, I know this has been really hard for you."

"I've got to go," I said, trying to escape him.

My father nodded and I moved away from him. He would never understand my fears. Then I realized maybe he was the only one that could.

"What if I become her?"

My question left my father off guard. "Become who?"

"Mom… What if I lose my mind and go crazy and leave my baby behind?"

"You're not going to go crazy Lulu. It isn't genetic. Your mother faced a lot in her life and finally reached a breaking point. People can only survive so many hits before they break. Anyone can break down, but you are a Spencer and you're stronger than most people. You're not going to break down."

"Carly did."

"Carly's children were kidnapped. That's a lot for anyone to face. I don't think you will ever have to face what either your mother or Carly have faced in their life time."

"I'm scared…" I admitted.

My father pulled me into an embrace. "I know Gumdrop, but I believe in you. You can do this, all of it. You can be strong and you can give this child as much love as it deserves."

"I've got to go," I said again.

"You're going to be okay Lulu. You're not your mother."

I smiled at him. "Thanks Dad."

He smiled back and watched me walk away. I opened my cell phone and dialed Nikolas' cell. He picked up on the second ring.

"Hello…"

"Hey Nik, can you meet me at Shady Brook?"

"Yeah, is everything okay?"

"I have an announcement."

"I'll meet you there."

XXXXX

I arrived in the garden of the asylum and sat down on the bench. "Lulu?" Lucky's voice said gently. "What's up?"

"Wait for Nikolas," I said with a smile.

"It's not bad news?" he asked with concern.

"No, not at all…" I said gently. I stood up and let my brother wrap his arms around me. He looked different this time. His complexion had more colour again and his face wasn't drenched in sweat like before. I realized his withdrawl symptoms were waning.

"Hey what's going on?" Nikolas said as he approached us.

"Mom and Dad are getting remarried on the 16th," I said delicately.

"What?" Nikolas exclaimed. "What about Tracy?"

"Dad said he'd take care of her."

"Are you sure?" Lucky asked, with disbelief resonating in his tone.

"Positive. Mom asked me to tell the two of you because she wants help preparing," I offered.

"Does it seem like Luke is hiding something?" Nikolas asked.

"I don't know. Isn't Dad always hiding something?" I responded.

"I'm sure he has an agenda but he loves Mom and he wouldn't hurt her…" Lucky agreed.

"All right, well if you guys trust him I guess I don't really have a reason not to," Nikolas said with a sigh. "Where is Mom?"

"Grandma Lesley's…"

"Well why don't we head over there and see if we can help?" Nikolas said to me.

"Yeah, okay that sounds good," I agreed.

"Lulu, can I talk to Nikolas alone for a minute?" Lucky asked.

I nodded and walked a few feet away.

Nikolas met up with me a few minutes later and we climbed in the car. "Is everything okay with Lucky?" I asked with concern.

"Yeah, he's fine. He's just worried about Elizabeth."

"Well she should be worried about him."

"She is. They both worry about each other, but they went through a lot this summer."

"She still hasn't visited him?"

"No," Nikolas said in response.

"It might help his recovery."

"Maybe, but he needs to recover for himself, not for a possible relationship with Elizabeth."

"I know. I just worry about him."

"He's doing better."

"He looked better."

"I'm sure his withdrawl symptoms are getting better."

I nodded and gave Nikolas a small smile. "How are you feeling? You've had a lot thrown at you lately."

"I'm good. I'm just really happy to have Mom back, you know?" I said in response.

"Of course. I know you've been dreaming of this. However, you have a lot more going on than that."

"The baby is fine. Nothing to complain about."

"I'm glad to hear it."

He stopped the car and we climbed out. I followed my brother up the front steps and inside the door. "Hello," Nikolas called.

"Hello…" my grandmother called back.

"Hey, where is Mom?" I asked, as Grandma Lesley came in the room.

"She was getting ready to go out. We were going to get her dress. I'll get her…" she offered.

"That's okay. I'll go," I offered, before making my way up the steps. I encountered my mother's room and knocked on the door. When no one answered, I pushed the door open and realized my mother was not there.

I went back downstairs, confused. "She's not up there."

"Are you sure? She said she was going to get ready."

"She isn't up there."

"Laura," Grandma Lesley called, as she made her way around the house.

"Mom…" Nikolas shouted.

When she didn't answer, I began to panic. "Where would she have gone?" I asked; fear laced in my tone.

"I don't know. We were supposed to be leaving in a few minutes. She would have mentioned something to me," Grandma Lesley said nervously.

"Was she acting strange, at all?" Nikolas asked frantically.

"Well now that you mention it. She seemed a little detached. I thought it was just the effects of everything going on around her."

"What if she remembered?" Nikolas exclaimed.

"Maybe we should call Dad," I said. I didn't know what else to say. I didn't feel capable of dealing with my mother.

"You call him. I'm going over to the Scorpio attic. I'll see if she is there."

"Maybe Luke should go," Grandma Lesley said softly. "We won't know what condition she is in."

I opened my cell phone and called my father. "Yeah…" he said tersely on the other end.

"Dad, Mom's disappeared. We are afraid that she remembered."

"Remembered the murder?"

"Yeah, Nikolas was going to go to the Scorpio attic."

"I'll go. Don't worry, I'll find your mother."

I hung up the phone and collapsed onto the sofa. I suddenly felt like bursting into tears but I wanted to hold strong. I didn't want my brother or grandmother worrying about me, when they were already worried about Mom.

Nikolas sat down beside me and wrapped his arm around me. "Luke will find her. It's going to be okay," he offered.

I leaned into him and tried to draw comfort from his strength but I felt the burning sensation in the corners of my eyes. I couldn't do this, not here, not now. I pulled away and ran. I didn't stop until I reached the one place that had changed my entire life. I ripped open the door of the boathouse and much to my chagrin, found Dillon and Georgie making out.

"I'm sorry," I exclaimed, I started to back up as the tears cascaded down my face.

"Lulu," Dillon said gently.

"I'm sorry. I'm going…" I kept backing up and then turned to run, but Dillon's hand grabbed my arm. He spun me around so that I had to face him.

"What's going on?"

"My mother…" I choked out.

"What's wrong with your mother?" he asked with concern.

"I… I… I think that she remembered…" I sobbed.

"Remembered what Lulu?" Dillon asked, as he led me into the boathouse and sat me down on the bench. "What's going on?"

"Killing her stepfather."

I watched Dillon's face change as he realized what I was talking about. He kneeled down in front of me. "Do you think she's going to leave again?"

I nodded and felt him pull me against him. I buried my face in his chest, as I sobbed. "I can't lose her Dillon."

"She might be okay Lulu… This might not send her back."

"What if it does Dillon? What if she goes right back to Shady Brook?"

"You don't know anything yet," Dillon offered weakly. "You need to calm down for the baby." I let his solid body comfort me until I finally stopped crying. I pulled away and realized for the first time that Georgie had left.

"I'm sorry," I said softly. "I don't mean to come between you and Georgie."

"You're not. She just left to give us a moment alone. She knows I can't turn my back on you right now."

"I can't do this Dillon. I can't keep letting you comfort me. I have to do this on my own."

"No you don't," he argued. "You don't always have to be on your own. I care about you and I care about our child."

"You also care about Georgie and I don't think she's going to want me to always come in between the two of you. Some day the two of you will have children and then this child and I will be on our own. We both know its true Dillon."

"It's not. I won't abandon you or this child, ever. We will always stay connected, regardless of how many children Georgie and I have in the future. I know you're used to being left behind Lulu, but I'm not the type of person that can do that."

"I don't know how to believe that," I said sullenly.

Dillon reached over and pulled my chin to face him. His eyes met mine and I saw the hurt my words had caused. "I promise you, I will never leave you. I swear on everything that matters to me, this child and you will always be important to me. No matter what. Please trust me."

I stared into his eyes and remembered why I loved him so much. As much as it hurt that I could not have him, at least I could believe that I was safe in giving him a child. "All right, I trust you."

He smiled and I smiled in return. "Want to see a movie? I found a new one that I think you'll appreciate."

"Go back to Georgie. I'll be fine."

"Come on. It will be fun. You need to do something fun."

My cell phone started ringing. "Yeah…"

Nikolas was on the other end. He said that Dad had found Mom and wanted everyone to meet at Grandma Lesley's. They had something to discuss.

I closed my phone and my gaze met Dillon's. "I have to go. My father found my mother and now we have something to discuss," I said, suddenly feeling absolutely hollow. My whole body shivered, as I imagined going back to life without my mother.

"I'll give you a ride," Dillon said gently.

"You don't have…"

"Lulu, I'm giving you a ride."

I smiled and didn't argue any further. Dillon opened the door and we met Georgie sitting by the water. "Hey I have to give Lulu a ride to Lesley's. Do you want to come?"

"No go ahead," she said delicately.

"Georgie can I talk to you?" I asked suddenly. Her gaze met mine with confusion before she nodded and followed me away from Dillon.

"I'm sorry…" I started. "I am not trying to take Dillon from you. I honestly didn't know you guys were going to be here. I'm sorry that he kissed me the other day. I didn't mean for that to happen. I honestly just want to get through this pregnancy and…"

"Lulu, I understand. You have a lot going on and I know that you and Dillon are close. I accept that. I know that I sometimes come across as being a bitch but…"

"No, you don't. You have been nothing but supportive through this entire ordeal. I can't tell you how much I appreciate that…"

"Lulu, you have a lot to deal with. There is no reason for me to make it any worse."

"I don't want you to feel excluded though."

"I don't." Georgie gave me a forced smile.

"I've got to get back. I would like it if you came for the ride."

"Lulu, you don't have to include me."

"I want to," I offered. She nodded and followed me up to Dillon's car.

"Everything okay?" Dillon asked, as he climbed into the driver's seat.

"Yeah, everything is fine," Georgie said, as she climbed into the back.

"You can sit in the front," I offered.

"I'm not the one pregnant," she said. I climbed into the front seat and tried not to laugh at how awkward Dillon seemed to feel.

"You know I heard that PCU is getting a new computer lab," Dillon said, to end the hollow silence that had filled the car.

"Really, a new computer lab. That's nice," I said with a smirk.

"So what have you been up to with your time?" Dillon asked.

"I've actually been doing work for Carly."

"Oh really, doing what?" Georgie asked from the back seat.

"Desk clerk duty… She has me help her decorate for parties… Whatever needs to be done."

"That's cool."

I thanked God when Dillon pulled up in front of my Grandmothers. "Thanks for the ride," I said awkwardly.

Dillon climbed out of the car and followed me towards the house. "Lulu, if this doesn't turn out the way you want it to and you need someone to talk to. I'm here okay?"

I smiled and nodded. "Thanks Dillon," I said, as I reached for the door handle. Lucky was sitting on the couch with Nikolas.

"So what's going on?" I asked.

"I don't know, Mom and Dad haven't arrived yet," Lucky said gently.

Suddenly the door opened behind me and my mother and father came inside. "I remembered everything…" my mother exclaimed proudly. "and I'm fine. I spoke with Dr. Winters and she thinks my recovery is very promising."

"That's wonderful," Nikolas said joyfully.

"So you're going to be okay?" I asked, suddenly overcome with emotion.

"I'm fine," my mother said gently, wrapping her arms around me as I broke down in tears. Everything was going to be okay.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with General Hospital.**

**A/N: Dilu were so cute the other day in Kelly's, before Spinelli interrupted them. That smile on Lulu's face made me smile. I loved it. I hope they continue with this storyline. Though, it will make my writing angst a little more difficult, but who cares! I have been wanting this since I started watching the show. I got so fed up I had to write about it! Not that I'll stop. Anyway enjoy…**

To Choose Life

Chapter 9

My mother explained how she remembered what had occurred in the attic and that her mind was not shutting down. I had never felt better.

"Mom, I'm sorry about killing Rick…" she said gently.

"It's okay Laura. I forgive you and I know he would forgive you too. You've suffered enough."

My mother came further into the room and sat down on the arm chair. "Now, that we know I'm okay, I want you to share something with me. I know you've been holding information back, but don't. Let me be a part of your lives."

Nikolas nodded. "Okay, I'll go first. I was married to Emily Quartermaine. She went through a rough period and I felt really detached from her. I ended up cheating on her with Courtney. I loved Courtney but I never stopped loving Emily. Emily and I are divorced now and as horrible as it sounds, I don't regret anything because I got my son out of it."

"Oh honey… We all make mistakes," my mother said gently, as her hand pressed against his face.

"I'm in rehab…" Lucky started. "I got shot in the line of duty and I was prescribed pain medication. I became addicted to hydrocodone. Maxie Jones started supplying me with pills when my prescription ran out. There was a price to pay. I had to sleep with her and I got her pregnant. Elizabeth found out and we are separated. However, I am hoping she can forgive me before it leads to divorce." His voice was hollow as he explained the things that he had done.

"Oh sweetheart," Mom said, as she clutched both sides of his face. "I know you can do this. You can get through this Lucky. You'll survive this and hopefully some day Elizabeth will take you back."

I felt my palms sweat and heartbeat race, as I realized she was expecting me to be next. Suddenly a thought popped into my head and I thanked God that it would give me an excuse not to have to say anything.

"Carly and Jax are planning to get married on the 16th…" I interrupted.

"Are you sure?" my father asked.

I nodded and moved toward the phone. I dialed Carly's number and asked her to come over. "I'm sure Carly will understand," I assured my mother.

My mother didn't ask me to share anything. I think she wanted to, but sensed that I was too fragile to deal with the sordid details of my past right now.

My Grandmother started to talk about something, but I had tuned her out. I went to the window and stared out at the bleak afternoon. "Are you okay Gumdrop?" my father asked gently.

"I don't want Mom to think less of me. She would if she knew about why I was really pregnant with Dillon's child…" I whispered.

"Your mother loves you so much that a few lies that you told in the summer are not enough to make her think less of you."

"Nikolas and Lucky had excuses for doing what they did… What was mine?"

"It doesn't matter now… You made a mistake and you've righted it. You paid your penance, so let it go. I don't think young Spielberg holds it against you."

I smiled at my father. I always found his name for Dillon so humourous. Before I could say anything else there was a knock at the front door.

"Come in," my mother called.

Carly opened the door and Jax followed her inside. "Lulu what's going on?" she asked me.

I clasped my hands together and was about to open my mouth. "We are having a small conflict with our wedding date…" my father started. "The 16th is mine and Laura's 25th wedding anniversary and we were hoping to remarry on that day. However…"

"No problem, we'll change our date…" Carly interrupted.

Jax opened his mouth to speak but Carly silenced him. "In fact, you can have all of our preparations…"

"We couldn't ask that of you…" my mother started.

"Consider it our gift…" Carly offered.

"Thank you," my mother exclaimed. "That is so generous of you."

"Your welcome, I'm glad you're back," Carly said gently.

"Me too," my mother said, as a smile spread across her pale face.

"We should get going," Carly said. "I have to pick up the boys at Sonny's."

"Thanks Carly," I said, as I followed her out onto the porch.

"You're welcome. Are you all right? You look pale."

"I'm fine. Everything is fine…" I lied. I wanted to be fine, but I was scared of what my mother would think of me if she knew what I had done to Dillon. I waved and went back inside.

"You know Nikolas I'd really like to meet that son of yours?" my mother said gently.

"I'll go get him," Nikolas offered. My mother smiled.

"So you and Carly seem to be getting along," my mother pointed out to my father.

"Yeah, umm… I think she did that for you not me."

My mother shrugged. "It was still nice of her. However, you need to find us a place to get married."

"I'm going to do that right now. I have the perfect place."

My mother kissed him goodbye. "Is there anything you need me to do?" Lucky asked.

"Not at the moment."

"I have a group meeting I have to attend, so I have to return to Shady Brook."

"Okay," my mother said with a lucid nod.

It left only my mother, myself and Grandma Lesley alone in the living room. "So, dress shopping. How about tomorrow? Will that work for you Lulu?"

"Yes."

"I want to invite Bobbie too," she said.

"That sounds nice," Grandma Lesley said softly.

"Lulu honey, are you feeling all right? You look pale."

"I'm fine. I think I'm just a little tired."

"Do you want to take a nap?" she asked with concern.

"I'll be all right," I responded. I just needed to relax.

My mother stood up and went to the phone. I watched her stand over it and then watched as she turned to me. "I don't remember Bobbie's number."

I told it to her and she dialed it. I watched her make her call and listened to her soft voice as she spoke with my aunt.

XXXXX

Nikolas arrived with Spencer in his arms. I watched my mother's face light up as soon as she saw him. Tears flooded her eyes as Nikolas placed Spencer in her arms. I couldn't help but smile. "Hello Spencer… I'm your Grandmother. You are just a beautiful little boy, aren't you?" she cooed and was rewarded with one of Spencer's large smiles.

She talked and talked to him, as she cuddled him against her chest. I didn't think she'd ever give him up. "Nikolas, he is just beautiful. He is so special…"

"I know," he said as he sat down beside her. "I wouldn't trade him for the world."

I found my hand resting subconsciously across my swelling abdomen. I couldn't wait for my mother to hold my child for the first time. I found for the first time, I couldn't wait to hold my child for the first time.

"You are going to be a big part of my life, little one," my mother explained to Spencer. He watched her speak to him and smiled again. "You are too cute for words. I am never putting you down."

Nikolas told Mom all about Courtney and how she died before getting to see her son. He left out the information of Jax not telling him about Spencer being his son. I wondered why he would conceal the information but figured it was his decision.

My cell phone started ringing and I stood up to answer it. "Hello."

"Lulu, how is your Mom?" Dillon asked gently. I smiled as I heard his voice and moved out onto the porch.

"She's good. She remembered everything and she's okay. She even spoke with Dr. Winters. Everything is going to be okay."

"I'm so glad to hear that Lulu. I really am. Do you want to do something tomorrow?"

"I can't. I'm going dress shopping."

"Dress shopping?"

"My parents are getting remarried."

"Does my mom know?"

"My father said he was going to handle her."

"Does your father remember my mother? She isn't one that likes to be handled."

"Well if he makes it out alive, my parents are getting remarried on the 16th."

"Wow that is soon. You need a date?"

"I couldn't ask that of you…"

"Come on, I would love to escort the mother of my child to her parents wedding."

"Well, if Georgie doesn't mind."

"I'm sure she'll understand."

"I've got to go. I'll call you again soon."

"Okay, I'm really happy for you about your Mom."

"I'm really happy too. Bye Dillon."

"Bye Lulu."

I smiled as I closed my phone. I couldn't help but feel my love for Dillon growing ever stronger.

I opened the door and my gaze met my nephew's gaze as he looked in my direction. "Hi Spencer…" I cooed. His smile grew large. Spencer and I had spent a lot of time together when I stayed with Nikolas. Nikolas thought it would be good for me to get experience as well as bond with my nephew. "You are just so happy, aren't you?" He wriggled in my mother's arms with excitement and let out an adorable little laugh.

"He likes you," my mother said gently. "You like your aunt Lulu, don't you?"

"He and his Aunt Lulu have a very close relationship," Nikolas explained.

"I'm glad to hear that," my mother said, with a smile.

The afternoon passed quickly and finally Nikolas felt it was time for Spencer to get home. It was becoming late in the evening. Mom kissed her grandson goodbye and begrudgingly let him go.

We waved goodbye to Nikolas and Spencer and once again it was the three of us. My mother turned to me. "Does Nikolas still see Emily?" she asked me delicately.

"Yes, Nikolas' butler Alfred is set on getting them back together. He's always planning these surprise dinners for them. Emily and Nikolas get along well, especially since the birth of Spencer."

"What about Elizabeth and Lucky?"

"Elizabeth was really hurt this summer. She still hasn't forgiven him and I believe is pushing for divorce."

"That's too bad."

"Lucky is set on getting her back. He loves her so much."

"How was Lucky injured?"

"There was a sadistic man living in town. He had kidnapped Elizabeth. Lucky went after her and ended up getting shot in the back. He did however, save Elizabeth."

"I wish I could have been here for him…"

"You are here now and that is what matters…"

"She's right Laura," Grandma Lesley said, as she stood up and left the room.

"I know. It's just hard sometimes when I realize all that I have missed in the last four years. Especially my little girl growing up into such a beautiful woman."

"I'm not that beautiful…"

"You are gorgeous."

I smiled at her but that did nothing to stop the tears from filling my eyes.

"Honey what is the matter?" she asked gently. She moved beside me on the couch and I leaned into her, allowing her to comfort me.

"I don't want to be pregnant…"

"Oh sweetheart, I know it must be hard. You don't necessarily have to keep the baby. You could put it up for adoption. I'll be here for you though, if you choose to raise it."

"I'm scared. I'm not ready to be a mother. I almost had an abortion."

"Why didn't you?"

"I didn't want to kill my baby… You wouldn't have cared?"

"That's not my decision to make. I would have supported you either way. You are my daughter Lulu and I love you."

"You didn't want me…"

"What are you talking about?"

"I didn't want to have this baby because I didn't want it to grow up unwanted like I did…"

"Unwanted?!?" My mother exclaimed. She stood up in shock and walked around the room. "You were never unwanted."

"You don't have to lie. I understand."

"I don't know what you've been through in the past four years to make you think that, but I always wanted you. Lulu, when I found out I was pregnant. I was ecstatic. So was your father. Lucky was jumping off the walls. It brought Nikolas into our lives. Are you kidding me? You were never unwanted."

"I was a mistake…"

"No you were not," my mother said incredulously. "What have people told you while I was gone?" She came back to me and sat down beside me. "Lulu, I wanted you. More than anything, I wanted my little girl. When I had you, my life felt complete. You were not a mistake and you were most definitely wanted. When you were sick as a baby, I thought I was going to lose my daughter. My life felt diminished when I thought you wouldn't be in it."

Tears spilled from my eyes as I listened to my mother's confession. She brushed them from my face. "You really mean that?"

"Of course I mean that. I absolutely adore you. I love you so much it hurts. Please don't think for a second that I didn't want you. That is the most untrue statement that was ever uttered."

I cried harder and my mother rocked me back and forth. "I'm sorry you've had to face so much without me. I'm here now Honey and I want you to feel you can tell me anything."

I nodded and let her comfort me, truly comfort me for the first time in four years. I told her about struggling with the idea of abortion. I explained how the Quartermaines had pitched a fit about the baby being an heir. I told her how Dad had been there for me to help me make my decision. I told her about Lucky and Nikolas trying to help me through it, as well as Carly. I told her about going to the clinic and picturing my baby's blood on my hands. I told her everything, except why I got pregnant with Dillon's child. That was something I still wasn't ready to tell her. Contemplating an abortion is one thing, breaking up a marriage is quite another.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with General Hospital.**

To Choose Life

Chapter 10

Crying on my mother's shoulder had been the most cathartic thing I had ever done. I wiped my face to clear away the remnants of tears. My mother stroked my hair. "You're going to be okay sweetheart. I know you are. This baby will change you. Just wait and see."

"What if I don't love it?"

A smile grew across my mother's face. "I find that hard to believe. I see you shield your hand across your stomach. You already want to protect this baby. You wait and see. You are going to fall madly in love with it, when you hold it for the first time. I'll be right there by your side. Even if you don't love it, I do. It's my grandchild and I will always love it."

I laughed as more tears spilled from my eyes. I wasn't aware one could produce that much moisture. I was surprised I wasn't dehydrated. "I'm so tired of being emotional," I moaned.

My mother laughed. "Want to hear a story?"

I nodded. "When I was pregnant with you," she started. "I remember this one time when your father had left a sock out. I was so mad at him for leaving a sock on the floor that I was yelling at him. I was really angry about this sock. Anyway, all of a sudden I burst into tears. Your father was terrified. He asked me why I was crying and I was crying because there was a hole in it. I felt sorry for the sock," my mother said, as we both burst into a fit of laughter.

"Yeah, Dillon gets the brunt of my anger."

"And he should. If you have to suffer while you're pregnant, then so should he," she said with a smirk.

My mother told me stories from her pregnancies with all three of us. It finally put me at ease. My father arrived home and I excused myself to shower. I felt the need to wash everything way and come out feeling fresh and clean. I could at least wash my hands of the contemplation of abortion, even if my lies to Dillon stayed fresh in my mind.

The hot water enveloped my aching body. The added weight was already beginning to bother the rest of me. My feet were sore sometimes, my back hurt sometimes and I was always tired. It felt good to allow the hot water to take it all away and let me escape, if only for a few minutes.

As I climbed out and dried off, I stared momentarily at my growing stomach in the mirror. It wasn't large, but it was apparent. I rubbed my hand across the bulge and smiled. "I'm going to do my best for you baby. I promise. I will try to do everything I can to make your life better than mine was."

I dressed quickly in a skirt and t – shirt. I would wear pants, but none of them fit me. I went back downstairs. My mother and father were deep in conversation. I tried to tiptoe past. "Going somewhere Lulu?" my father called.

"I was going to go to Kelly's for an hour."

"Good, bring me back a piece of pie. Laura is there anything you would like?" my father asked.

"I'll have pie. What kind?"

"How about apple?" my father suggested and my mother nodded in response. I smiled at my parents and then left.

XXXXX

I entered Kelly's and approached the counter. Georgie smiled at me. "Hey Lulu, what's going on?"

"I'm beginning to feel overwhelmed. Can I get a glass of milk and a BLT?"

"Of course. Do you want to talk?" she asked softly.

"I don't want you to get in trouble."

"I was just about to take my break," she offered.

"That would be nice," I said with a smile.

"I'll be over as soon as I put your order in."

Georgie finally sat down at my table and handed me my milk. "What's going on? Is your mother okay?"

"My mother's fine. I am so happy that everything is finally working out the way I dreamed and yet I'm scared all of the time. I finally told my mother about almost having the abortion. You know what she told me?"

"What?"

"That she did want me."

"Of course she did. Your mother adores you. Don't you remember?"

"I remember, but I always thought that I was a mistake."

"What else happened?"

"My mother saw Spencer for the first time."

Georgie smiled. "He's a cute kid."

"I know. My mother just loved him."

"Georgie, why do you talk to this whore?" Maxie's shrill voice said behind me.

"Maxie don't be so rude…" Georgie started.

"How can you defend her? She is pregnant with Dillon's child. She broke yours and Dillon's marriage up."

"Technically she didn't…" Georgie said. "We were actually getting a divorce before anything happened. Besides, Lulu shouldn't have to pay for it for the rest of her life."

"It's okay Georgie. You don't have to defend me. I know what I've done. I feel guilty for what I've done. Unlike some people," I said, as I turned in Maxie's direction. She glared at me.

"You know Lulu, you're not as great as you think you are…" Maxie spat venomously.

"When have I ever said I was great?" I asked, dumbfounded at her idiocy.

"Maxie leave Lulu alone…" Georgie growled.

"Don't worry Georgie, Maxie throwing insults at me doesn't hurt that much. I actually find it humourous," I said, as Mike brought over my BLT. "Thank you," I said to him.

"If you weren't pregnant Lulu, I would kick your ass," she stated bitterly.

"Why cause you're not pregnant? How long are you going to pretend?" I asked viciously.

"I am not pretending…" Maxie retorted.

"I'll believe you when you're in labour."

"Lulu, you're not the only one pregnant here, okay?" Maxie said angrily.

"Have you run out of insults?"

"Hardly, at least I didn't have to lie to get my guy," she said bitterly.

"No, you only had to provide him with drugs…"

"Lucky chose to be with me. Dillon had to be lied to…"

"You know what Maxie, shut up…" Dillon's angry voice said from behind her.

"How can you defend her in front of Georgie?" Maxie spat, as she turned to him.

"How can I not, when you're being such a bitch?"

"Enough," Georgie exclaimed. "Maxie if you don't have anything nice to say to Lulu or Dillon, then don't talk to them. Go away."

Both Dillon and I exchanged concerned glances. "Really guys Maxie doesn't bother me that much," I insisted.

"You have enough to deal with, without Maxie adding to it," Dillon said.

"He's right Lulu. Stress isn't good for the baby," Georgie agreed.

"I don't think I can control that," I said with a smile.

Dillon pulled up a chair. "You need to have fun," he insisted. "I have a movie that I know you will both truly enjoy."

"I'm working," Georgie said gently.

"When you get off work. The both of you must come see it."

"I don't know Dillon…" I started.

"Lulu, I will drag you to the movies," he said threateningly.

"He's right Lulu, you could use some fun," Georgie agreed.

I sighed. "I guess I could use the distraction. However, first I need to deliver two pieces of pie to my parents."

"I'll take you over when you're finished eating," Dillon said.

"I have to get back to work. I'll talk to you later Lulu," Georgie said. I turned away before she kissed Dillon. I still couldn't stomach it.

I finished my sandwich, ordered my pies and then paid. Dillon followed me out. "What happened with Maxie?" he asked, as we reached his car.

"She can't have Lucky, so she takes it out on me. I hurt Georgie, so she yells at me. I'm just not in her good graces. It's really okay, she doesn't bother me."

Dillon talked my ear off about this movie, while he drove. It was nice to listen to him talk. It felt like old times.

We arrived at Grandma Lesley's and Dillon followed me inside. My parents were still in the same place they were when I left.

"Hello Young Spielberg, what brings you by?" my father asked, as I handed my parents they're respective pies.

"Dillon is going to distract me for the evening, so that you two can be alone," I explained.

"Okay, but don't knock my daughter up. Oh wait, you already did…" my father said, before my mother slugged him in the stomach.

"Luke," she said sternly.

"Come on Dillon," I said as I rolled my eyes and turned to leave. "Have a nice night."

"You too," my mother called out after us.

Dillon and I climbed back into the car. "What time does Georgie get off of work?" I asked.

"9:00."

He started to drive and I contemplated what to say, when I suddenly saw an A&P. "Stop the car, Dillon," I exclaimed.

"What? Stop for what?" he said, as he slammed on the brakes.

"I need ice cream…" I said, pointing at the grocery store. Dillon was busy waving at the people honking at him for slamming on his brakes.

He pulled into the parking lot. "Can you maybe be more specific when I'm driving?" he asked, as he parked the car.

"It's not like you know those people."

He followed me inside. "We need a cart," I said.

"I thought you wanted ice cream."

"Dillon, I'm hungry. Besides, I can't watch a movie without popcorn."

"Of course not," he said with a laugh, as he grabbed the cart and followed after me.

I started tossing things in the cart, as Dillon followed along. Finally we reached the check out. "What, have you been starved your entire life?" he asked, looking at the overflowing cart.

"Dillon, your child is hungry," I insisted, as I placed my hand against my stomach.

"You guys are expecting?" the woman behind us said. "Congratulations." I smiled at her and watched her eyes travel to my naked ring finger.

"So how are you paying for this?" Dillon asked.

"With this," I said, handing the clerk my credit card.

"Where did you get a credit card?"

"Your grandfather…"

"My grandfather gave you a credit card?"

"Dillon, I am carrying the precious Quartermaine heir," I said, in the tone his grandfather would have said it in. He smiled. "You don't want the heir to go hungry do you?"

"Hungry for Brownie ice cream?" he asked.

"Brownie explosion, Dillon."

"So you have a credit card from my grandfather and you haven't taken advantage of it?"

"Dillon, when have I ever taken advantage of anything?" I asked him in a mock serious tone. Instead we both burst out laughing.

I signed my name on the receipt for the sales clerk and then thanked her. The bag boy helped Dillon carry out our groceries, since I was pregnant and didn't want to do any heavy lifting. Or at least, that was my excuse.

Once the car was packed. I climbed into the front seat with my ice cream and plastic spoon. Dillon climbed into the driver's seat and looked over at me. "You sure that ice cream isn't too heavy for you?"

I laughed, as I lifted the spoon to my mouth. "Oh my God, this is so good. Taste it," I said as I placed the spoon in front of his face until he accepted it into his mouth.

"It is good," he admitted.

I smiled as he drove to the mansion. I took one bag, while Dillon struggled with the rest. We entered the mansion. "Hello young Lady, how are you feeling?" Edward asked, as we came inside.

"I'm good," I said, as I held the door for Dillon.

"Are you moving back in?" Edward asked, as Dillon brought in the bags.

"This is Lulu's snack," Dillon insisted. "She's come over to watch a movie with Georgie and I."

"Where is Georgie?"

"She works until 9:00."

"So how is your mother?" Edward asked me.

"She's good. She is recovering nicely," I said as I sat down. Alice helped Dillon with all of the bags.

"I'm off to the club for the evening," Edward exclaimed. We watched him leave and then Dillon sat down beside me on the couch.

"You want to go upstairs?" he asked gently. I nodded and followed him up the steps.

We went into his room. "We probably have time to watch a movie before I pick up Georgie."

"Want a pickle?" I asked, as I pulled one from a jar.

"Pickles after chocolate brownie ice cream? Appetizing…"

"Try delicious," I said with a laugh, as I bit into the sour pickle.

He picked a movie and slid it into the VCR. I had always asked him why he preferred VHS to DVD. He insisted it was more authentic. He flipped it on and tossed himself onto the bed beside me. For some reason sitting beside him in his bed didn't bother either one of us. I momentarily wondered if Georgie would feel the same way.

I felt movement and my hand instantly went to my stomach. "What's wrong?"

"I think the baby is moving," I admitted. "I didn't expect to feel it this early."

"Are you okay?" he asked panic stricken.

"Everything is fine Dillon. It means I'm developing normally."

I watched him breathe a sigh of relief and the colour return to his face. "I think she is just thanking me for the ice cream," I said with a smile.

"You think we're having a girl?"

"Call it woman's intuition, right baby?" I asked my stomach, illiciting a large smile from Dillon.

"You are so into this," he said, as his hand slid against the bulge of my stomach.

"Well don't tell anyone. I don't want people to think I'm soft."

He laughed. "Your mother already loves you," Dillon taunted my stomach.

I slapped his arm and he pulled my arm away and ended up maneuvering himself above me. His mouth was only inches from mine and every ounce of strength I had was keeping me from pressing my lips to his. He suddenly became aware of our position and pulled away.

"So what is this movie about?" I asked to break the tension.

Dillon gave me the synopsis but I couldn't listen. I was too distracted by memories of his mouth pressed against mine, the weight of his body on top of me, the feeling of being a part of him. I felt the tears coming before I could do anything to stop them.

"What's wrong Lulu?" he asked gently, as he pressed pause on the remote.

"I'm fine, I'm just emotional," I lied.

"Are you sure?" he asked softly.

I nodded. "Everything just gets to me."

I waited for him to drop the subject, but instead he placed his hand under my chin and moved my face so I would meet his gaze. "Talk to me."

"My mother wanted me," I revealed.

"Of course she did. Your mother loves you."

"I guess I'd forgotten that over the years. I keep hearing my father's words reiterate over and over in my mind. Promise me, if something happens to me, that you will never make our child feel less than they are. Promise me, that you will make them feel wanted."

"I promise Lulu, but nothing is going to happen to you."

"You don't understand Dillon. You don't understand how much it hurts to hear your father say he never wanted you."

"Luke said that?"

"When Grandma Lesley brought me here. He told her that I was my mother's project and that he never wanted me." As I admitted this to him, I felt myself fall apart and sob uncontrollably.

"I'm sorry Lulu. I am so sorry that you heard that from your father. However, I know he cares about you in his own little way. Parenting is not his strong suit, but he loves you. When you were sick in February, he would have moved heaven and hell to make sure that you were okay. You are his little girl and that isn't something he can look past. Though I promise you, I will never let our child feel that way, okay?"

I nodded and let him embrace me, taking comfort against his solid body. Dillon was the only person that made me feel this safe, besides my mother. I only wished I hadn't used lies to break him and Georgie up, because I still hold onto the fact that we could have been something great. Now I have to settle for being the mother of his child and nothing more than his friend.


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with General Hospital.**

**A/N: Okay writers, Lulu's being held hostage, let's see you bring her and Dillon closer together. What do you think the chances are? I was pretty optimistic until that scene with Georgie the other day. Now I'm just scared. They might instead take the opportunity to bring Dillon and Georgie closer together. (Excuse me while I vomit). Please writers do not punish us with that. I'm begging you. Anyway guys, enjoy…**

To Choose Life

Chapter 11

I heard a knock on the bedroom door. I climbed out of the bed and went to answer it. I was disoriented and it took me a moment to realize where I was. I swung the door open and saw Dillon on the other side. "Why am I here?" I asked timidly, as I looked around my old bedroom.

"You fell asleep during the movie so I put you in here. You were really tired."

"Crying all of the time does that."

"Nice to see, that you're not still sitting with your face in the toilet."

"Yeah, the morning sickness is pretty much gone. Thanks for hanging out with me last night. I've got to go though. I have to get ready to go out with my Mom."

"You need a ride?"

"That would be nice."

"So are you moving back into your Grandma Lesley's?"

"Now that my Mom is back, it's her home. I don't see why I shouldn't. That way I can relieve both Nikolas and Carly."

"I do miss you," he said gently.

"I miss you too," I said in return, as I started to walk past him.

Dillon followed me downstairs and out to the car. He climbed into the driver's seat and started driving slowly to my grandmother's home.

He stopped the car in front of my grandmother's house. "Thanks for the ride."

"Anytime. You know where to find me."

I smiled at him, waved lethargically and then went inside. My mother was putting on a pair of earrings. "Lulu, I wondered when you were going to get here. Did you have a nice night?"

"Yeah, did you?"

"Always," she said genuinely. "Get ready, your aunt Bobbie will be here in about half an hour."

"I'm going," I said as I ran up the stairs.

XXXXX

My mother had also talked Emily and Elizabeth into coming. Alfred thought he was good and clever, but my mother could take the cake at trying to put people back together.

The six of us met at the mall. "Hey beautiful," Emily said to me when I approached. "How are you feeling?"

"Exhausted."

She smiled genuinely. "Are you excited?"

"A tiny bit," I admitted. "But don't tell anyone. I want to milk this for all its worth."

"Spoken like a true Spencer," Emily said teasingly.

"I need a wedding dress," my mother announced.

"Laura I know the perfect place," Bobbie said. "Come with me."

We all followed along. Elizabeth and Emily walked behind with me. "How are you feeling?" I asked Elizabeth.

"I'm fine. How's Lucky?" she asked gently.

"He's doing really well. He's taking his recovery really seriously. I'm really proud of him."

"I'm glad to hear that," Elizabeth said gently. "I am proud of him too."

"Proud enough to take him back?"

"Do you have any maternity clothes yet?" Emily asked with concern, saving Elizabeth from answering my question.

"Not really," I admitted.

"Well, we're going to have to find you some."

"That would be nice. It's going to get too cold to wear skirts all of the time."

We all went inside the bridal shop that Bobbie had taken us to. "These are beautiful," my mother exclaimed. She picked out some dresses and carried them into the back with her. We sat and waited.

"Hey you," Bobbie said to me. "How are you feeling honey?"

"I'm fine; other than the fact that I'm blowing up like a balloon. None of my clothes fit, of course, except for a couple pairs of maternity clothes that Carly gave me. My feet and back hurt and I'm always tired."

"Well, we'll just have to get you some nice new maternity clothes, now won't we?"

"That's probably a good idea. I don't think skirts work too well during the winter."

"Well?" my mother said as she emerged from the change room.

"You look beautiful," Grandma Lesley said.

"You look gorgeous," Elizabeth said, as she went toward her.

"Lulu?"

"You look absolutely stunning," I said, as I went to her side.

"You need a dress. You're the maid of honour."

"I'm not going to fit anything," I moaned, as I looked down at my bulging stomach.

"We'll find something beautiful," Aunt Bobbie said, as she grabbed my arm and dragged me over to some dresses.

She pulled some off of the rack. "Well?"

"That wouldn't fit me if I exhaled every bit of oxygen in my lungs."

A sales clerk came over. "Can I help you?"

"She needs a dress and she is four months pregnant."

I smiled at the clerk.

"What colour would you like?"

"I don't know… red, maybe burgundy."

"Burgundy we can do."

She led me to some dresses and pulled them off of the rack. She then took me to the change room and pushed me inside. I delicately tried on the first dress and stared at my image in the mirror. Emily knocked on the door. "Do you need me to do the dress up?"

"Yes, please," I said, as I pulled the door open for her to enter.

She slipped inside and stood behind me. The zipper slid up and wrapped the satin material tightly around my skin.

I stared into the mirror. The dress was shaped to hide my stomach. It was tight at the bust but loosened below so that I would have to be much more pregnant for anyone to know. I smiled, satisfied with my appearance.

"You look beautiful," Emily encouraged.

"Thank you," I said genuinely.

She pushed open the door and pulled me out to see everyone.

"Lulu, you look gorgeous," my mother exclaimed.

"I could never look as beautiful as the bride," I assured her.

She wrapped her arms around my shoulders, as tears filled her eyes. "This is all so perfect," my mother cried. "Thank you all for being here."

"We wouldn't miss it for the world," my aunt Bobbie said softly.

My mother waved her hands for everyone to come towards her and then she wrapped us in an embrace.

We paid for the dresses and then the five women dragged me into a maternity store. "You know you are so lucky," my mother said. "When I was pregnant maternity clothes were not this fashionable."

"I wouldn't exactly call these fashionable," I muttered as I lifted up an enormous pair of jeans. "I don't want to get this big," I cried, eliciting laughter from my family.

"Honey, that's the fun part of being pregnant," Bobbie said.

"Don't worry Lulu, I'm not far behind," Elizabeth assured me. "We'll be big together."

I laughed. "At least I don't have to go through it alone."

I picked out several outfits, some bigger than I was now, since I would reach that point soon.

Afterwards we went out for lunch. The day ended up being perfect.

That night my mother insisted on having a family dinner. Not that I was complaining, I finally understood what it felt like to belong in a family. We ate and talked about our lives. I told everyone about my job at Carly's hotel. They were all happy that I found a job I enjoyed, as well as something to occupy my time while I was pregnant.

We talked until everyone was exhausted and finally went to bed, looking forward to the wedding that was only days away.

XXXXX

The day of the wedding I woke up feeling as excited as a child on Christmas morning. To me, this was better than any Christmas gift that I could ever receive. I was finally getting my family back. I was finally starting to feel like I had somewhere to belong. I suddenly felt as though my life did indeed have a purpose.

We went to the Quartermaines and I used my old room to get ready. I got dressed, had my hair done and put on my make up. I stopped in front of a mirror to make sure I was satisfied with my appearance. "This is a big day Baby," I whispered to my stomach. I turned from the image before me and went to check on my mother.

I knocked on the door of the room that she was using to get ready. I was met with silence. "Mom," I called as I opened the door. I realized she wasn't there but her dress was. I began to feel extremely concerned.

I went outside, looking everywhere for her and finally found her by the water. "Mom, what are you doing out here?"

She turned to look at me and I saw a look of confusion pass across her face. "I must have lost track of time," she said gently. "I was just thinking."

"Are you nervous?"

"I'm always nervous about walking down the aisle, but not about marrying your father," she assured me.

"You'll do great," I said with a smile. "The wedding is scheduled to start in an hour."

"I better get ready then," she said. "I'll be in, in a moment."

"Okay," I said, nodding. I still had a million things to do. I turned and started walking back inside.

"You," I called to Dillon, when I found him in the living room of the mansion.

"What?"

"I need a favour."

"What do you need?"

"I need you to record my parent's wedding."

"I don't know Lulu."

"Please, we have a photographer but I want someone I can trust."

"I don't even know if I can find my camera."

"Please do this for our child. I want to be able to show them this day."

"You know how to manipulate me way too well," he said with a laugh. I followed him out of the living room.

"Dad get ready," I exclaimed. Then I ran upstairs to find Elizabeth and Emily.

The ladies of the family all gathered together in my mother's room, to give her a few gifts for the wedding. It was a tradition in our family. After we finished making my mother cry, I helped her fix her mascara. "Should I go get Nikolas?" I asked.

She nodded and everyone but my mother left the room.

XXXXX

The wedding started and I was the first to walk down the aisle. I smiled as I noticed Dillon had in fact found his camera. I went down the aisle slowly, relishing in the fact that my life was being put back together piece by piece.

My mother and Nikolas came next. She looked so beautiful and so happy. I had missed her bright smile; the way it not only lit up the room but the world around her.

She reached my father at the alter and he took her delicate hand. They said their vows and exchanged rings. Everything went by in a blur, but I will never forget the happiness I felt in that moment. My hope was renewed. I felt all of the pessimism that normally ruled my life, dissipate.

After my mother and father were pronounced husband and wife. We were told it was time for family pictures. We took picture after picture of each one of us. It all felt so surreal and magical. Until, of course, Maxie showed up. I really began to feel concerned of her sanity. She was seriously delusional. I made a mental note to talk to Georgie about the psych ward.

The hours bled into one another and soon it was time for the reception. I had to sit down, my back and feet were in a great protest from all of the standing. We ate and listened to all of the speeches. For some reason I felt inclined to make one.

I stood up and stared out at the room of people. "I want to thank Robin for giving me my life back. You not only gave me back my mother, you gave me back my family. You gave my father back his better half. I will never take my mother fore granted again and I know neither will my father. I was young when they were married before. I missed out on the magic that everyone always described to me. Today I see that magic is renewed. I can only hope that I can find half as much love in a partner at some time in my future. Thank you."

People cheered while I got down from the microphone. I brushed the tears from my face. My mother grabbed my arm. "That was beautiful sweetheart."

I smiled at her and wrapped my arms around her.

Once dinner had ended my parents got up on the dance floor. Their movements were so fluid and practiced, revealing a love so strong and defined. I smiled as I watched them. It was all so perfect.

It wasn't long before the bouquet was tossed, which was caught by Maxie. Then Nikolas arranged for a horse and carriage to take them away. Nikolas seemed to love arranging fairytale weddings. I felt like a character in Cinderella.

We all retreated inside to continue the party and I found a nice spot to place myself against the wall. I was so tired.

Dillon approached me with a smile on his face. "Your mother would want her maid of honour on the dance floor."

"My mother's not here."

"Yes, she is. She's in every smile in this room and she's in you."

"Did you hear that in a movie?"

"Can I have a dance?" he asked graciously.

I looked at him and cocked my head to the side. "I'm too fat."

"You're not fat. You aren't even five months pregnant."

"I'm huge and I look hideous," I cried, feeling my emotions whirl around inside my head.

"You are as beautiful now as the first day I met you," he said, as he pulled on my hand and lifted me from my seat. He pulled me directly into his arms. "I want to dance with the mother of my child," he said gently.

I smiled at him and allowed him to pull me against him as we spun around slowly to the music. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he wrapped his around my waist. "Where's Georgie tonight?"

"She's sick," he said softly.

I rested my head on his shoulder, letting myself get lost in this moment, if only for a few minutes.


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with General Hospital. I did borrow some dialogue from the show which was created by the actual writers who write for the show and not me. **

**A/N: Well Spinelli has suddenly taken a liking to Lulu. It's cute, but I hope he doesn't come between her and Dillon. Great, I knew that line the other day was a hint. "Film Guy is not your destiny." Umm, sorry Spinelli, but yes Film Guy is her destiny. I will believe nothing less. I'm a little disappointed b/c I absolutely love the friendship b/w Spinelli and Lulu and I don't want that to be tainted by romance. **

To Choose Life

Chapter 12

Our dancing came to an end when the interim DA, Ric Lansing, arrived and made an attempt to arrest Sonny. Then Elizabeth collapsed and we all watched with concern. Carly was screaming at Ric, but my mind was still with my parents. I hoped they were having a good time.

As the drama began to die down, Dillon led me out of the room. "You don't need to be subjected to that," he said gently.

"It's just a lot of yelling Dillon."

"This is still your parents wedding night. You deserve to be having fun."

I smiled at him. "I am having fun. This is the best day of my life," I admitted, and was rewarded with one of his smiles.

"That is exactly what you deserve," he said, as he pushed a stray strand of my hair behind my ear.

Once most of the guests had disappeared, Dillon took me back into the room where Elizabeth and Lucky were sitting. "Are you okay?" I asked; concern evident in my tone.

"I'm fine," she said softly.

I sat down and lifted my feet from my shoes and placed them in Dillon's lap. He took the hint and started massaging my swelling feet.

Nikolas and Emily arrived in the room. "Mom just called…"

"On her wedding night?" I asked.

"Yeah she wants me, you and Lucky to meet her at the house," he explained.

"I can't leave…" Lucky started, motioning at Elizabeth.

"I'm fine," she told him. "You need to go. Your mother needs you."

"Why do they want to see us?" I asked, as I begrudgingly pulled my feet from Dillon's hands.

"She didn't say, but she wants to see us now."

I nodded, and slid my feet back into my shoes, before standing up and following Lucky and Nikolas out of the room.

XXXXX

We arrived at the house and stared at the building. "Do you think something is wrong?" I asked, slightly panicked.

"I'm sure it's nothing," Lucky offered, but his tone was as nervous as mine.

The three of us went up the walk and pushed open the door. My parents were sitting on the couch. "What's going on?" Nikolas asked.

"Before we get into anything, I want to thank all of you, for making this such a memorable day. You have no idea what it means to your father and me to look out there and see all of you kids supporting us like that."

"Did you enjoy the carriage ride?" Nikolas asked gently.

"Oh yes," she exclaimed. My father agreed with her. She told us about how they danced in the gazebo. It all sounded so perfect.

"So umm, why did you want to see us?" I asked, slightly confused.

"I didn't," she said, shaking her head. "Did I? Did I make something up in my head?" Her eyes went to my father's.

"No. No, I'm sorry. This is my fault. I misunderstood. I didn't check when the message came in. I mean obviously it was an old one. We should go," Nikolas said, motioning at Lucky and I to follow.

"As much as we love seeing all of you, get out of here," my father ordered in a cheerful tone.

We made our way to the door, before my mother shouted, "Don't go." We all turned around, suddenly very confused. "Sit down."

We did as we were told. It was in that moment that I recognized that something was not right. In fact something was very wrong. I placed my hand against my abdomen, as fear coursed through my veins.

"Mom, what's going on?" Lucky asked; his voice laced with concern.

"I have been having some memory lapses and losing time. I… I am so profoundly grateful to have had these last few weeks here with you. I really am and I wouldn't give that back. Not for anything but unfortunately…"

"No, I don't want to hear this," I exclaimed, feeling my trachea constrict. I felt like I was being asphyxiated as I raced toward the door.

"Lulu sit down and let your mother have her say," my father ordered.

"No, I won't," I said, as I slammed the door. I dropped into a chair and started to sob.

"Lulu," my father said gently, as he sat down beside me on the porch.

"It's not true. Mom can take more of the drug."

"It wouldn't keep her with us."

"You're not surprised. Which means that…" I struggled over my words. "Have you known that it was going to end up like this, all along? When did the doctor's tell you Mom's recovery was only temporary?" I demanded, pressing my hand against my stomach.

"I knew before they gave her the medicine."

"How could you keep that a secret?" I felt sick as I ran past him and went to run upstairs.

"Lulu, stop. Don't blame your father," my mother ordered.

I started to feel pain everywhere. I felt so sick, that I suddenly just became overwhelmed with rage. "Aren't you angry? You had a right to know what was happening to you… Just like we did."

"We all know now," she said soothingly.

"But Dad's known all along…"

"Lulu, keeping this secret was one of the hardest things your father ever had to do and it's also one of the most heroic."

"Why is that, because he led you to believe you were here to stay when you weren't?"

"Take it easy Lulu," Lucky tried to comfort me.

"No," I sobbed, my voice breaking along with my world.

"All right. Listen to me. Listen to me. What if we knew from the start that I was only going to be here for a short time? What would that have been like?"

"It would have made a huge difference."

"Yes, I agree. It would have cast a shadow on every single day; on every moment that we had together. You know? All of those joyous moments, like the first time I saw you as a grown woman. Or the first time you hugged me. Or when you gave me the beautiful wedding present. Or the first time I saw Spencer. Or when you told me Elizabeth was expecting. Or when Dillon told me that you were expecting. All of those moments would have been moments of sadness, instead of joy because we would have been focused on what we had to lose instead of what we had to celebrate.

"Please, don't be angry with your father. Try to appreciate the sacrifice that he made so that we could be a family again, even if it was only for a short time…" she said, as she broke down and reached out for me. She held me as we both came to terms with the unbearable news.

"Can we all move on?" my father asked. I could hear the exhaustion in his voice. My mother pulled away from me, even though I didn't want to let go.

"Mom how long do you have left?" Nikolas asked. "Do the doctor's have any idea?"

"I don't think it's very long."

We all took a moment to sit down, so that we could discuss what we should do next.

"I've known for a while that something was wrong," she explained. "I was hoping that maybe it was the residual effects of the medication and that I was still moving forward, but I'm not. I'm sure that you must have noticed."

"I haven't," I exclaimed.

"There were a couple of glitches before the wedding, but I thought it was nerves," Nikolas confirmed.

"And you couldn't remember why you called us here," Lucky agreed.

"But she did remember, so she's okay," I said, desperately trying to rationalize everything in my mind so that I could confirm that I wasn't going to lose her.

"The memory lapses are happening more often," my mother continued. "I'm getting worse and I know in my heart that I have to leave soon."

"Don't say that," I begged, pleading with God, in my head, to not take my mother away again.

"There is one thing that I want you all to understand. Luke had very, very difficult decisions to make right from the very start, but he did exactly what I would have wanted him to do. He brought us all together and he gave us as many perfect days as we could possibly have as a family," my mother said, before bursting into tears. "I would have risked anything to have had that time with you, even if I knew the truth from the very start."

I started to cry again. "You can't leave Mom. I can't lose you again," I sobbed. "I can't do this pregnancy without you." She wrapped me in her arms.

"Yes you can. You are strong. I have faith in you. I know you're going to hold this child for the first time and love it with every bit of your heart. However, I understand if, when it is born, you still feel like you're not ready and decide to give it up for adoption."

My whole world felt like it had been pulled out from under me. My world was shattering, this time worse than it had ever been. I couldn't raise this child without my mother. I needed her.

She held me for a few moments longer and then slowly pulled away. "Come on now, I don't want to waste any more time dwelling on what we're going to lose. I want to treasure moments like these. You know? Look at us, we're all here together, gathered in the living room and we're all getting along. How many families get that?" she asked, forcing herself to laugh to try and cheer us up. I was beyond being cheered up.

"You were always so good at that," Lucky started. "No matter where we were or how fast we had to disappear, you'd find a way to look at the bright side."

"We had some pretty incredible years on the road. Didn't we? Depending on each other… Thinking on our feet…"

"You brought me up in the family that I want to have," Lucky continued.

"And you will. I know you will," my mother told him. "Now listen, all of you are going to survive this because you're very strong and because you have each other. I want to talk to you a little bit about what it's going to be like after I'm gone."

"Sweetheart, we have plenty of time to deal with that," my father interrupted.

"Luke. I don't want you to worry about anything that happened over these last few weeks, okay? I don't want you to feel guilty about anything you said, or anything you didn't say. I just… I want you to know that when I do leave, I don't want you to think that I'm suffering because I'm not. I can't remember anything about those last four years. It's as if time didn't even exist for me. So when I do slip away, I just want you to know that I'm resting and that I'm at peace. Okay? And don't tie yourself to me."

"You don't want us to come see you?" I asked gently, as I fought the tears from spilling down my cheeks.

"If it makes you feel better, then yes, fine, but don't come to see me out of some sense of obligation or guilt. Cause I don't want that. I want you all to go on and I want you to live your lives to the fullest. I want you to be good to each other. I want you to be a family. That's the best way to show me that you love me."

"Mom, tell us what you need right now. What can we give you right now, that would make you smile?" Nikolas asked.

"Memories," she whispered.

We discussed moments we remembered from our childhood. I reminisced about my seventh birthday party. It felt good to remember such a happy time. I told my mother how back then I thought she would always be around. She nodded and told me she remembered. She reached out for my hand and stroked my face. I realized these simple things would be what I missed the most.

We pulled out some old photo albums and looked at all of the pictures we had of growing up. We reminisced about our dog and Dad told a joke about trying to kill him. Nikolas told my mother about Lucky and Elizabeth getting married at Wyndemere. We talked about the Haunted Star.

Suddenly we noticed my mother was staring off into space. "Laura," my father called. My brothers agreed that she should rest, when suddenly she said, "I want this to be the best Christmas ever."

"I know how much you love Christmas, Sweetheart. We've got to get through Turkey Day first," my father insisted.

"I know, it's just that, I'm not going to be here for the real one so, it's Christmas in my heart," she said before running from the room. My father ran after her.

I started to cry while we waited. Nikolas grabbed my arm and pulled me into an embrace. He held me as I sobbed into his shoulder. Lucky stared out the window. My heart was shattering. Everything that had made me happy only hours before was clouded over with an oppressive darkness. I was going to lose the one thing I wanted most in this world and that was my mother. Nothing could relieve this pain that was taking over my body. I was falling apart and there was nothing I could do to stop it.


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with General Hospital. I again borrowed a few lines of dialogue from the actual writers.**

**A/N: Did everyone see it, Dillon insisting upon going inside? That warmed my heart. In fact that was probably one of my favourite parts of Friday's episode. It just makes me so excited for when he sees her again, after this is all over. **

To Choose Life

Chapter 13

My mother and father made their way inside. M mother told us that she wanted one last Christmas with us before she went. We asked if she wanted to rest first, but she told us there wasn't time for rest. So my brothers and father took off to prepare while I ran upstairs to change.

I came back down and sat beside my mother. She was looking at Christmas decorations. She explained the significance of each one. I started to cry again and my mother asked me what was wrong. "I just don't want you to leave."

"I don't think that is it. Honey, you've been holding something back for days."

"I want you to enjoy your last few days. You don't need to hear the sordid details of my life," I said, as I stood up and put a distance between us.

"I can't enjoy my time, if you're not happy. Please tell me what is bothering you," she said, following me to where I now stood.

"You can't help me."

"How do you know that?"

"Because what I did, can't be taken back." I hesitated before continuing. "You want to know what really happened in the summer between Dillon and I?"

"Only if you want to tell me."

"We were never technically in a relationship…" I started. My mother looked at me and cocked her head to the side. She didn't say anything however, she just listened.

"Dillon and Georgie were in a relationship. The town was ravaged by an epidemic back in February. Dillon almost died. Georgie was there for him. Afterwards, they got married. I guess the illness made them value their lives or something. They ended up having a lot of problems in their marriage and discussed getting it annulled. Georgie lied to Dillon and things began to really fall apart. During this time, I had befriended Diego Alcazar. He was set on Georgie and I had fallen in love with Dillon. So we came up with a plan to use their crumbling relationship to our advantage. One night I lied and told Dillon that I saw Georgie having sex with Diego…" I turned my gaze from my mother in shame. "He believed me and broke up with Georgie. I got Dillon, just like I had planned. He found out about my lie and confronted me. Afterwards he went back to Georgie."

"Oh Lulu," my mother said gently.

"Dillon hated me for it, not that I can blame him. I found out I was pregnant a few weeks later."

"Well you can't go back but, at least the truth came out. People make mistakes."

"You don't hate me?"

"How can you say that? I would never hate you. You are my little girl. So you made a mistake; we all make them. We've all done things we regret. No one is perfect," she said, as she wrapped her arms around me.

"I came so close to having that abortion. I went to the appointment, but I couldn't go through with it."

"Why?"

"I didn't want my child's blood on my hands," I confessed, as we both sat back down on the couch.

"Oh sweetheart, do you want this baby now?"

"I don't know. Sometimes I think I might love it and other times I expect to absolutely resent this child. How am I going to deal with it always being a constant reminder of my lies to Dillon? Everyday it will be reinforced that Dillon broke my heart."

"You're going through so much. I wish I could make it easier for you."

"No one can. I got myself into this mess and I have to pay for it."

My mother ran her hand up and down my back. "You've had to deal with so much. I am so sorry, but there is always adoption."

"When I considered the abortion the Quartermaines threatened an injunction to make me keep the baby. They kept trying to get me to sign over custody of the child to Dillon. If it hadn't have been for Dad, they would have gotten away with it."

My mother frowned. "They can be a rather pushy group, especially without Lila."

"They would never let me give this child up. The second it was born, if I tried to give it away I would lose all my parental rights and Dillon would use his to get custody and then the baby would be raised by the Quartermaines. I don't want that."

"Your family will still be here to help you. I know your Aunt Bobbie won't leave you alone with this child if you don't want to be. Nikolas has told me he wants to help you in any way he can. Your grandmother said the same thing. Lucky isn't going to abandon you and your father said that you've been staying with Carly sometimes too. Honey these people are your family and they love you, just like I do. I'm not the only one who can help you."

"You're the one that I want," I cried.

"I know, but I can't stop this from happening to me. All I can do is to try and help you now as best I can."

I nodded. "Dillon keeps romanticizing this idea that everything is going to be so easy. I don't think he knows the first thing about babies."

"Let me let you in on a little secret. Most people don't. Nikolas probably didn't have much experience when Spencer was born. He was a single father. Elizabeth didn't have much experience before Cameron was born. You learn as you go, you use common sense, you read books and you ask other parent's for advice. Parenting is not innate, it's learned. You make mistakes as you go and you try to do the things you think are right and avoid the things you don't."

"Dillon just wants to hand the kid off to a nanny."

"And you don't?"

"I don't know. I don't know what I want, but I don't my child to feel like their parents didn't want them so they pawned them off on hired help; stop by every once and a while to ease their conscience and then take off again. I want my child to feel wanted. I know adopted parents could provide that. The Quartermaines can't. They treat children as pawns and nothing more."

"What about allowing Nikolas' nanny to help raise your child? That way you could still play an active role and Nikolas would always be around. You don't have to sign your rights away."

"I don't want to be an obligation to Nikolas."

"You're not an obligation. He has already told me he wants to help you. This would keep the Quartermaines from taking custody."

"First of all, no matter what I do, Edward is going to pitch a fit. I just don't know what I want."

"Well, you still have more than 4 months to think about it."

Before we could continue our conversation Lucky, Elizabeth and Cameron arrived. Dad followed soon after with a Christmas tree and only moments later, so did Nikolas, Emily and Spencer. "I called your mother, she's on her way," my father said, as he kissed my mother.

"Thank you."

Nikolas, Lucky and my father set up the tree, while Elizabeth and Emily privately discussed something. "What do you think?" my father asked my mother.

She remained silent, looking off into space; exactly like she had for the last four years. "Laura," my father said loudly. We all watched her as she came back to us.

"Why is there a tree here?"

I felt my stomach roll with nausea and my heart skipped a beat.

"We know how much you like Christmas, so we thought we should celebrate one more time," Nikolas explained elusively.

"I asked for this, didn't I? I did," she said, suddenly remembering. "I want the angel. Where's the angel?"

"I have it," I said, as I handed it to her.

She took it. "Luke can you put this up?"

"Hey Little Guy," my father said to Cameron. "Want to put the angel on the tree?"

Cameron nodded and bounded over. My father lifted him so that he could place it on top. "It's beautiful," my mother said. "Thank you Cameron. Thank you all for being here."

Grandma Lesley and Aunt Bobbie arrived and we all sat together and made the memories my mother desired.

Soon after, my mother displayed more signs of memory lapses. We all knew she wouldn't last much longer.

Cameron and Spencer were placed in her lap. She explained to Cameron who she was. He listened carefully. Then she asked if he wouldn't mind if she read him and Spencer a story. Cameron nodded and Elizabeth handed my mother a book.

After the story, she whispered goodbye to Cameron. He kissed her on the cheek and then Lucky lifted him so he and Elizabeth could take him up to a guest room so that he could sleep.

"Well Spencer," my mother said gently. "I guess this is goodbye, little guy."

I felt my baby move inside of me. It made me feel sick. Emotion washed over me. I ran outside and leaned over the porch. Tears poured down my face and I gagged in fear of throwing up. "Lulu," Emily called softly. She shut the door and came to my side.

"I can't do this. I can't raise my child without my mother."

"I know this is hard for you. I am so sorry."

"I need my mother Emily. I can't do this on my own."

"Lulu, you aren't alone. I know Nikolas wants to be here for you."

"I can't be his obligation."

"You're not. Nikolas once told me about the first time he met you. He had just given you bone marrow and he came to see you in the hospital. You were just a little baby in a crib, so innocent and vulnerable. In that moment, he swore he would never let anything happen to you. You were his world, Lulu. I know he still feels that way. He wants you to live the best life you can. He will do anything to help you get that life. You will never be his obligation."

I dropped onto one of the chairs. "My child is going to hate me. It's going to hate Dillon. We aren't ready to be parents and I know we're not going to be able to provide the love this child deserves."

"When my birth mother died, I thought I would never feel love again. The Quartermaines, took me in, they provided me a home, but most importantly, they provided me with love. They're not perfect, but they will not make this child feel unwanted. Your child will feel love. I can promise you that."

"Until when? The next Quartermaine heir? This child will matter until a better one comes along. Wait until Jason has children. My child will be left in the background. Always stifled and shipped off with the nanny. I don't want that."

"Your child doesn't have to live like that. You and Dillon just need to decide how you want your child to grow up and then make it happen."

"I don't know how. I thought my mother would be able to help me, but now she won't. I just don't even know where to begin. I feel like crawling in a hole and never coming out."

"I remember feeling that way. Losing my birth mother made me feel like life wasn't worth living. Grief has a way of taking hold of you. You feel submerged below water, suffocating. Eventually you come through it and you find something to provide meaning in your life. The Quartermaines did that for me and so did Nikolas. You know who else? Your brother Lucky. His friendship was so important to me when I was growing up. He reminded me what it felt like to live. Elizabeth was also there for me. They all helped me get through my own pain and find a reason to take my next breath."

"Who do I have to live for?"

"Me. Nikolas, Spencer, Lucky, Elizabeth, Cameron, Carly, Bobbie, Lesley, your father and this little one right here," she said, as her hand made contact with my abdomen. "You are a part of this family. I do care about you. You were my sister in law once and you are carrying my cousin's child. I want to see you find happiness. I want to see you find that meaning. We all do. Your mother may be gone, but we will all still be here."

"My family forgot I existed for half my life. I have grown up knowing what it feels like to be unwanted. My family doesn't care. They will forget about me, very soon. Then what?"

"That's not true. You matter. You're afraid to let them in because you fear being hurt again. They're not going anywhere."

"I just wish I didn't now have this child relying on me."

"What do you want to do with this child? If you could do anything at all, what would it be? Forget the Quartermaines exist and tell me what _you_ want."

I thought about her question for a minute. I blocked out everything I felt for Dillon. I blocked out everything the Quartermaines have ever said. I thought only of this innocent baby. "I want to provide my child with the most loving home possible. If that's not with me, then so be it."

"Well where do you think that would be? What about Nikolas? You don't have to give him custody, but I know he would take your child in."

"Have you met your grandfather?"

"I'm not saying you should have Nikolas adopt your child. He will help raise this baby though. I know he will love this child."

"I can't ask that of him."

"Why not?" Nikolas said, from the doorway. He shut the door and came outside.

"I don't want you to be forced to raise my child."

"I wouldn't be forced. I'd be happy to raise my niece or nephew."

"I don't know what I'm doing yet. Maybe I'll end up loving my child."

"I like to believe that you will," Emily offered.

"I put Spencer to bed. Mom wants you to come back inside."

I stood up and followed Nikolas and Emily inside. My mother was sitting back on the couch. Lucky was sitting beside her. She was laughing at whatever he was telling her. It was so hard to be there and pretend to be happy, while inside I felt like I was dying.

My mother's lapses were happening more and more often. Finally she requested a doctor to come and visit her. She wanted to know how much time she had left.

Patrick Drake came and took my mother upstairs to check her out. When Patrick and my mother returned, Elizabeth and Emily opted to check on the kids upstairs to give us a moment. Patrick gave us her diagnosis and then left. My mother told us that she believed it was time to go back to Shadybrook. She told us that her time was just slipping away too quickly. This however, hit me like a thousand knives. Pain spread through my body and I feared I was going to hurt the baby. For some reason, my instant reaction was anger. My mother tried to comfort me but I didn't want to hear it, I needed her to be okay. I asked her why we weren't worth fighting for, which finally led my father to yell at me to stop.

My mother told me I had a right to be angry and Lucky begged her to stay one more night. She told us it was happening too fast and it was time she returned to the hospital where she would return to her rocking chair and I would return to life without my mother. She told us the only courageous thing she could do was face what was happening to her with dignity by being able to sign herself in. My stomach rolled with nausea and I feared any moment I was going to start cramping and lose my baby too.

My father took my mother while Nikolas, Lucky and I went together. Not before Lucky wrapped his arms around me. "I know this hurts Lulu, but we're going to get through it."

"What if I lose the baby?"

"You're going to be okay," Nikolas offered. "Don't worry about the baby right now. Just worry about you."

"I need Mom. I need her."

"I know, but we can't keep her here. There isn't anything we can do," Lucky said softly.

Nikolas wrapped me in an embrace too and the three of us just held one another for a moment, attempting to gather strength for the hardest thing we were about to face.

Before we left, Nikolas ran upstairs and warned Emily and Elizabeth that we had to leave.

We arrived at Shadybrook and my father brought her back long enough for us all to say goodbye. My mother asked for Nikolas first, then Lucky and then me.

As I entered the room, the familiar scent further upset my stomach. "Mom," I whispered, as I approached her.

She shook her head. "I'm not slipping. I'm not. I'm okay," she tried to assure me.

"I'm scared. I don't want to lose you," I cried.

"I know honey. It's going to be all right," she whispered softly. Her voice wrapped around me like a comforting embrace.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you. I was so wrong."

"That's okay. I'm sure that everybody tells you that you look like me. Although I'm sure I was never as beautiful."

"You are still the most beautiful woman in the world, Mom."

She smiled. "When I look at you, I see your father, smart, feisty, resourceful, rebellious, ready to take risks but Lulu, you are always protecting your heart."

"It's gotten me into a lot of messes," I said, absently placing my hand against my abdomen.

"I'm glad you know that about yourself."

"There have been so many times that I need to talk to you, where if I could just get your advice, I know that everything would be okay."

"You got shortchanged Lulu. I'm sorry, but you are a survivor. You are. So believe in yourself and Lulu, this is important, when the time comes for you to fall in love, don't be afraid. You go for it."

"I'll try," I cried, my mind instantly flashing to Dillon holding me in his arms as we danced at my mother's wedding. I feared I would never get over him.

She smiled again. "This baby is going to change you…" she started. "You are about to find out what love really means. I wish I could be there, but you will see what it means to love with every bit of your heart. When you find that, when you see your child for the first time, I want you to know that is how I feel about you and always will."

She looked slightly distant for a moment. I carefully called her back. She looked at me again and slowly told me that she was trying to decide something. I asked her what and gently she told me that she believed that she was innocent. I promised her that I would prove her innocence and finally I felt like I had some sort of purpose, like I could provide my mother with something in her life.

She smiled one last time and then whispered that she loved me. I tenderly stood up and made my way the door, watching my mother one last time before she would slip back inside herself.

Lucky was already gone. Nikolas explained that he needed some time. He offered to take me anywhere, but the only place I wanted to go was back to my grandmothers so I could relive the last few moments I had spent with my mother.

XXXXX

I stared at the Christmas tree, my eyes affixed upon the angel at the top. The angel, the nick name my father gave my mother. For she was his angel, she was an angel to all of us. In the last few weeks she made an attempt to help us fix our lives and become better people. She had done everything she could to bring us a little bit of joy, even if it didn't last.

A knock on the door, pulled me from my thoughts. I stood up slowly and took one last glance at the glistening angel before turning to answer the door.

"Dillon, what's up? Come in." He squeezed past me and came inside. Then he turned to look at me.

"I… um… Nikolas told us… uh… about your Mom. I just wanted to say I'm so sorry."

"Well my Mom was very brave. I totally lost it, of course and I flipped out and had some tantrum like a five year old. God forbid I make things any easier for anyone."

"Lulu, I think you get to be upset about the fact that your Mom is fading and there isn't anything you can do about it."

My gaze met his and without warning I collapsed into a heap of sobs. Dillon caught me and pulled me against him. He lifted me and carried me to the sofa, where I sobbed uncontrollably against his chest. "It hurts Dillon."

"I know Lulu. I know it does."

"I wanted my mom to meet our baby."

"I know." I snuggled into him, looking for the comfort that only he could provide. Dillon started rocking us back and forth.

It felt as though hours had passed before I finally stopped crying. Dillon wiped the moisture from my face. "I'll take you to bed," he whispered. He lifted me and carried me upstairs to my old bedroom. The one I thought was mine again, in the home where my mother would be with me.

Dillon set me down gently onto the mattress. "Dillon," I whimpered.

"Yes," he said gently.

"Please don't leave me."

"I won't," he said. I felt the mattress move under his weight. He pulled me against him and wrapped his arm around my expanding stomach to hold the baby. This was probably the only time we'd ever sleep together as a family.


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with General Hospital.**

**A/N: Thank you all for your kind reviews. I really appreciate them. I love this story. It's been very cathartic to write and I am glad so many people are enjoying it. **

To Choose Life

Chapter 14

When I opened my eyes, it was morning. I looked down at the arm still wrapped around me. I felt Dillon move and rolled over to look at him. "How are you feeling?" he asked with concern.

"Numb," I admitted. "Very numb. I keep expecting my mother to just walk in and say 'just kidding, I'm not back at Shady Brook'."

He brushed a strand of hair from my face. "I'm so sorry."

"I'm scared Dillon. I'm so scared. What if I can't handle this? What if it's too much stress for the baby?"

"Let's just take it one day at a time," he offered.

"I was looking so forward to having my mother meet our baby and having her help us bring our child home from the hospital. I feel so alone."

"You're not alone. You are surrounded by people that love you."

"Who the hell is that?"

"Nikolas, Emily, Lucky, Elizabeth, Carly, Bobbie, Lesley, even your father." I noticed how he didn't mention himself and the truth in that stung. I pretended not to notice.

"My family only cares out of moral obligation. I'm an inconvenience; the accident that tore my parents apart."

"You are not responsible for anything that transpired between your parents."

"Then why do I feel like I'm to blame?"

"Well you're not."

I got up off of the bed and made my way to the window, as I wrapped my arms around myself feeling cold from the lack of Dillon's body heat. The sunlight danced across the property. I couldn't tear my gaze away. "I wanted to believe that I could be a good mother. The only reason that I started to feel okay about everything was because I had my mother back."

"You're going to get through this. I know you will. You're stronger then you realize."

"Well maybe this time I don't want to be strong."

Dillon came to me and put his hands on my shoulders. "Lulu, you don't have to face this alone..."

"Of course I do. I always end up having to face everything alone."

"Well this time you don't have to."

"My brothers have enough to deal with. They don't need to carry me through it too."

Dillon spun me around so that my eyes met his. "I will be here for you as long as you need me."

"I don't want you to feel responsible for me. I'm not your child."

"No, but you're pregnant with my child."

"So what? That doesn't make you responsible for me."

Dillon's cell phone started ringing. "Go ahead," I said coldly. He flipped it open.

"Yeah… Georgie hi… No I wasn't home last night. I stayed with a friend… Kelly's? Yeah I'll meet you there. Give me about half an hour."

He hung up his phone and met my gaze. "Lulu…"

"Don't Dillon… Go be with Georgie."

"Lulu, please don't shut me out. I want to be here for you."

"No, you feel obligated to be here for me. Just admit it Dillon. You don't love me. You love her. I don't want to be everyone's obligation," I shouted before I ran down the hall and into the bathroom. I locked myself inside and sunk onto the floor, as I was overcome with heavy sobs.

I heard Dillon sigh outside the door. "Please Lulu, don't shut me out. I know you're in pain, but cutting everyone, that cares about you, out of your life isn't going to make it any easier to deal with."

"I'm not cutting out people that care about me. Just people that don't. That includes you."

"Why are you so set on assuming that everyone hates you?"

"Because I see the truth. I know when I'm not wanted."

"No, you see what you think is the truth. You close yourself off from fear of being hurt and abandoned again."

"Was I asleep when you became a licensed psychologist?"

"It doesn't take a psychologist to understand you. Come with me to Kelly's…"

"How about NO…"

"I don't want to leave you alone…"

"Don't worry, I'm used to it. I won't hold it against you."

"Please don't do this. You mean a lot to me and I want to know you're okay."

"Well I'm not okay. I'm never going to be okay. I have lost the only person in this world that I want to be there for me. I have lost my mother, Dillon. You don't understand the debilitating pain that puts me in. I feel lost, alone and abandoned. Nothing you do, or say, is going to bring her back or take away my pain. Just go and leave me to grieve for my mother."

I heard him sigh again. "I know you're in pain but I am not going to leave you alone to grieve. Please open the door and talk to me. Please?" The desperation in his voice almost sent me over the edge again, but I chose to ignore it. I listened to him stand outside my door. I waited silently until I heard him sigh again. Then finally, I got what I wanted, or at least said I wanted.

"All right, fine. You win… I'll leave you alone but I'll be back in a few hours to check on you."

I didn't say anything to him. I heard his footsteps as he walked away and finally breathed a sigh of relief. That sigh turned to tears and I broke down again as I sat on the bathroom floor.

When I felt that I couldn't cry any more. I got up off of the floor and dragged myself down the steps to the living room. The angel caught my eye again. I stared at it. "I want my Mom…" I screamed into the empty house. I became enraged. My temples throbbed. The door opened and Carly stood in the entrance. Her face was soft and she looked at me with concern.

"How are you doing?"

"I want my mom," were the only words I could muster.

"I know," Carly said, as she moved closer towards me. "I'm so sorry."

"Why can't one thing go right in my life? I waited four years for my mother and now she's gone again. How do I move on this time?"

"I don't know. I honestly don't. I can't take away your pain. I can only be here for you and try to help you through it."

"I don't want you to feel obligated."

"I don't. Lulu, you're like the little sister I never had. You are honestly the sister I dreamed about having growing up. I want to be here for you."

"Are you sure? I'll understand…"

"Hey, I want to be here. I swear."

I nodded and turned my tear stained face back to the Christmas tree. "Let me take you out of here," Carly offered.

"Where do you want to go?"

"I'm going to take you somewhere that you can relax."

"Can I change first?"

"Of course. I'll wait for you down here."

I nodded and ran upstairs to change. I stopped in front of the mirror and stared at my reflection. Two dark circles hugged the underbelly of my eyes. Red rims surrounded the skin around each eye. My face was abnormally pale. I looked sickly. I barely recognized myself. I looked broken, which matched my world. I didn't want to cry anymore. I was so tired of crying. "I'm sorry Baby," I whispered. "I am so sorry. I don't know how to be your mom without your grandmother's help. I want to love you, but I'm terrified. I want you to have a better childhood then I did. How can I give that to you when I'm just as likely to break as my mother?"

I changed my clothes and then went into the bathroom and washed my tear stained face. I masked my face with make up and then returned downstairs.

Carly stood up and opened the front door. "Ready?"

I nodded again and followed her outside. The weather was abnormally warm. I climbed into Carly's car. "So where are we going?"

"New York City. We are spending the day there. We're going to the spa and we're going to see a movie. We're going to eat really expensive food and ice cream. We're just going to forget, for one day, everything we hate about Port Charles."

"That sounds amazing," I admitted.

"I figured."

We arrived at the train station and bought our tickets. For once, I hoped to forget about this pregnancy, my mother, Dillon, everything. For once, I wanted to just live for me.

XXXXX

The train stopped in the bustling metropolis that was New York City. I followed Carly onto the platform and into a waiting limo. "Where did you get a limo?"

"Sonny owed me a favour."

"Must have been a big favour."

"You have no idea."

The day passed by quickly. We spent hours at the spa, getting pampered with massages, pedicures, manicures, facials, etc. It was almost enough to relax the pain, but not enough to ease the tense ache that had settled in my chest. We went out for an incredible dinner and then ate ice cream before going to see a movie. It was one of the best days of my life. I only wished I had been able to share it with my mother.

We boarded the train that night, though I really never wanted to return to Port Charles. I was so tired of Port Charles and all of the people in it.

XXXXX

Carly and I arrived back at her place. It was almost midnight. Carly's phone started ringing. "Who would call me this late?" Carly muttered.

She answered the phone and within moments handed it to me. "Hello…" I said in confusion.

"Where the hell were you?"

"Hi Dillon, it's nice to talk to you too."

"Where were you? I was worried sick."

"I was out with Carly."

"Why didn't you have your cell phone with you?"

"I forgot it."

"Lulu, I thought something really bad had happened."

"You thought I hurt myself, didn't you? You did. Thanks for the vote of confidence Dillon."

"I was just worried Lulu. I know you're in a lot of pain."

"Well I don't plan on hurting myself or our child, but I'm glad you have so much faith in me."

"It's not that. I can't help worrying about you. I don't like to see you in so much pain."

"Well I can't stop being in pain, but I'm trying my best to stay relaxed for the baby."

"Good, so what did you do all day?"

"Carly took me into New York City. We went to the spa, out to the movies, we went out for dinner. She just distracted me."

"That sounds nice. Did you hear about Diego?"

"What about Diego?"

"He was killed in a mob shooting."

"What?" I exclaimed, my mind flashing to images of my partner in crime. "Are you sure?"

"He was killed my Sam McCall."

"Why would Sam McCall have anything to do with Diego?"

"He was taking over his rightful place in his father's business."

"That's so horrible. How did Georgie take the news?"

"I wouldn't know. She's not talking to me."

"What do you mean she's not talking to you?"

"When she found out where I was last night…"

"You told her you were in bed with me all night?"

"I was trying to be honest."

"Wow, you don't understand women at all. I'll talk to her."

"I don't think she's going to want to talk to you either."

"Well, I'll tell her the truth and maybe she'll realize I'm not trying to steal you away."

"You really don't have to do that. I know you don't like to get involved. Don't worry about it, Georgie will get over it."

"Dillon, you have bent over backwards to help me out. It's the least I can do."

"Thank you Lulu."

"You're welcome."

"Lulu, I'm heading off to bed," Carly said gently. "Call me if you need anything."

"Of course, thank you so much for today," I answered.

"Anytime. I meant what I said about you being like a sister. Have a good sleep Lulu."

"You too."

I turned my attention back to my conversation with Dillon. "So what exactly did you say to Georgie, so I know what I'm getting into?"

"I told her that your mother relapsed. She said that was awful. I explained that I went to see you, you were upset so I spent the night with you."

"That's it?"

"She asked if we slept in the same bed and I nodded."

"Oh Dillon, you should have lied. I would have kept the lie for you."

"What's the point? If she can't respect our friendship then that is her problem."

"You don't have to ruin your relationship with Georgie over our friendship."

"Lulu, stop. I am serious. Your friendship means a lot to me and Georgie is just going to have to accept that. All right?"

"All right."

"So what movie did you see?" Dillon asked, his tone suddenly so excited.

I told him all about it and he asked about the camera angles and acting. It was so nice to listen to his excitement over a movie again.

We ended up talking late into the night. It was well after three in the morning before I said I should head to bed. He agreed and we said good night.


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with General Hospital.**

**A/N: I have been going through all of the things Lulu has faced since the abortion and deciding what to include in this story. The more I think about it, the more I realize maybe it's good she had the abortion because I don't think her pregnancy would have survived all of the stress she has been through: her mother's relapse, being kidnapped by Alcazar, having to go across the country with Jason to find Spinelli and fearing for her life, trying to prove her mother's innocence, her nephew being kidnapped, being held hostage by a sociopath who enjoys nothing more than tormenting his captive's psyches. How does one endure that much stress when they're not pregnant? Anyway, on another note, did everyone see Spinelli's fantasy? How funny was that? It reminded me of Max's fantasy about Carly. I love his little crush but it better not turn into anything more. I don't really feel up to watching Spinelli and Lulu in a relationship. I'd rather they were just friends. Come on writers bring on Dilu, please. I am also saddened to say, that my two favourite Dilu videos were removed from you tube. They were such a source of inspiration. Anyway, on with the story…**

To Choose Life

Chapter 15

The afternoon sunlight spilled through the curtains, as I opened my eyes. It was almost 12:30. "Guess I was tired, eh baby?" I muttered, as I climbed out of bed and went into the washroom to change. I was surprised Carly hadn't woken me.

I went downstairs and found a note she'd left for me. She was at the Metro Court. I figured I'd go by there and have her give me something to do, right after I talked to Georgie.

I ate a muffin, an apple and drank some orange juice. It was so nice to not be nauseous when I woke up.

I arrived at Kelly's and went inside. "Hey Mike, what time does Georgie come in?"

"She should be in at 2:00."

I glanced at my watch. I had another twenty minutes. "Did you want to wait?" he asked gently.

"Sure, can I get a green tea?"

"Of course."

He handed me the steaming cup. "Lulu…"

I turned around and met Elizabeth's gaze. "I'm so sorry about your Mom."

"Thank you," I said, with a gentle smile. "I am too, but we're all just trying to get through it as best we can."

"Well, you also have the baby to worry about. I just wanted to make sure you didn't want to talk."

"Well I can talk if you have time, but don't feel obligated."

"I'd never feel obligated to talk to you," Elizabeth said, as she climbed into the seat next to me. "I love talking to you."

"So have you seen Lucky since Mom's relapse?"

"I have. He spent Thanksgiving with Grams, Cameron and I."

"That's nice. How's he doing?"

"Considerably well. I'm not sure it's sunk in yet."

"Do you think he'll be able to resist pills?"

"I don't know. It's a daily battle for him, but all we can do is have faith and support him as best we can."

"I know. I just can't help worrying about him."

"You don't need to worry about him. He wouldn't want that. Just worry about you and this baby."

"I'm trying. Have you heard from Nikolas?"

"No. I haven't spoken to him since we were all at your Grandmother's."

"I hope he's okay."

"Nikolas is strong. He'll get through this. I actually have to get back to the hospital, but if you ever need to talk, call me, okay?"

"Okay, thanks Elizabeth."

I went back to sipping on my hot tea when the bell over the door jangled and Georgie entered the building. "Georgie can I talk to you?"

"What?" she spat viciously. "I just want to do my job. I don't want to talk about you sleeping with my boyfriend."

"I know, but you need to understand, nothing happened between Dillon and I. He was just trying to calm me down."

"Lulu, I don't want to do this right now. Dillon will always choose you."

"What are talking about? He didn't choose me. He's never chosen me. He was worried about the baby. Do you understand how upset I was?"

"I get that Lulu, but he didn't have to spend the night in bed with you."

"Nothing happened. We slept. I just needed someone there for me."

"He could have been there for you, without actually being in bed with you."

"Georgie you are blowing this out of proportion."

"No Lulu, no I'm not. Dillon chose to get into that bed with you, instead of thinking about us. You will always come first."

"That is not true."

"Yes it is."

I pressed my hands into my temples when Georgie's professor came in. "Ms. Jones, your paper was excellent," he said to her, as he sat down and ordered coffee. She turned her attention from me.

When Georgie had left, to look after other customers, her professor, the same one that had signed me out of classes, turned to me. "Do you regret not getting an education yet?"

"Not at all."

"It must be nice to have a rich family to look after you so that you don't have to do anything with your life."

"You don't know anything about my life."

"I can figure you out."

"I'll bet you think you can. You would however, be completely wrong."

"I doubt it. You're afraid to take chances. You're closed off from everyone around you. You're paying the price for some mistakes you've made in the past, that have made you extra cautious."

"Thanks for the psychoanalysis, but I really don't need you to tell me about myself."

"Just trying to help," he offered snidely before getting up and leaving.

His attitude just grated on my nerves. I tossed some money on the counter and ran out after him. There were two men standing on either side of him. "Hey, you don't get to talk to me like that and then just leave," I spat. "Is everything okay?" I muttered looking at the two big men.

"I'm sorry, look, here's the extra credit assignment. Do that and then we'll talk about your grade," he said, pushing a textbook into my hands.

I took it before he and the men left. I opened it up and found a cell phone with a text message asking for help. The next one gave me a location and a request for potato chips. I figured I had nothing better to do but investigate this.

Of course, Dillon arrived just as I was about to leave. "Hey did you talk to Georgie?"

"Yeah, I did."

"And?"

"She thinks you always choose me over her. I couldn't convince her otherwise. I'm really sorry."

"Don't apologize for her. Do you want to get a drink?"

"Can I take a rain check? I have somewhere to be."

"Yes of course. I'll talk to you later."

I waved goodbye to him before running off in search of this person who required my help. I purchased potato chips and then went into the building, where I was grabbed from behind. "Who are you?" a voice asked with terror.

"Who are you?" I spat, as I pulled away.

"Spinelli. Professor Marquez sent you?"

"He didn't really have a choice. What is it you need help with?"

"Crazy Al is after me because I helped him make a flash drive, to frame the Goddess, but I didn't know it was to frame the Goddess and now he's after me because I can put him away…" his frantic words jumbled together, but I'm pretty sure I heard what he said.

"Whoa, slow down. I don't know Crazy Al. I don't know the Goddess, but why don't you just go the cops?"

"No way, Crazy Al's men will take me out as soon as they see me."

"Don't be ridiculous. Come on, this is real life, not a video game." I pulled on his arm and was met with little resistance. We pushed open the door and were grabbed by two big burly men. I had no time to even struggle before we were tossed into a van.

XXXXX

The men placed us inside an old warehouse. "What are you doing?" I shouted at the man holding me.

He ignored me and locked us inside. "What did you get me into?" I yelled at the guy that called himself Spinelli.

"I'm sorry Blonde One, I didn't mean for this to happen."

"Who is holding us?"

"Crazy Al's men."

"Who is Crazy Al?" I screamed.

"You know, Alcazar."

"We're being held by Alcazar's men?"

"Yes Blonde One, that is what I'm telling you."

"Well that's okay. He won't hurt me. The mother of his child would never let him. See Skye and my father had this thing…"

"From what I've seen, I don't think Alcazar cares too much about people the mother of his child has been with. She won't even know you were here, once we disappear."

"He's not going to kill me," I attempted to rationalize.

"Are you really that oblivious?" Spinelli asked.

"What kind of person can hurt a pregnant woman?"

"You're pregnant?" Spinelli asked, as if it was the most shocking thing he'd ever heard. "Why would you do that to your body?"

"I didn't plan on getting pregnant," I spat viciously.

Before Spinelli said anything else the door opened and Alcazar came inside. He tried to assure us that everything was fine, but as soon as he was gone, Spinelli wired the intercom so we could hear him tell his men to kill us. I felt like my world was falling apart one more time.

A few hours after hearing the news that we were going to die and getting to know Spinelli, the men appeared with a bottle of liquor. They pushed it into my hands. "Drink this," they ordered.

"I can't, I'm pregnant," I said, tearfully, as if this would change their mind.

"I don't care. Drink it…"

"It'll hurt the baby," I cried. "I can't drink."

"DRINK IT OR WE WILL KILL HIM," they said, as they pressed a gun against Spinelli's head.

"Do you really think your boss will want you to hurt his grandchild? The father of this baby is Diego Alcazar," I shouted. Both men turned and looked at one another and then they left.

"Your child is Crazy Al's grandkid?"

"No, but I had to save your life somehow."

It was less then twenty minutes before our next interruption. This time a repeat visit with Alcazar. "You're pregnant with my grandchild?" he asked, as soon as he came inside.

I nodded. "Diego is the father of this child."

"I thought Dillon Quartermaine was the father."

"That was a smokescreen," I lied. "Diego and I slept together during the summer. I got pregnant. This is his child. Dillon just agreed to help me cover it up."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Look at how Diego just died. I didn't want that for my child. I wanted to keep my child safe."

"This child is Diego's. He is an Alcazar. You had no right to hide that."

"Well it's out now."

"Yeah and Diego is dead. He'll never even know he was going to be a father."

"That wouldn't have kept him alive. You chose to make him part of your life and your responsible for his death."

He grabbed my arm fiercely and pulled me toward the door. "Don't hurt the Pregnant One," Spinelli shouted.

"Would Diego really want the mother of his child handled this way?" I asked, my voice as vicious as his touch. He let me go and slammed the door. As soon as he was gone, I got up and sat down on a box nearby as I started to cry. I suddenly wished I'd gone for the drink with Dillon. Spinelli made an attempt to cheer me up.

It was many more hours before we heard sound outside the door. I lifted something heavy and prepared to hit the goon over the head. I did and struck Jason, knocking him unconscious. Spinelli ran off, but I couldn't leave Jason behind.

As Jason came to, I helped him up and together we ventured to the door. We had just emerged from the room when Alcazar's men appeared, guns in hand. They forced us back inside.

"Are you okay?" Jason asked.

"What's okay? I am supposed to minimize my stress for this baby and this is making that impossible."

"Well just stay calm. We're going to get out of this. I promise."

I started to cry again and broke down on the floor. Jason just let me cry for a while, before he said anything. "You remind me a lot of Carly," he said gently.

"Really?"

"You look like her. She could be your sister."

"Sometimes I wish she were. It would make losing my mother easier."

"What happened to your mother?"

"She relapsed. Big surprise, my father hid from us that her treatment was only temporary."

"I'm sorry," he said absently, as if that was the only thing to say.

"Did you know my Mom?"

"Not well. I'm sure I knew her growing up before I lost my memory."

I nodded. "I wish I could lose my memory."

"No you don't. Losing your identity; feeling isolated from everyone. It's not pleasant."

"I'm isolated as it is. People feel obligated to be there for me. I have no real friends. My family doesn't really want to be there but they have to be. Dillon is only there because he got me pregnant."

"You are pregnant with Dillon's child?"

"Yeah, but don't tell Alcazar. I lied and told him this is Diego's child so he wouldn't kill me."

Jason's eyebrows raised. "That was actually a nice move."

"I didn't want them to kill Spinelli."

"I don't want to risk the baby, but I need your help getting out of here. Are you up to it?" he asked cautiously.

"Well what are my options?"

Jason nodded in agreement. "All right, I'm going to distract them and I want you to run as fast as you possibly can, okay? Try and reach the pier."

We heard a commotion and the door opened. Sonny, and his two bodyguards stood on the other side. "Never mind," Jason muttered.

We made our way towards them. "Where's Spinelli?" Sonny asked.

"He took off when I got here. Lulu and I weren't able to get out."

Sonny nodded. "Well let's get out of here."

I backed up into one of the bodyguards. "Sorry," I muttered and turned to see him smiling at me. "What?" I asked, visibly shaken from the ordeal.

"Milo, go help your brother," Sonny ordered, before he and Jason led me out of the warehouse.

"We have to find Spinelli," Jason said. He and Sonny discussed it, while I tried to nap.

When I opened my eyes we were at Sonny's. They led me inside and I sat down on the couch. "So we were hoping, you wouldn't mind going on a trip with Jason," Sonny said gently.

"A trip where?" I asked, feeling exhausted.

"He needs help finding Spinelli. Did he tell you anything?"

"He showed me a picture of his Grandmother's in Tennessee."

"Could you please go with him?" Sonny asked.

"I run a real risk of losing this child, Sonny. I really shouldn't be under any more stress..."

"It might be less stressful to get out of town and clear your head."

"Listen, you wouldn't be able to leave here anyway," Jason agreed.

"Why not?"

"Alcazar's going to be gunning for you," Sonny said.

"He's not going to hurt me. He thinks I'm carrying his grandchild," I offered.

"Why does he think that?" Sonny asked.

"Because I told him that."

"Is it true?"

"No this child is a Quartermaine. Dillon is the father. He is going to know I'm missing."

"We'll clear that up with him. Listen you saw the trouble that Alcazar caused, when looking for Skye. If he thinks this child is his grandchild, he is going to be after you."

"I don't know Sonny."

"I know it's inconvenient."

"All right, but you're going to have to come up with a good excuse," I finally agreed, maybe a few days free of Port Charles would be harmless.

"Sonny," Carly called as she came inside. "Lulu what are you doing here?"

Sonny relayed the tale of my kidnapping. He explained that he and Jason needed to take me out of town for a couple of days. Carly frowned. "I don't know Sonny. She is pregnant. She needs to relax."

"What would be more relaxing than getting out of Port Charles?"

"And outrunning Alcazar's men."

"Jason will take care of her."

Jason nodded. "I won't let anything happen to her or her child."

Carly met my gaze and then her frown grew larger. "You better keep her and this baby very safe Jason. I am trusting you. If anything happens to Lulu or she miscarries it is on your head."

"I know," Jason said. "But I want to clear Sam's name."

"At what price?"

"I swear Carly, nothing will happen to Lulu or the child."

"It's up to you," Carly said to me. "You reserve the right to make this choice."

"I'll go, but no stress. I want a very relaxing drive. I also want lots of ice cream and one other thing. Sonny can I talk to you alone?"

He nodded and led me away from the group. I explained the situation about proving my mother's innocence and he agreed to help in exchange for my helping Jason. It was all settled and we prepared to leave the next morning.


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with General Hospital.**

**A/N: Do I even have to tell you my favourite part of today's episode? "I can't imagine my life without her in it." Best line ever!**

To Choose Life

Chapter 16

The beginning of my trip with Jason was uneventful. I did a lot of sleeping in the car and he even let me drive. We arrived in Oakfield Tennessee and found his Grandmother's rather quickly. "Don't worry; I have a plan," I offered.

"What is that?" he asked, skeptically.

"Just follow along," I ordered, before climbing out of the car and making my way up to the door. I knocked and someone answered within minutes. She was an older lady.

"What can I do for you?" she asked gently.

"Is Damien here? There is something we need to talk about?"

Her eyes traveled to my stomach and then bulged out of her head. "He's actually out right now, but come in dear. Make yourself comfortable. Who is this?" she asked, pointing at Jason.

"He's my brother. He drove me here."

"Nice to meet you," the lady said, holding out her hand. She started talking about how wonderful it was that I was taking responsibility for getting pregnant. I just half listened and wondered if Dillon had bought my lie that Carly had paid for me to get out of town for a few days. He had been worried of course, but I assured him I was fine.

Suddenly Spinelli appeared and Jason grabbed him before he could run. "How dare you abandon the girl you got pregnant?" his grandmother shouted at him.

"It's okay," I said, trying to calm her down.

"No it's not okay. Damien you…"

"He's not the father," I said, feeling bad for the look of terror on his face.

"What?" his grandmother said to me.

"He's just a friend."

Within minutes Jason had convinced Spinelli to return to Port Charles with us. Alcazar's men had of course arrived and it took us a few minutes to escape into Jason's vehicle. Then we started driving and I pretended everything was okay, so that I wouldn't feel stressed. It took a while for Jason to lose them, but I made an attempt to sleep.

XXXXX

I awoke in Port Charles. We went straight to the Metro Court and Carly came up to see us. She asked me how I was feeling and Jason insisted that I stay with Carly until they had turned themselves in. I tried to protest but both agreed I was better off there.

Carly and I discussed the trip and she made sure I was feeling okay with the pregnancy. I assured her I was fine. We moved onto the topic of men and she complained about Sonny, while I complained about Dillon.

Carly's cell phone started ringing and she told me she had to go. I took that opportunity to leave the Metro Court and went straight to the police station, careful to avoid my brother.

I went into the room where Spinelli was being held and demanded he help me with Rick Webber's murder. I wanted to prove my mother's innocence once and for all. He agreed and then I slipped from the room and waited for him to be released. Jason agreed that Spinelli could stay with him and Sam, since his life was still in danger.

Spinelli and I decided to go to Kelly's for a drink. We arrived and Dillon showed up only moment's later. He came to me. "How was your trip? Did you do anything fun?"

"It was very relaxing," I said elusively.

"What did you do?"

"What are you talking about pregnant one? You were kidnapped."

"KIDNAPPED?" Dillon exclaimed.

"Shh," I muttered. "It's not a big deal."

"Not a big deal?"

"It was a misunderstanding. I'll tell you all about it later."

"Lulu," Alcazar's angry voice filled the air. "We need to discuss my grandchild."

"You don't have a grandchild…" I muttered.

"You are carrying Diego's child," he said angrily.

"No she's not," Dillon said defensively. "That child is 100 mine."

"Don't lie to me. I have rights to see my grandchild."

"She's not pregnant with your grandchild," Dillon spat.

"You stay out of this Quartermaine. This is between Lulu and I. Lulu I would like to speak to you outside."

"I lied. I am pregnant with Dillon's child. Not Diego's."

"You're just saying that to protect yourself. Even Spinelli knows this child is my grandchild."

Spinelli stayed quiet. "Believe me, this child is Dillon's," I muttered.

"I want a blood test," he said viciously. "We're going to the hospital right now."

"She's not going anywhere with you," Dillon said, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling my body against his. I felt so safe wrapped in his arms. The pressure of his arm holding my body to his reminded me of the nights we spent together with our flesh pressed against one another.

"She lied to you Dillon. This child is Diego's," Alcazar said tersely.

"That's not possible. I never slept with Diego, but if you like, I could venture over to the police station and tell my brother Lucky about you holding me captive with Spinelli. He's a good witness," I threatened.

"I'm not going to go away," he threatened, before turning and walking away. I turned my face to Dillon, ashamed at the tears that slid down my cheeks.

"Spinelli, I need to speak to Lulu alone for a minute, so if you could excuse us," Dillon said, as he pulled on my arm and led me outside.

"Tell me everything," Dillon insisted, as soon as we reached the courtyard.

I told Dillon my tale of being kidnapped for helping Spinelli, my lies to Alcazar, my trip with Jason, and Spinelli agreeing to help me with proving my mother's innocence, and then I broke down. Dillon wrapped his arms around me. "I'm so sorry that this happened to you. You need to protect yourself from Alcazar. Come stay with me at the Quartermaines," he begged.

"I'll stay with Carly."

"Carly has a lot going on. I need to know you're safe Lulu."

"I could stay with Nikolas."

"Lulu please? Just until this situation is resolved."

"I don't know Dillon. I don't want your family to start trying to control me again."

"They won't. They'll leave you alone. I just can't sleep unless I know you're safe."

My eyes met his and they filled with tears again. "I'm sorry that I'm so emotional," I said gently.

"It's okay. I'm just glad you're safe."

He pulled me into an embrace one more time before leading us back inside. "Okay Pregnant One, I'm in," Spinelli said, as Dillon and I sat down at his table.

"In what?" Dillon asked.

"The PCPD files."

"What?!" Dillon exclaimed.

"Dillon calm down," I tried to assure him. "We need to do this."

He looked perplexed but within moments got into it and asked Spinelli to open the autopsy files. Of course, Dillon wouldn't let me look. "We need to examine the crime scene," he said.

Spinelli and I agreed. "Can you get in there?" I asked Dillon.

"Of course," he said, as the three of us set off to Mac Scorpio's attic.

XXXXX

We made our way inside the attic and Spinelli rebooted his lap top. I was filled with an overwhelming sense of despair in this room. This room was the place where my whole world changed and my life fell apart. "Are you okay?" Dillon asked with concern.

"What happened in here changed everything; my life."

"I know," Dillon offered pressing his hand against my arm.

"I'm in," Spinelli exclaimed again.

He helped Dillon and I recreate the crime scene. Dillon and I then prepared to recreate the crime. Spinelli ran to the washroom, while Dillon and I acted out how my mother would have killed Rick. We did it over and over, faster and faster, until the last time, I ended up in his arms, just as Georgie walked in the room.

"Georgie, nothing is going on…" Dillon started.

"Are you comforting her again Dillon?" Georgie spat coldly.

"He's just helping me investigate Rick Webber's murder," I tried to defend him.

"Why?"

"I want to prove my mother is innocent."

Georgie turned her attention to Dillon and glared at him. "Nothing is going on," he insisted.

"Something is always going on with the two of you. It will only be a matter of time before you end up kissing and then only a little longer until you start having sex."

"That is ridiculous," I said. "I'm not trying to take Dillon from you. He offered to help and we're not alone," I said, pointing at Spinelli, who had come in the room.

"You're kind of a third wheel," Spinelli said to Georgie.

"Thanks for pointing that out," Georgie responded viciously.

"Man, little sisters are such a drag," Spinelli muttered.

"No, no, no," I said. "Georgie is not Dillon's sister."

"Oh, she's your chick," Spinelli suddenly exclaimed, making me want to slug him.

"His chick?" Georgie growled.

"But Lulu, I thought you and Dillon were…" Spinelli started.

"That's enough," I interrupted.

"He got you pregnant. Aren't you like in love with…"

"Spinelli shut up," I ordered. "We need to give them a moment alone, so grab your computer and let's go."

I dragged Spinelli outside and we went back to Kelly's. Milo and Max showed up. "What's up boys?"

"Mr. Corinthos wants someone with you at all times. So he's paying Milo to be your bodyguard until everything with Alcazar is dealt with," Max explained.

"I don't need a body guard," I said. "Put one on Spinelli. I'll be fine."

"Mr. Corinthos was adamant."

"Well tell him I'm not interested. Sorry boys, but I don't need a babysitter."

"I can't do that," Milo said, as he sat down at our table.

"Look, I'll take the blood test. I'll get Dillon's DNA and prove Alcazar is not the father of this child. Dillon," I exclaimed, as soon as he entered the room. "Perfect timing, we're going to the hospital."

"Is everything okay?" he asked in a panic.

"Yes, but we're still going," I muttered, as Milo followed behind. "Spinelli, I'll see you later."

Dillon and I got into his car. "Are you going to tell me what is going on?" he asked.

"Yes. Sonny put one of his guards on me because of Alcazar. So I've agreed to prove that you're the father of this baby with a blood test so that he'll leave me alone and I won't feel like I'm being permanently stalked."

"I kind of agree with Sonny. I'd like to know you're safe."

"Dillon no. A bodyguard is out of the question."

We arrived at General Hospital and Dillon led me to the elevator while Milo followed a few feet behind.

I asked Dr. Lee if she could take me in and she agreed that she'd run a DNA test for Dillon. We had lied and told her that Dillon wanted to ensure he was the father. We followed her into an exam room. "Have you made an appointment for your next sonogram?"

"Yes, in January."

"Excellent," she said, as she did the blood test.

"How long will this take?"

"Probably about a week."

"A week?" I exclaimed.

"Is that a problem?"

"No," I muttered. "Guess I'm moving in with you," I mumbled to Dillon.

He smiled. "Living at the mansion is not the worst thing in the world."

"Speak for yourself."

Dillon laughed as he led me out of the hospital and back to his car. Milo was of course only a few feet behind. "I am going to kill Sonny for this."

"I'll bet it was Carly's idea," Dillon said.

"I'll bet it was," I agreed, as I mentally pictured strangling her.

Dillon helped me pack some stuff and take it back to the Quartermaines. I called Sonny and told him, so that he could call off Milo. He said I'd have to take it up with Carly. So I did. She said, she would allow Sonny to call him off, if I had a chaperone take me everywhere. I agreed, even though I'd rather have just shot myself in the face.

Edward was delighted when I came through the doors with luggage. "You're moving back in?"

"It's temporary."

"Things not working out at Carly's?" Tracy asked miserably.

"She's busy for a little while," I explained.

"What happened to your brother?" Tracy asked.

"Tracy, shut your big mouth. We don't want to chase her away," Edward ordered.

"Nikolas and Emily just reconciled and I don't feel up to being a third wheel."

"Well we are very glad you're back," Edward said gently. "If you need anything, you just let me know."

"I will," I said cheerfully. "Right now, I'd like to take a nap."

Dillon followed after me with my old luggage. I reentered my old room and fingered the bedspread. It was the same one that had been there when I'd gotten ready for my mother's wedding. I felt tears fill my eyes. I dropped onto the bed and sobbed.

"Lulu what's wrong?" Dillon asked as he sat down beside me. "Do you really hate it here that much?"

I shook my head and leaned into his shoulder. "The… the last t… time I was here, was for my parent's… wedding," I cried.

"I'm sorry. Do you want a different room?" he asked gently.

"It's not the room. It's just all the memories of losing my Mom."

He rubbed his hand up and down my back and I absorbed his touch. It was such a comforting gesture, especially from him. "I wish I could make this all less painful for you but I can't."

"I know. It would mean a lot if you would just sit with me for a while."

"Of course. I wouldn't mind at all." He pulled my body closer to his and together we sat for hours, talking about movies, cars, our families and anything else that crossed our mind. For that moment, everything felt exactly as it used to be and it made me love him so much more.


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with General Hospital.**

To Choose Life

Chapter 17

The week passed quickly, while I stayed at the Quartermaines. I worked everyday at the Metro Court, and after work Dillon, Spinelli and I would get together and work on investigating Rick Webber's murder. I didn't see Georgie once and I became slightly suspicious.

However, that suspicion was forgotten on the day Dillon announced we could finally pick up our paternity test results, something he said too loudly and was of course overheard by Tracy, who demanded she speak to us immediately. "What's going on?" she ordered.

"It's nothing," Dillon insisted.

"Why is Lulu getting a paternity test done? Is there a chance you're not the father?" she asked Dillon.

"No," Dillon said. "I am this baby's father."

"Then why the paternity test?" she questioned us fiercely.

"Dillon wanted proof," I said meekly.

"Is that true?" Tracy asked Dillon. He nodded. "First of all, you two are the worst liars in the world, so tell me what is really going on."

"We told you," I said.

"Is Dillon lying for you? Whose baby is this really?" Tracy shouted, attracting Edward's attention.

"This child is not a Quartermaine?" Edward exclaimed, as he came into the room.

"This child is mine. 100 mine. I slept with Lulu. I impregnated Lulu. This child is a Quartermaine, so leave us alone," Dillon yelled.

"If you believed that, you wouldn't have asked for the paternity test. So Lulu, who else did you sleep with and whose child are you carrying?" Tracy asked.

"I slept with Dillon. This child is Dillon's. If you like, you can see the results."

"What aren't you telling us?" Tracy asked coldly.

"Okay look, Lulu got in over her head. She was being threatened by…"

"Dillon, shut up," I spat.

"Threatened by whom?" Edward asked.

"Look it's not important. The fact is, in order for her to get out of the situation, she used her pregnancy as leverage. Now this person believes this child is related to them and was trying to take it. Therefore, we had the paternity test done to prove I am the father," Dillon said, before pulling on my hand and leading me to the door.

"Not so fast," Tracy said. "Who was threatening Lulu? Was it Sonny Corinthos?"

"Why would Sonny threaten me?" I demanded. "He used to be really good friends with my father."

"Used to be," Tracy started. "Well who then? Alcazar?"

Our silence answered her question. "Alcazar threatened you?" Edward exclaimed. "He is going to pay for this."

"You don't understand. Sonny has dealt with it. He saved me and everything is fine. Once I prove Dillon is the father of my child it will all just go away."

"We're leaving," Dillon said, as he pushed me through the door and led me to the car.

XXXXX

We arrived at the hospital and went in search of Dr. Lee. Elizabeth was at the nurses' station. "Hey what are you guys doing here?" she asked gently.

"We're looking for Dr. Lee."

"Is everything okay?" she asked, with concern.

"Everything is fine. We just have some questions."

"Anything I can help you with?"

"I'd really rather talk to Dr. Lee," I insisted.

Elizabeth eyed us both suspiciously. "Okay, if I see her, I'll let her know you're looking for her."

"Thank you," I said, as Dillon followed me to the couch. "I just want this all to be over."

"It will be very soon," he said soothingly.

"Hey guys, I heard you were looking for me," Dr. Lee said gently.

"Yeah, are our results in?"

"Yes, just come with me to my office."

Dillon and I stood up and followed her to her office. She handed me the sealed envelope and I tore it open and looked down at mine and Dillon's names on the form, confirming us as the parents of my unborn child. For some reason seeing my name next to mother and his name next to father, gave me a sense of solace.

I handed Dillon the paper and he pretended to be overjoyed. Then we left the office and photocopied the results so his family could see them.

We left the hospital and went straight to Sonny's. "What can I do for you?" he asked, as we entered the room.

"Can I borrow Milo?" I asked gently.

"For what?"

"I have the paternity test results of the baby. I want to give them to Alcazar so he'll leave me alone."

"I don't think now is a good time for you to be visiting Alcazar. Give me the results and I'll make sure he sees them."

"I don't want him to think you're pushing an agenda or helping me in any way. I need him to believe these results are true."

"Well don't go to his house. You may never make it back out."

"Well what do you suggest?"

"I don't know. Meet him at Kelly's. Wait a while, but you're not going to his home."

I sighed. "I don't want to keep looking over my shoulder all of the time. I want him to leave me alone."

"You wouldn't have to if you kept Milo with you," Sonny insisted.

"I don't want a bodyguard. I want to show Alcazar these results and then wash my hands of this horrible situation and move on. All of this stress is going to hurt the baby."

"You're not going to his house. I'm sure you'll run into him somewhere," Sonny said.

"Fine," I muttered, as I dragged Dillon from the room.

"Well he's right," Dillon insisted. "We don't want to go to his home."

"Do you think Skye would let him hurt me?"

"What if Skye wasn't there?"

"Well where are we going to run into him?"

"I don't know, but we will."

Dillon took me for ice cream to cheer me up. He knew me way too well.

We arrived back at the Quartermaines and I dropped onto the couch. Tracy entered the room. "Well?"

I handed her the paper and she read it over. She sighed loudly and then set the paper down. "Oh well," she muttered as she left the room. I groaned in response.

Someone rang the doorbell and Alice announced that Alcazar was at the door. I jumped up off of the couch and ran to the door. Dillon could barely keep up.

"Lulu, are you responsible for my being summoned here?" he demanded.

"Here, this is proof that Dillon is the father," I said, pushing the original copy into his hands.

He looked down and sighed. "Why did you lie to me? I had just lost my son and you gave me hope that my son was going to live on in a child."

"You were going to kill me," I exclaimed.

"I had a temporary lapse of judgement. I was grieving over Diego and I wasn't thinking straight."

"That is no excuse," Dillon spat. "Stay the hell away from Lulu." Then Dillon grabbed my hand and led me into the other room.

"You stood up to the mobster for me?"

"Alcazar doesn't scare me when you and my baby are in danger."

I smiled. "I don't think he'd really do anything here, since he is with Skye."

"Well, I still mean that."

I bit my lip. "So I guess I don't have to live here anymore."

"Are you sure you want to leave? I miss you when you're not here."

"Dillon, we can't do this. Georgie is right, if we spend too much time together, who knows what will happen. I don't want to want you anymore," I said, standing up and placing a distance between us.

I heard him sigh, but I didn't dare look at his face, I figured it would hurt too much.

"Besides, I'm sure Carly could use some help with her boys."

"She has a nanny," Dillon muttered.

"I don't want to do this. I promised myself that I would get over you, living with you makes that hard Dillon."

He didn't say anything for a few minutes. I took his silence as his response and ran upstairs to pack my clothes.

I started tossing things into a suitcase when Dillon knocked on the door. "You can't keep doing this," he started.

"Doing what? Protecting myself from getting hurt?"

"Shutting me out every time we start to get closer. You keep me at this distance Lulu. Every time things begin to feel like they used to, you get upset and push me away."

"Dillon, I was in love with you. I went as far as breaking up your marriage. Sorry if when you didn't return the feelings my heart broke and now I try to keep it from breaking again, by keeping my distance. How selfish of me…"

"Lulu…"

"Don't Dillon. I am so tired of arguing with you over this."

"Can I at least give you a ride back to Carly's?" he asked in defeat.

"Yes," I agreed. "But can we please drop this discussion?"

He nodded as he took my bags and carried them downstairs.

"Leaving already?" Tracy asked.

"You don't have to leave dear. If you would rather stay, you let us know. Don't listen to Tracy," Edward said gently.

"This is not about Tracy," I insisted. "I only needed to stay temporarily." I turned to leave.

"Wait," Tracy called. "I need to speak to Lulu alone for a minute."

"You better retract your claws," Edward muttered to her, as he walked by.

"I'll wait for you outside," Dillon said gently.

As soon as we were alone, Tracy patted the seat next to her on the couch. I considered running, but changed my mind and sat down. "Are you sure you're okay?" she asked with actual concern.

"I'm fine."

"I don't mind if you stay here, but I don't want you and Dillon to end up back together. That was a disaster. You both ended up getting hurt."

"Dillon and I are just friends. He is only here for me because I am pregnant with his child. He and Georgie are still together."

"Yes, well, it's not like his relationship with Georgie is very solid or you wouldn't be pregnant."

"Dillon loves her. That is all that really matters."

"I'm impressed, you can actually spit that out without sounding bitter."

"I was wrong to break them up. I let my feelings for Dillon control my actions and I hurt him, and myself. I don't want to do that again. Dillon deserves to be with the girl he loves. I've accepted that that is not me."

"Okay, you've convinced me. Take care of that child, where ever you end up staying."

"I'm doing my best," I said, as I stood up and went outside to meet Dillon. He smiled at me as I approached the car.

"What did she want?"

"To talk," I said elusively.

XXXXX

Dillon stopped the car at Carly's and helped me with my luggage. Letitia was sitting on the couch with the boys. "Hey Lulu," Michael said, as I entered the room. "Are you moving back in?"

"For a little while. Where's your Mom?"

"Her and Jax went out for a while."

"Okay, I'll be upstairs," I said, as Dillon followed behind me with my luggage. He set it down in the room I stayed in.

"Did you want to go out and meet Spinelli?" he asked gently. "We could work some more on solving Rick Webbers murder."

"I think I could use a nap. The baby needs me to be well rested," I said, as I dropped onto the bed.

"How about tomorrow when you get off work and I get home from ELQ?"

"That sounds good," I agreed.

"Okay, I'll see you later," he said, as he left the room and closed the door behind him.

As soon as I heard the door click shut, the tears started to pour from my eyes. I buried my face into my pillow and cried. I still loved him and it hurt to know I could never have him.

"I'm sorry Baby," I whispered. "You deserve parents that love one another. I wish I could at least give that to you, but I can't with the Quartermaines ready to steal you away the second I tried. How would you feel living with your Uncle Nikolas? He would love you as much as he could. You would be raised with privilege and I could see you whenever. I know it's not perfect but you don't want me raising you. I always fail at everything I try to do. I want you to have a better life than I did. I already love you Baby, but I don't think that is enough. Your grandfather taught me that. You'll understand when you meet him." I thought of my father and how once again, he'd disappeared. I didn't want my child to be raised that way. I cried harder, resting my hand against my stomach and holding my baby for comfort.


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with General Hospital.**

**A/N: I'll admit when the scene cut to Dillon already in Lulu's room yesterday, I was a little disappointed. I thought we had missed out getting to see his face when he saw her for the first time. Then the dialogue began and nothing could have been more perfect. The way he talked about their connection! I was very pleased, and then he and Georgie broke up. The writers are finally doing something I want and I couldn't be happier.**

To Choose Life

Chapter 18

I spent the next day working at the Metro Court. It was a long day and I dealt with several customer complaints. Right before it was time for me to get off for the day Carly and Jax asked to speak with me.

"What's up?" I asked, as I entered their office.

"You need a better position and we have found one that we think you'll be perfect for."

"Okay…" I said, slightly confused.

"We want to make you head of PR. You deal with customer complaints with such ease. This would be perfect for you. You would be in charge of reading customer comments. You would take all calls from customers who contact the hotel and have a complaint. You would be in charge of what the public hears when something goes wrong at one of our hotels," Carly explained.

"You seriously want me to do this? Are you sure you don't want someone with experience?"

"You'll be trained and you already have a knack for it…" Jax insisted.

"You'll get an office…" Carly started.

"I know that you want to help me because I'm pregnant and you're worried about me."

"That's not true," Carly said. "That isn't the only reason we want to offer you this position. You've shown us that you are willing to accept a challenge. This would be more fun than being a desk clerk. You've earned it. Besides having the experience wouldn't hurt."

"If you're positive that you want me to do this, then yes, I'll accept it. However, if this is about poor pregnant Lulu, then I'd rather stay a desk clerk."

"Your office will be ready tomorrow," Carly said gently.

"Thank you both for this," I said, suddenly excited.

XXXXX

After work, I arrived at Kelly's. Spinelli was sitting in front of his laptop. "Hi Spinelli."

"Evening Blonde One," he said cheerfully.

"Has Dillon shown up yet?"

"Not yet."

"So have you found anything?"

"I certainly have. You see the Dead One had at least one enemy. Dr. Quartermaine had a reason to kill him."

"Monica?"

"Alan. He hated Rick. According to this news report a nursery collapsed containing his wife and Rick. They were having an affair."

"I think I remember hearing about that."

"Hey Guys," Dillon said gently, as he sat down next to me.

"How much did your uncle Alan hate Rick?" I asked him.

"What are you getting at?" Dillon responded.

"Well Monica and Rick were having an affair…" I started.

"Years ago. I mean back then it was pretty bad. He tried to kill Rick and Monica in a nursery, but he ended up saving her."

"Maybe Rick and Monica started having another affair when he was in town for my parent's wedding."

"Okay, ugh, that is my aunt."

"Well there is one way to find out. I could check the hospital records and see if he was at work that night," Spinelli suggested.

"That could work," I agreed.

"You really think my uncle Alan did it?" Dillon said.

"Well it wasn't my mother," I insisted.

"Well I guess it won't hurt to look into it…" Dillon started.

"Thank you Dillon," I said with newfound excitement.

We grabbed our jackets and made our way over to the hospital. Dillon and I distracted Epiphany while Spinelli started hacking into one of the computers. That lasted for about three minutes before she noticed Spinelli on the computer. "What are you doing?" she shouted at him. Spinelli clicked a button and then ran towards the exit. Dillon and I took that opportunity to run to another stairwell.

We all met back at Kelly's. "That was fun," I muttered, as I dropped into one of the wooden chairs.

"I got what I needed. Alan was scheduled to work that night, but he signed out early," Spinelli told us.

Dillon and I exchanged looks with one another. "You're sure?" Dillon asked.

"Yes, I am positive."

Max and Milo approached our table. "Milo what are you doing here?" I asked gently. He smiled at me.

"Mr. Corinthos wants to see you," Max said to Spinelli.

"I guess the Godfather needs my talents," Spinelli exclaimed.

"See you later Spinelli. Bye Milo," I said, watching his face flush with colour.

"He has the biggest crush on you," Dillon teased.

"Maybe I should go out with him," I said, watching his face change.

"What? Like on a date?"

"That is what I meant. What is wrong with you?"

"Nothing. Listen, I have an idea for our next step in the case."

"Okay," I said, confused at his change in behaviour.

XXXXX

We arrived at the Scorpio attic. "What are you guys doing here?" Georgie asked, as we went inside.

"Working on the case. Do you guys need a moment?" I asked.

"No, we're fine," Georgie said awkwardly. "I just needed something. Then you can have the attic to yourselves."

"Okay. You can stick around if you want," I offered.

"Don't worry about it," Georgie said forcefully. Then she left.

"What was that about?" I asked.

Dillon shrugged. "She's probably busy with school."

His indifference was forgotten when he stumbled upon a date book buried underneath a pile of boxes. It must have been kicked there during a struggle and overlooked when CSU combed the room. It wasn't very obvious. We only found it because Georgie had been rifling through a box.

"This is huge," I said with excitement.

"Yeah, it is," Dillon said cheerfully.

We scanned the pages. Right around the date of his death, a phone number was written several times. "We need Spinelli for this," I said gently.

"Definitely. I guess we can pick up tomorrow."

I nodded and Dillon followed me out of the attic. "Can I ask a favour?" he asked as we started walking back to Kelly's.

"Depends on the favour."

"I need a date for ELQ's annual Christmas party…"

"You want me to go with you?"

"I know it sounds boring, but I'll make it fun. I'll buy you a new dress and shoes…" he insisted.

"I don't know Dillon."

"We'll get a limo…"

"All right, I guess it won't hurt."

"One other thing…"

"What?" I said, expecting him to tell me to behave for the family.

"I need you to pose as my wife."

"Excuse me?"

"I know how that sounds, but the employees at ELQ know that I have a baby on the way and…"

"Just get Georgie to stuff a pillow in her shirt…" I spat.

"Georgie and I aren't together anymore…"

"What?"

"We broke up last week."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want you to think it was your fault and then have you start avoiding me again. I know that you hate coming between us and if I told you last week you would have blamed yourself, but it had nothing to do with you."

"Dillon…"

"Lulu, will you do this for me? Grandfather is going on and on about family values and making the family look good at this party."

"Since when do you care about what your grandfather wants?"

"Since I want to keep my spot at ELQ."

"Dillon, this is cruel…"

"Please do this for me. I'll do whatever you want…"

"I can't do this…" I said, as I started to walk away.

"I know that this isn't fair to you. I know that you fell for me last summer and you got hurt, but its just one night. I'll make it fun. You can torture me all night."

I dropped my gaze to the ground. "I'll make you a deal?"

"I'm listening."

"You have to come shopping with me. You have to suffer an entire day in the mall. I want a new dress, new shoes, the limo and you have to let me embarrass you at the party. I also want to get my hair and nails done."

"I think I can agree to that."

"All right Dillon, I'll pose as your wife for one night."

He smiled at me and I shook my head in response.

XXXXX

The next morning I was introduced to my new position at the Metro Court. Carly and Jax had found me my own office. Carly was sitting on the corner of the desk with a smile on her face. "Okay, are you ready to start your training?" she asked excitedly.

I nodded cautiously. "Do I have to wear the uniform anymore?"

"No, that is another perk. You can wear whatever you want."

"Excellent," I exclaimed.

For the entire morning they gave me practice calls. I passed through them with ease. They handed me a stack of comment cards and explained that it was my job to go through them and deal with any complaints.

By the time I reached my lunch break, I was very excited about my new position. Carly came into the lunchroom and sat down beside me. "Well what do you think?" she asked.

"I love my new position," I said cheerfully. "I really appreciate this."

"I'm glad. So why are you so dressed up today?" she asked.

"Dillon and I are going shopping tonight."

"For what?"

"Well it seems Edward is pushing family values at the annual ELQ Christmas party. He is obsessed with making the family look good and since the employee's know Dillon is having a child, I have to pose as his wife."

"That doesn't make a whole lot of sense."

"I know, but I agreed to do it. In exchange for a whole list of things I want, of course."

"Are you sure you want to do this?" she asked with concern.

"I want to help him out. He's been helping me a lot lately."

"What about Georgie?"

"Oh, that's the other news. They apparently broke up last week. Dillon didn't bother to tell me until yesterday."

"What happened?"

"He didn't go into detail and I didn't ask. I mean to be totally honest they haven't gotten along that well in a long time. I didn't expect them to break up though."

"Did I just sense a tone of optimism?" Carly teased.

"Yeah right. I know better."

"Come on Lulu, don't give up hope."

"My hope died a long time ago. I believe around the time my mother first slipped into a catatonic state."

"Are you ever going to allow a little happiness in your life?"

"Probably not," I muttered.

"You need to let something make you happy."

"I've grown up to learn life is just easier if you don't try and search for happiness."

"Do you know how depressing that is?" Carly asked.

"Maybe, but its still easier."

"You know Milo really likes you. You guys could go out?"

"Yeah, because what guy wouldn't want to date a pregnant woman?"

"That is how Jason fell in love with Sam."

"Well most guys aren't Jason, especially not Milo."

"True, but you'll never know if you don't try."

The rest of the day passed quickly. By the end, I was actually looking forward to spending the evening at the mall with Dillon. Though I wouldn't let myself look too forward to it, because I was still set on guarding my heart.


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with General Hospital.**

**A/N: Sorry for the delay. I had to rewrite this entire chapter. It was originally riddled with angst, but it didn't feel right. So now its fluff, which is definitely needed at this point in the story. Don't worry, the angst is no where near over, but this chapter needed to be this way in order for the story to progress the way I originally planned. Thanks for reading.**

To Choose Life

Chapter 19

My shift came to an end at 5:00. I waited patiently for Dillon in the lobby. He finally arrived and I smiled at him when he entered the room. "Ready to go?" I asked.

He nodded. "You look really nice today," he offered.

"Thanks, I'm just glad I could squeeze into it."

"Are you kidding? You can barely tell that you're pregnant."

"Are you kidding?" I responded. "I'm huge."

"No, you're five months pregnant and barely showing."

"'Barely', isn't the word I'd use," I said, as I flattened my black shirt and looked down at my expanded waist.

"You look fine," he said as we climbed into his car.

"Why do the employees at ELQ know that you're having a child?"

"My grandfather announced it."

"Of course he did," I muttered, picturing the smug smile on Edwards face when he thought about the heir I was carrying.

"So how have you been feeling?" Dillon asked.

"What do you mean?"

"We haven't really talked about your Mom since you got back from your kidnapping."

"I'm fine Dillon. I'm just trying to focus on something positive, like proving she's innocent."

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes, I've had a few weeks to come to terms with it."

"I know. I just worry about you."

"You don't need to. The baby and I are fine. I'm eating healthy. I'm sleeping and trying to stay relaxed."

"Are you planning on signing up for any birthing classes?"

"Birthing classes?" I exclaimed, trying to keep the laughter out of my voice. "Dillon, when have I been the type to go to birthing classes?"

"Since you got pregnant."

"This pregnancy hasn't turned me into a soccer mom."

"Its something we could do together for the baby…"

"Dillon no, we're not attending birthing classes together."

"Why not?"

"Are you serious? I don't want to sit in a room with a bunch of happy pregnant women and practice my breathing."

"It will be fun and we'd meet other women that are pregnant. We might even meet the parents of our child's future friends."

"You are such an idealist. You know I love that about you, but come on, we're not exactly going to be the parents of Leave it to Beaver."

"No, we're going to be parents on our own terms. I just think this could be fun," Dillon insisted.

"Obviously we have very different ideas of fun."

"Have you given any thought to names?"

"I don't want it to start with 'L'. I want it to be original."

"Any ideas?"

"Not really. If it's a girl, I'd like her middle name to be Laura."

"That sounds good."

"We still have four months to think about it."

"I know, but it doesn't hurt to start thinking about it."

Dillon parked the car at the mall and we made our way inside. "Where do you want to start?" he asked gently.

"With the dress. You have to match the shoes to the dress."

"Of course you do. How could I forget?" he muttered sarcastically as he followed me into one of the stores.

I pulled some dresses off the rack and carried them into the change room. Dillon waited patiently until I emerged.

I opened the door and met his gaze. "What do you think of this one?" I asked.

"You look beautiful," he said, as he came towards me. "It's perfect."

"I don't know if pink really works. Maybe I should go with black. It's more thinning," I said as I stared at the pink dress I was wearing.

"You don't need to wear something that is slimming. You look beautiful," he whispered.

"Let me try on another one," I said before disappearing back into the change room.

I pulled the black dress off the hanger and slid into it. It was tight at the top but hung loosely around my waist. The length dipped just below my knees, but in it you could barely tell that I was pregnant.

"What do you think?" I asked, as I stepped out of the change room. Dillon stood speechless for a minute.

"You look amazing," he said, as he slid the zipper up.

"That's sweet. What do you really think?"

"I'm serious. You look gorgeous."

"Really?"

He nodded. "It's perfect." His fingers lingered on my back at the top of the zipper for a second longer before he pulled his hand away.

"Okay, I'll take it," I said, before slipping back into the change room and removing the dress. I tossed it over the door to Dillon so that he could pay for it.

I slid my clothes back on and met him at the cash register.

"Where to next?" he asked gently, as he followed me out of the store.

"Shoes," I said cheerfully.

We went into the nearest shoe store and I looked around at the many pairs of shoes. "I miss my feet," I cried, as Dillon gave me a very confused look. "My feet are huge."

"No they're not," he said as he looked down at them.

"They're swollen."

"Well you are pregnant," he said, as I lifted a pair of shoes into my hands.

"Won't those hurt?"

I nodded. "Unfortunately. They wouldn't even fit me anymore anyway."

"You'll get your feet back when you give birth."

"Oh in four months?"

He smiled. "Come on, sit down and I'll get the sizes of shoes you want." I did as I was told. Dillon went around the store and gathered several pairs of shoes in my size.

I rubbed my hand against my belly, as a woman sat down beside me. "When are you due?" she asked gently.

I turned to smile at her. "April."

"Congratulations."

"Thank you," I said gently.

"I have three at home," she continued.

"Wow, this is my first."

"The first is always the most fun," she offered.

I kept my laughter at bay. I wouldn't necessarily call any of this fun.

Dillon arrived with several pairs of shoes. "You must be the father," the woman said to him.

"Yeah," Dillon answered, as a smile appeared on his face.

"Have you been together long?" she asked.

I was really trying not to laugh now. Dillon looked slightly uncomfortable. "No," he answered.

"Well I wish you the best," she said gently, as she placed the shoes she was trying on back into the box. "Congratulations. A baby always manages to put your life into perspective."

"Thank you," I called after her as she left.

"What the hell was that?" Dillon asked.

I shrugged. "A friendly woman," I answered.

"How do those fit?" he asked.

I looked down at the flat heeled shoes I'd placed on my feet. "I hate them," I moaned.

I watched Dillon trying not to laugh. "They're just shoes."

I turned my gaze to him. "Shoes make the outfit. I can't wear something that I don't like."

"I see," he said, as he started to twiddle his thumbs.

I bent down to try on another pair and my back began spasm in response. "Oww," I cried.

"What's wrong?" Dillon exclaimed in a panic.

"I hurt my back."

"Here," he said as he slid onto the floor and placed the shoes on my feet. I watched him kneeling down and smiled. I couldn't help momentarily feeling my love for him shining through.

After trying on ten pairs, I picked a pair that wasn't exactly practical but weren't hideous either. Dillon paid for them and then took me to a salon to make an appointment for my hair and nails.

Afterwards he bought me dinner at the food court. "I had fun today," I said as I sat down.

"Me too," he said gently.

I smiled at him over my hamburger. "You're not too bad to shop with, for a guy."

"Thanks, I think."

"You're welcome."

"Is there anything else you want for this party; since I'm dragging you along?"

"I don't know. What do you have in mind?"

"How about new jewellery?" he suggested.

"I could use new jewellery."

I took the last bite of my dinner and Dillon threw out our garbage and then led me to a jewellery store. He brought me up to the counter and the sales clerk came over to us. "Can I help you?" she asked.

"We'd like a diamond necklace and bracelet," Dillon insisted. The clerk took us over to her diamond showcase and Dillon turned to me. "Pick what you want."

"Are you sure?" I asked gently.

He nodded. "I owe you a lot. More than just for this party."

"What do you mean?"

"You're my best friend. You're going to be the mother of my child. You have provided me with a sense of happiness and contentment that I know I would never have found with Georgie. I owe it to you. I have been a jerk to you for way too long and I have to make it right."

I smiled. "You're not a jerk. Who was the one that flew to the Markhaam islands with me to help save my father? Who was the one that always had my back when my father abandoned me? Who was the one that held me all night when my mother relapsed, even though he was in a relationship with someone else? You, Dillon have had my back for as long as I've known you. Our history is interesting, to say the least, but you've always been loyal to me, even when I almost had an abortion. So you don't owe me anything."

"I still want you to pick out whatever you want."

"All right, I'm not going to argue about diamonds."

I stared into the showcase and picked out a simple necklace and bracelet laced with a few diamonds that sparkled under the fluorescent light. The clerk pulled them out and Dillon put them on me. "You look beautiful," he whispered.

"Thank you Dillon," I said softly, as he lifted a mirror so I could see my reflection.

"We'll take these," Dillon told the clerk.

She nodded and Dillon handed her the jewellery. She rang them up and Dillon paid for them.

"Ready to go home?" I asked.

"Want ice cream for the ride?"

"I think you know my answer."

He laughed as he followed me out of the store and over to the ice cream kiosk.

XXXXX

Dillon stopped the car in front of Carly's. "I really did have fun today," he offered.

"Me too," I responded softly. "I'll see you at the party Friday night."

"Okay," he said, as I climbed out of the car and went inside.

"Well?" Carly asked, as I flung open the door.

"I had fun," I answered evasively.

"Good," she said. "I'm glad to hear it. You need more fun. So what did you buy?"

"I didn't buy anything."

"Have I told you how proud I am of you lately?"

"No, but that's really sweet."

"You seem more like my little sister with each passing day."

I smiled at her. "I love to hear that."

There was a knock at the door and Carly went to answer it. Nikolas stood on the other side with Spencer in his arms. "Spencer," I exclaimed, as I stood up and took him from my brother's arms.

"Carly can I speak to you?" Nikolas asked.

Carly nodded, and allowed him to come inside. "What's up?"

"I have been doing a lot of thinking. Reconciling with Emily has put a lot of things into perspective to me. Mostly that Courtney was Spencer's mother and also your best friend."

Carly nodded. "Okay," she said as she tried to understand where Nikolas was going.

"I was mad that you tried to keep me from my son, but a part of me sort of understands. The fact is, Courtney would want you to play an active role in his life and so do I."

"Really? After what I did to you?"

"I'm not excusing what you did, but Spencer shouldn't suffer from your mistakes. He deserves to know about his mother and there is no one better to tell him then you."

I saw the tears that spilled from Carly's eyes, as Nikolas said this. "That really means a lot to me."

"I know you and Emily aren't that close but she will be helping me raise him. However, I would like to make you his God Mother."

"Really?"

"Courtney would want it that way."

"Thank you Nikolas," she said softly. "This truly means the world to me."

"You're welcome. However, I ask one thing?"

"What's that?"

"That you will never pollute his mind against Emily."

"I won't. You are his father and I have no right to say anything about the person you choose to raise your child with. Even if that person is Emily. I don't hate Emily. I hate Elizabeth. That I might object to."

"Well I don't have any plans on stealing Elizabeth away from my brother."

Carly laughed. "Can I offer you a drink?"

"I don't want to intrude."

"Believe me, you're not intruding. If anything, you just made my day."

"All right, I'll have a cup of coffee," he answered. Carly smiled, as she slipped into the kitchen.

"That was really nice of you," I said to my brother.

"I spent too much time being bitter. I have my son. I reconciled with Emily and I feel its time I start remembering what's important in life. So when is the next time you're coming to stay with me?"

"I don't know right now."

"Well what is going on in your life?"

"Carly and Jax gave me a new position at the Metro Court."

"Really, what is it?"

"I am the new head of PR."

"Congratulations."

"And she's really good at it," Carly said as she reentered the room.

I spent the next couple of hours enjoying the company of Nikolas and Carly. It felt good to remember what its like to be surrounded by those that love you. I also loved any second I got to spend with my nephew.


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with General Hospital. **

**A/N: Sorry for the delay. This chapter took a lot of my attention and I didn't have a lot of time to give it that attention. This chapter is a pivotal moment in the story, so I had to make sure it was perfect.**

To Choose Life

Chapter 20

By the time Friday rolled around, I was actually very excited about the party. Emily took me to get my hair done. I was excited to also spend the day with her.

The stylist put my hair up in a soft bun and then set gentle ringlets around my face. Then she gave me a manicure and pedicure, painting my nails a fiery red.

By the time we went back to Wyndemere I was pumped. Elizabeth met us there and she and Emily finished getting me ready. "You look beautiful," Emily whispered.

"You really do. Dillon is going to be speechless," Elizabeth agreed.

I hugged both women. "Thank you for being here for me."

"We're always going to be here for you."

I went downstairs where my brother was sitting with his son. "Lulu you look stunning," he offered.

"Thank you," I said gently.

Spencer looked up at me and smiled. "Hi little one," I cooed. He reached out for me and I took him from my brother's lap.

"Don't let him mess up your hair," Elizabeth warned.

"Spencer would never do something like that," I joked.

"Are you ready to go?" Emily asked as she entered the room.

I nodded, as I pressed a kiss to my nephews head and then handed him back to Nikolas. Emily and Elizabeth drove me over to the Quartermaines. Elizabeth told us about Cameron spending the day with Lucky. It was nice to hear that they seemed to be slowly moving towards one another again. At least my brothers could be happy.

As we pulled up to the mansion the two women bid me goodbye and good luck. I thanked them for everything and then got out of the car. Dillon was waiting for me in the yard, looking exceptionally handsome in the suit he was wearing.

"You look beautiful," he whispered, as he looked me over.

"You don't look too bad yourself," I responded with a gentle smile.

"Before we go, I got you this," he said, as he handed me a small velvet box.

"What is this?" I asked, as I took it from him.

"Well you are posing as my wife," he said as I flipped open the small container and looked at the wedding set inside.

"Dillon I can't accept this," I said, as I looked back up at him.

"Sure you can."

"No, this is ridiculous…"

"It's just for tonight," he insisted. I looked back down at the sparkling diamond rings that matched the white gold bracelet and necklace he had bought me only a few days before.

"We're not married," I muttered.

"I know but since you're posing as my wife, I wanted to get you something nice."

I dropped my gaze to the ground. My head was screaming at me to run away and be rational, but my heart knew that Dillon was being his sweet self and I owed him this much for wrecking his marriage. "Fine," I said, as I pulled the rings out of the box.

"Wait," Dillon said, as he took them from my hand. He lifted my left hand and slid both rings down my ring finger. I stared at them for a moment, taking in the beauty of such delicate jewellery. I hated how such simple moments made me love him so much more.

"Ready to go?" Dillon asked.

I nodded, and he led me over to the limo that was taking us to the party.

"Where did we meet? In case someone asks," I said while we sat in the back of the limo.

"School?"

"I'm not in school?"

"We met through family."

"So, you don't want me to tell people you knocked up your stepsister?" I asked, jokingly.

"Yeah right, my grandfather would have a heart attack."

I smiled. "So we met through family and how long have we been together?"

"We got married back in May."

"Got it. Anything else?"

"I think that's pretty much it."

We arrived at our location and the limo driver opened the door for us. I climbed out of the car and then Dillon held out his arm for me. I felt out of place as we entered the large room filled with ELQ employees.

"Mr. Quartermaine," a young woman called, as she approached us. "It's nice to see you." I smiled at her. "This must be your wife?" she said gently.

I nodded and reached out my hand. "Yes, this is my wife Lulu Quartermaine," he explained. I felt my stomach react to hearing my name with Quartermaine on the end. Not in my lifetime.

"Nice to meet you. My name is Lauren. I'm his assistant."

"It's nice to meet you too," I said, as she shook my hand.

Other guests came toward us and introduced themselves. I was beginning to feel overwhelmed and my feet hurt, but I kept smiling and shaking hands with everyone who approached us. I imagined I wasn't as graceful as Georgie probably would have been.

"What are you doing here?" Tracy asked me, when she saw me.

"She's my wife," Dillon muttered, so that only she and I could hear.

I watched the smile that broke out across her face; it wasn't a cheerful one by any means. "Is that so? Well I guess as a Spencer, you can pull off any lie."

I let her words bounce off of me. "Nice to see you again too. Your grandchild is fine by the way," I muttered.

When Dillon and I were finally able to sit down, I breathed a sigh of relief. "How are your feet?" Dillon asked.

"They feel like they were stomped on by an elephant."

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I should have brought you to a seat when we arrived."

"It's okay Dillon. I'm here to make you look good, not seem antisocial."

"Have I thanked you for doing this for me?" he asked.

"Yes, with the jewellery."

He smiled and looked down at the ground. "I really appreciate this. You are so much more than the mother of my child. You are my best friend."

"And you are mine."

"So how's the new job going?" he asked delicately.

"It's going well. I really enjoy it."

"I'm glad," Dillon said.

"Mr. Quartermaine," a cheerful feminine voice said as a woman approached our table. "I was hoping you'd bring your wife."

I held out my hand for her. "My name's Lulu."

"Wow you are looking good for being pregnant," she exclaimed.

"Thank you."

"How far along are you?" she asked gently.

"Five months."

"Wow, you don't look a day over four months. I'm actually two months along too."

"Really congratulations," I said to her.

"Thank you." She continued talking about her pregnancy for several more minutes and I found for the first time in this ocean of people, someone I could relate to.

When she did finally leave, I turned to find Dillon smiling at me. "What?"

"See you don't hate pregnant women."

"I'm not signing up for birthing classes."

He smiled at my remark. "Fine," he said in defeat.

As the night wore on, I had found myself a group of people who I truly appreciated talking to. For once I didn't mind acting like I belonged in the Quartermaine family.

Dillon approached me with a drink in his hands. "Here," he said softly.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Orange juice."

"Hi Mr. Quartermaine," the girl who was standing next to me said.

"Dillon this is Rebecca," I introduced him.

"Nice to meet you Rebecca. What department are you in?"

"I work in finance," she explained.

Dillon spoke with her for a few minutes and then Edward approached us. "Lulu dear, it's so nice to see you," he greeted me. "Dillon, I'd like you to make a speech."

"Me?" Dillon exclaimed, absolutely dumbfounded.

"You want to run this company; then you need to start with your head below water and then learn to swim."

"Okay, I'm sure I can handle it," Dillon insisted.

Dillon prepared himself to get up on stage. "What do I say?" he asked, as I adjusted his tie.

"Whatever comes to mind. Look, think of yourself as a director whose film just won best picture at the academy awards. What would you say?"

"They have a tendency to just thank the world."

"So thank the room," I offered.

"Want to come up?" he asked.

"Yeah right. Not a chance Quartermaine. You're on your own."

Dillon grimaced and pulled on his tie as if it were a noose. "Don't do that," I scolded, as I reached over and fixed it again. Dillon grabbed onto my arms and ran his hands along them.

"Thank you for doing this."

"You're thanking the wrong person."

"No I mean it. You didn't have to come tonight but you did."

"I don't mind being there for you. Now get up there and show everyone what you're made of."

Dillon let go of me and slowly made his way onto the stage. I wrapped my arms around my waist. "Daddy's about to make a speech, to secure your future, little one. You think he can handle the pressure?" I whispered, as I watched a panicked stricken Dillon standing on stage.

Dillon stared out at the crowd for a moment. He looked like he was going to collapse. I almost felt bad for not going up with him. "I… On behalf of my family, I want to thank you all for being here tonight. There is nothing more important to ELQ than its workers. You have kept us running with all your hard work and determination. We couldn't thank you enough for coming in everyday and keeping us afloat. This party doesn't give our gratitude justice. We do though, really appreciate it and hope that you do have a good time tonight."

He continued his speech by making several announcements about the staff and then I felt a sense of dread when he opened his mouth again. "My wife and I are also expecting our first child. It was unplanned but we are very excited. It's funny how everything changes when you discover you're going to be a parent. You wonder if you're good enough, if you can really give this child all the love it deserves and then you reach a point when you realize, all you can do is try."

I looked over to see horrified expressions on Tracy and Edward's faces. I knew they hadn't expected him to begin a motivational speech on the hardships of parenting. I suddenly felt responsible for saving him. I would later rationalize that I did it so our child had a secure future as a Quartermaine heir. I climbed the several steps onto the stage and approached the podium.

"What my husband is trying to say, is thank you everyone for trying your hardest and giving ELQ you're loyal support. We thank you for your words of congratulations about the baby and we congratulate all of you that are also expecting a child. It's a wonderful experience. So Merry Christmas everyone. Enjoy your time with your families and friends and we'll see you all in the new year."

As I closed my speech, the audience began to applaud and then I led a very shaken Dillon off the stage. "Public speaking isn't your strong suit, is it?" I asked gently.

"Well miss head of public relations, I haven't had to make too many speeches."

I laughed, and we turned to see Tracy and Edward approaching us. "Dillon what happened up there?" Tracy demanded.

"I told you to make a speech, not an after school special on the joys of parenting," Edward said gruffly.

"I got nervous," Dillon admitted.

"Well you won't have any future at ELQ if you can't even make a speech at a Christmas party," Edward reprimanded him.

"I wasn't prepared," Dillon confessed.

"It was a test," Edward retorted.

"It wasn't that bad," I defended. "He can only get better and he started out well."

"Who knows what would have happened if you hadn't have gone up there," Tracy said.

"Hey," I exclaimed. "Dillon is just trying to prove to you that he is a part of this family. He did fine. He can only get better so leave him alone."

Tracy glared at me. "Well Ms. Pretending to be married to my son, I think I know exactly what he's doing. If he wants a future at ELQ, he needs to learn to handle situations like this."

"Yeah, who made the speech about the defective condoms to the press," I said in a low voice. "Dillon has bent over backwards to impress you. I don't care if he's your son or not, half the time you forget he exists."

"But you don't. You're always there hanging on," Tracy muttered bitterly.

I lowered my eyes at her. "You are the ones that made me keep the baby. Now I'm not good enough to be around your son."

"That's not what she's saying Dear," Edward interrupted. "She's just jealous that your child is going to be the next heir."

"Can we not fight here?" Dillon asked.

"Why don't we sit down?" I offered, as I slid my hand into his and led him away from his bickering family members.

As the night finally came to an end, Dillon and I went out to wait for the limo. Suddenly I felt movement inside my stomach. I grabbed my abdomen in surprise. "Is everything okay?" Dillon asked.

"The baby's kicking. Give me your hand." I grabbed his wrist and placed his hand against my swollen belly. I watched the smile form on his face as he felt his baby kicking for the first time.

"Wow, that's amazing," he exclaimed. "I think the baby had fun tonight."

"Definitely," I said sarcastically.

Suddenly our lips met and he pushed me back into the wall. His tongue explored my mouth, as our lungs began to burn for oxygen.

The limo arrived and I followed Dillon inside. Neither of us knew what to do for a moment and then his lips met mine again and I slowly fell back on the seat.

By the time, we'd reached the Quartermaines, I was desperate for his touch. I followed him inside and up to his room. As soon as his door closed, he kissed me again and together we backed up to the bed. I fell back on it and he lay down beside me. "Will this hurt the baby?" he asked gently.

I shook my head before rolling over to him and pressing my lips to his. He slowly removed one strap from the dress and his lips grazed my shoulder blade. He let the dress slide off my body and he looked me over once, before returning his mouth to mine.

We removed the rest of our clothes quickly and came together again for the first time since I got pregnant. Nothing had ever felt more right and more wrong in the same moment. I knew I should have run then, and not looked back, but I stayed the night with him in his bed, reliving for only a moment, how much I loved him.

As we began to drift off to sleep together, he whispered three words that shocked me to the core. "I love you," spilled off of his tongue softly. I didn't respond. I was too horrified. This was not how I wanted this night to go.


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with General Hospital. I also borrowed some lines from the episode on Dec. 22/06, which I got from a transcript on TV megasite.  
**

**A/N: I think Spinelli is sweet and he was a great friend to Lulu, but am I the only one that sees nothing romantic between them? Seriously I just can't get behind a romance b/w them. I hope the writers don't go there, just like I hope they don't go there with Logan. Then again, I don't have a good track record for writers writing shows the way I like them. That can't be a good sign. Please writers just put Dilu together and I'll never ask for anything else again. **

To Choose Life

Chapter 21

As dawn broke and sunlight permeated through the curtain I climbed out of Dillon's bed quietly, careful not to wake him. I redressed quickly and slid the rings off my finger. I placed them on his nightstand and stared at him for a moment. He looked so hot bathed in the sunlight's gentle glow. I ached to be with him. Last night his touch had reminded me of just how much I love him, but I knew better. He didn't love me and I had to accept that, so I left the room.

As soon as I emerged outside I opened my cell phone and called the one person who would be there for me no questions asked.

When he arrived, I climbed into the car just as the tears began to cascade down my face. "You look like shit," Lucas muttered.

"Thank you," I cried.

"What happened?" he demanded. "Do I need to go in there and kick Dillon's ass?"

"He told me he loved me," I sobbed and met Lucas' concerned gaze.

"Remind me again why that's a bad thing."

"He's on the rebound from Georgie. Look what happened last time," I muttered, motioning to my expanded waist.

"I'm sorry Lulu," he said, as he pulled out of the driveway.

"I slept with him again," I confessed.

Lucas turned and looked at me again, worry etched into his face. "Did he take advantage of you?"

"No, he was as sweet as always," I explained.

I cried quietly while Lucas drove through the busy streets of Port Charles. Lucas pulled into a parking lot. "I'll be right back."

I nodded as I sunk into the seat and fell apart. Lucas arrived with popsicles. "I couldn't think of any other way to cheer you up."

I remembered all the times he bought me popsicles to cheer me up when we were kids. "Where do you want to go?" he asked.

"Anywhere, but Port Charles," I announced.

"That can be arranged," he said before putting the car in gear and driving out of the parking lot.

Lucas merged onto a highway and I smiled as Port Charles was barely recognizable in the mirror.

"How has your pregnancy been going?" Lucas asked.

"Fine considering the stress I've been under."

"That's not good Lulu."

"Why can't I escape from Dillon?"

"Do you want the simple answer?"

"I want the honest answer."

"Well overlooking the fact that he got you pregnant, he was your first love. They are not easily forgotten."

"I don't want to hurt anymore," I admitted.

We drove for what felt like hours and then we got lunch and ate in the car along the waterfront. I leaned over and rested my head on my cousin's shoulder. Lucas had always been there for me and today was no exception. "I'm sorry Dillon hurt you," Lucas whispered.

"I just wish our child wasn't going to be in the middle of it."

"Well I will always be available to baby sit my little cousin."

"You know I'm going to have to take you up on that. You can even be an honourary uncle."

Lucas smiled. "I am going to spoil the hell out of this kid."

XXXXX

When we finally returned to Port Charles it was well after dark, but it had been a much needed trip out of the city. He parked the car in front of Carly's and led me up the front steps. I opened the door and met Carly's, Nikolas' and Lucky's very concerned gazes. "Lulu where were you?" Carly demanded.

"Dillon called like 18 times asking people if anyone knew where you were," Nikolas explained.

"Lucas and I took a road trip," I said.

"Dillon made it sound like you were kidnapped. He was terrified. Why didn't you take your cell phone?" Carly asked.

"It died," I muttered. "What's the big deal? I was with Lucas."

"We were worried sick," Lucky said.

"What happened last night?" Carly asked, obviously picking up on what my brother's were missing.

"Nothing, it was a wonderful night," I lied.

Carly cocked her head to the side. "I have told enough lies in my life to be able to tell when someone is lying to me."

"Fine, I'd like to get out of town for the week."

"Lulu, it's almost Christmas," Nikolas exclaimed.

"I can visit some of the other hotels and make myself known," I said to Carly. "I'll fly back for Christmas eve," I promised.

"What happened?" Carly questioned.

"Nothing."

"Lulu?"

"I slept with Dillon, okay? I fell into the trap of vulnerability and we slept together again. Now I don't want to be around him. Is that clear enough?"

"Did he take advantage of you?" Lucky demanded.

"No. It was mutual. Carly, please? I need to set some boundaries now."

"All right, I'll fly you out first thing in the morning," Carly agreed.

"Are you sure you should run from this?" Nikolas asked.

"If I don't, Dillon's going to want to talk about it and I'll end up doing what he wants because I still love him."

"Lulu has a point. Dealing with Sonny, I know what its like to need to set boundaries," Carly agreed.

"Thank you," I said before dropping onto the couch and burying my face in my hands.

Lucas came over to me and touched my shoulder. "I'm going to go. Call me if you need me okay?"

"Thanks Lucas. I really appreciate you being here for me today."

"Anytime," he said gently.

"Oh and one other thing, please no one tell Dillon where I've gone. I don't want him to find me."

"Fair enough."

Lucas left and my brothers offered me some words of support. I told them I was fine and hugged them both goodbye. Nikolas made me promise to be back for his Christmas eve dinner, then they left.

Carly brought me a glass of water and sat down beside me. "What's the whole story?"

"He told me that he loved me," I confessed.

"That's bad?"

"He's on the rebound from Georgie. I will not be that girl again. This was the outcome last time," I said as I pointed at my stomach. "I don't want our child to be hurt because I let him in and years down the road he resents us and leaves."

"Well, at least you know what you want. Make sure you don't let him get the upper hand. I remember when I was vulnerable to Sonny, he would use that to his advantage and I'd always cave and then I would always get hurt."

"This child has to be number one now. I probably would cave with Dillon if I didn't have this child to think about."

"I'm sure it will all be worth it when you hold this little one for the first time."

"I hope so," I said, as I rubbed my hand across my stomach and felt the baby kick in response. "I'm going to go to bed. I'll see you in the morning."

"Good night Lulu," Carly said gently.

"Night."

XXXXX

The next morning, I packed quickly before Dillon could show up. I left my cell phone off so he wouldn't call. Jax drove me to the airport and gave me a rundown of some information about the hotel I'd be visiting. He seemed excited about the trip I was taking. I assumed it was because Carly told him to keep me happy.

I got on the plane and sat down in my chair. I suddenly breathed a sigh of relief. I had escaped him. That sense of relief allowed me to drift off into a peaceful sleep.

The plane arrived at my destination safely and then I was taken to the hotel I'd be staying at. I was greeted at the front desk. "You must be Ms. Spencer."

I nodded. "Yes, I'll be staying here for the week so that I get to see how things are run."

"Well we have your room all ready for you."

"Thank you," I said gently, before the bellboy led me to my room. The room was huge and I had a great view from my window. I was excited about my little vacation and especially excited that I could avoid Dillon.

XXXXX

The week passed by quickly and I was able to avoid all calls from Dillon on my cell, and there had been many. I had actually accomplished a lot at the hotel and felt very confident about my return to Port Charles. Well except for having to face Dillon. Every night that I'd gone to sleep my mind flooded with images of our night together. I could still smell him, taste him and feel his skin on mine.

I was getting larger and larger by the day. It was now extremely obvious that I was pregnant, especially with the long black sweater I put on for my trip home.

I had climbed off the plane at the airport and went directly to General Hospital where they were celebrating Christmas Eve. I loved that I wouldn't fit into the elf costume.

I emerged from the elevator and saw all the children getting ready for Santa. "Aunt Lulu," Cameron exclaimed, as he bounded towards me. I lifted him up and kissed his cheek. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, Cam. Did you miss me?"

He nodded before touching my belly. "Baby."

"That's right. I am having a baby. That baby is going to be your cousin, just like Spencer."

"Mommy's having a baby."

"Mommy is having a baby and that baby is going to be your brother or sister."

Cameron giggled as he tightened his hold on my neck and hugged me tightly. "Santa," he shouted, as Dillon approached us in his Santa costume. I peaked around him and saw Georgie dressed as Mrs. Clause. That made me burst out laughing.

"Lulu can I talk to you?" he asked.

"I am spending time with my nephew," I muttered.

"Can we please talk about last week?"

"Probably not."

"Why?"

"I'm not in the mood. I'm exhausted from my flight and I just don't feel like doing this."

"We need to discuss what happened."

"Not tonight."

"Can I at least borrow you after this?"

"Dillon I'm so tired."

"Aunt Lulu's tired," Cameron affirmed.

"Thank you Cameron," Dillon said.

"You and Georgie decide to give marriage another go?" I asked, as I looked at her dressed as Mrs. Clause.

"Funny, but no. We are still over."

"That's sad."

"Stop avoiding. I want to give something to you."

I pressed my hand into my forehead. "Dillon…"

"Please?"

"I don't know. I'll talk to you later. You are needed right now."

Dillon groaned and I backed up to where my brother and sister in law were standing. "Are you okay?" Lucky asked with concern

"I'll be fine. So where's Nikolas?"

"Didn't you hear? Tonight is Spencer's acting debut," Lucky said.

"Is it now and why aren't we there supporting him?" I asked.

"It's cold out," Elizabeth said.

"Well I think maybe I should join them."

"Are you just trying to avoid Dillon?" Elizabeth asked.

"Would I do something like that?"

"Lulu you have to face him. Tell him how you feel," Lucky insisted.

"I love Dillon. I do but we would never work. He is still in love with Georgie and I don't want to be his rebound. This child deserves better."

"So do you," Elizabeth said softly, before wrapping me in an embrace. I allowed my brother and sister in law to comfort me, as I reminded myself why I couldn't have Dillon.

I handed Cameron back to Lucky. "I'm going to go watch Spencer act."

"Okay. We'll see you tonight."

I waved goodbye and began to head towards the elevator. I made eye contact with Dillon and his eyes plead with mine not to run. "Lulu," my aunt Bobbie exclaimed. "Honey, how are you feeling?"

"Tired," I answered gently.

"You don't look so well."

"Christmas is the hardest time without Mom. She should be here. Christmas is her favourite time of year."

"You know, your mom also was very lucky, because she also had a family who made sure she didn't miss it," Aunt Bobbie said gently.

"Yeah, but I'm -- I'm starting to figure out why my dad always bails on Christmas. I mean, I -- I've always known, but now I think I understand. For him, Christmas is synonymous with my mom. And everything that she loved and everything he loses when she's gone. I mean, even the Christmas angel. That's what he called her -- Angel. And it wasn't a nickname, like Cowboy or Gumdrop. It's -- it's real. She was an angel. And without her, he's -- he's incomplete."

"I know, honey. Luke has always pretended to have no use for Christmas. And he's always said things like "It's cheesy, it's commercial, and it's sentimental." But you know something? When we were growing up, every year, he always made sure I had a present, even if he had to steal it."

"Stealing presents -- yeah, that sounds like my dad."

"So before he left this time, he gave me something for you. They wouldn't let your mom have this at Shadybrook. But Luke wanted you to keep it for her," she said as she handed me a small velvet box.

I opened it and felt my heart drop in my chest. "This is my mom's engagement ring."

"And Luke knew that your mom would want you to have it."

"No -- this is a symbol of their love."

"So are you, sweetie. And that's why your dad wants you to keep it for her."

The tears burned my eyes as she wrapped me into her embrace. "I miss her so much."

"I know sweetheart, but she is still alive in your heart and that is what matters. Do you want to join me for Michael and Morgan's pageant?"

"I think I just need a little time alone."

"Okay, Merry Christmas and I'll see you later at Nikolas' dinner."

I nodded. "I'll be there."

As soon as she slipped onto the elevator, I snuck away from the group of people so I could be alone. I stared at the delicate jewelry that sparkled on my finger and brushed away the tears that cascaded down my face.

Once I was alone down an empty corridor I sunk onto the floor and buried my face into my hands, as I remembered just how much I missed my mother.

I cried for quite a long time before I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up to see Dillon crouching beside me. "What's going on?" he asked with extreme concern.

I lifted my hand so he could admire the ring on my finger. He took my hand in his and eyed the jewelry for a second. "Did you get engaged?" he teased.

"It's my mother's engagement ring. My dad sent it for me."

"That's really sweet," he said, as he let go of my hand. "Your Mom would be happy you had it."

"I miss my Mom."

"I know."

"I just want her to be here and there is nothing I can do."

"Come on don't cry, it's Christmas."

"It's not Christmas without Laura Spencer."

"Well its Christmas in there," he said, as he touched my belly. "Come on Lu, show our child how happy Christmas can be."

"I don't feel happy."

"I have something for you that might cheer you up." He reached down and helped me stand up. He then led me towards the elevator. We stepped inside and Georgie followed us in. I began to feel like I was suffocating.

"So you're engaged?" Georgie spat, as she looked at my ring.

"What?" I exclaimed.

"Well Dillon you didn't take long. Or did Lulu persuade you? Guess you got what you wanted all along. Just because you're pregnant doesn't erase everything you did. You are a slut."

"Georgie enough," Dillon shouted.

"We're not together anymore, so you can't tell me what I can and cannot say. I don't believe you," she said angrily. "You bought into her crap. You better watch it Lulu. Dillon has a way of disappointing you when you need him most." Then she stepped off the elevator.

"I am so sorry," Dillon apologized.

"You don't have to apologize for her. I understand her anger. I can't say I blame her."

"She can take it out on me, but I will not tolerate her taking it out on you," he said.

"It's fine Dillon." I followed him out to his car. "Where are we going?" I asked.

"It's a surprise."

"I hate surprises," I muttered.

"No you don't."

"Well I should. Look at my track record for surprises," I muttered, looking at my stomach.

"How is my baby?"

"Active. She likes to kick every time I want to sleep."

"A hell raiser just like her mother."

I smiled. "You better watch your back because once there is two of us…"

"I'll be in heaven."

"Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Don't make me want to forget that we can't be together."

"Why can't we?"

"You don't love me."

"I beg to differ."

"Dillon, last week was fun. It was nice, comforting…"

"It was sex."

"Yes, we slept together and that can't happen again."

"Why can't you let me in?"

"Last time I let you in Dillon my heart shattered. I am still putting back together the pieces."

"So let me help you."

"We're not doing this. I will not do this. We're not getting together."

"Just like that?"

"Dillon, you want to be with me because Georgie broke your heart…"

"That's not true. I want to be with you because you light up my life."

"We're not doing this," I reiterated more firmly.

"Fine I won't pressure you."

He stopped the car in the middle of suburbia. "What are we doing?"

"I bought this for you," he said as he handed me a set of keys. I followed his gaze to the two storey home he was parked in front of.

"What?"

"I bought you a house, for you and our child."

I sat there speechless for a moment. I had no idea how to respond to what he'd just said.


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with General Hospital.**

**A/N: I don't know how much longer I can watch the show. I don't understand what they've done to Dillon. Bickering with Milo and Spinelli as if Lulu is some prize in a contest? I don't understand and I can't stand it at all. I want to see the Dillon who is confident in his relationship with Lulu, the Dillon who had already won her heart as the only guy that cared about her feelings. That is not what they're showing on GH. The other day, I thought I was listening to a kindergarten teacher speaking to her four year old students. Anyway, if there comes a point when I just can't take it anymore, I won't give up on my stories but they may seem out of line with the show. It's simply because I write the characters as I remember them when I liked them. Not when they're acting like they hit their head and are suffering some type of head injury. I have others stories I plan on writing, but I will write Dillon and Lulu as they were back in the summer and not as they are being shown now. What is being shown now is definitely not what this couple is. I just wanted to let you know. **

To Choose Life

Chapter 22

I stared at the house which I had just been told was mine. "I… I can't accept this."

"You don't have a choice. I've already paid for it," Dillon said as he climbed out of the car and motioned for me to follow him.

"There is no way I can accept this."

"I got it for our child too. Don't you think our child deserves a home?"

"Of course I do, but I can't let you buy me a house," I said, as I followed him up the front steps on the large veranda. He took the key from my hand and slid it into the brass lock. He pushed open the door and I was met with a beautiful foyer.

"I didn't decorate because I figured you would kill me, but we'll go out and furnish it soon."

"Why would you do this for me?"

"I wanted our child to have a home, unlike we did."

"What are your intentions?" I asked, wishing I could lie down on the floor and take a nap. I had never felt so physically and mentally exhausted.

"I don't have any intentions or expectations. I bought you and our child a house because I thought it would be good for our child to have roots. I am not expecting to live here with you unless you want me to."

"I'm not the type that needs a guy to buy me stuff to make me feel validated."

"I'm not trying to make you feel validated."

"You can't buy me."

"I don't want to buy you. I wanted to give you something that you could use."

"Well I can't accept this Dillon."

"Well if you don't live here it's going to remain empty because it is paid for and it's in your name."

"Then I will sell it and give you the money."

"No. I wouldn't take the money. I wanted to buy our child a house. Please stop being so difficult."

"I don't want you to buy me a house. I don't need you to. I feel like a fucking prostitute."

Dillon glared at me for a moment. "Now you're just being ridiculous. I didn't buy you the house because you slept with me. I bought you the house because you are giving birth to my child and I wanted my child to have a home."

"Tell you what? you and the baby can live here together," I muttered sarcastically.

"Come on," he said, as he took my arm and led me upstairs. He pushed open a door and I looked in at the bedroom. "This can be the nursery."

I smiled at the bay window that looked out over the neighbourhood. "It is a nice house."

"So you'll accept it?"

"I can't just accept this."

"Okay, forget your pride for one second. I am doing this for our child. You can pay bills and be independent if you want, but accept this house for our child."

"Well, I do want our child to have a home… I don't want to live here all by myself though."

"You don't have to move in right away. I just wanted it to be here."

Dillon led me down the hall and showed me the two extra bedrooms and then the master bedroom. It was very large and the bathroom had a Jacuzzi tub, which I decided that I was never going to get out of.

"Thank you Dillon," I whispered.

"You're welcome."

Dillon then offered to drive me over to the launch so I could get over to Wyndemere before dinner started. I climbed back into the car and dropped the key into my purse. "How did you get your mother to agree to this?"

"She didn't have a choice. I enlisted my Uncle Alan's help and he basically talked her into it."

"What sold her, that I would be gone permanently?"

"No, he explained how he was going to help me sue the company for the condoms if she didn't comply. Both she and Grandfather shut their mouths pretty quickly."

"Nice. Your grandfather is never going to forgive you for ensuring the heir would not be raised by him."

Dillon smiled. "Yeah, you should have seen the look on his face. He'd be happy if you just moved back in and handed him our child. So how was your trip?"

"Very relaxing. I got a lot of work done and at the same time, I had some time to collect my thoughts."

"About us?"

"That was part of it. Last week was a mistake."

"Only to you."

"Tell me this. If we got together how many times would you be thinking this could be Georgie and I?"

"Never."

"Bullshit."

"Lulu, Georgie and I were over long ago; long before you lied. I just didn't want to accept that. Maybe our relationship got off to a rocky start, but I feel more for you than just the mother of my child."

"It's lust Dillon. It's misplaced feelings of emotion because you can no longer project your love at Georgie. I am not the one you love. You got me pregnant. That is it. That is where our connection ends."

"That is what you think? That this child is the only connection between us?" he demanded. I'd obviously struck a nerve.

"What else would I think? You chose Georgie."

"You are my best friend. You are the person I trust most in this world. We are far more connected than this child."

"How would I know that Dillon? What would give me any indication of that? When you chose Georgie? When you told me we couldn't be friends anymore? When you called me a selfish bitch? Or how about when you screamed that you would never have slept with me, if you had known I lied?"

"I was mad at you. I didn't mean any of that."

"Dillon, its okay; I understand why you would be mad. I'm just saying that you and Georgie would probably still be together if it weren't for me."

"No we wouldn't. You are not the reason we broke up."

"Yes I am. If I had never lied to you and slept with you, you and Georgie would still be happy."

"Georgie and I were not happy long before you lied. Why do you think your lie worked? We were falling apart. I just couldn't see it. Maybe I didn't want to see it. You gave me an out and I took it."

"Dillon…"

"No Lulu, you need to hear this. You are not responsible for Georgie and I breaking up. I don't love her like I used to. I don't want to be with her anymore. She doesn't want to be with me anymore."

"I know that's not true."

"Yes it is. She is my past, but she is not my present and especially not my future."

"If you are saying this to try and make me feel better…"

"I'm not. I am telling you the truth. You mean a lot to me. This child means a lot to me. Right now that is all that matters in my life," he said as he parked the car and turned to look at me.

"Thank you for the ride," I said, as I jumped out of the vehicle.

"I'm not finished. I will make you believe my feelings are real."

"Merry Christmas," I said before shutting the door and running down to the launch where Alexis was waiting with Sam and her girls.

"Hi Lulu, how are you feeling?" Alexis asked with concern.

"Exhausted. How are you?" I asked my brother's aunt.

"About the same."

"Hi Kristina, how are you?"

Kristina smiled at me before burying her face in her mother's pants. I greeted Sam who was holding Molly on her hip. Sam thanked me for helping find Spinelli. I told her it was no problem at all.

Lucky, Liz and Cameron arrived. "Hey Lu, did you go to Spencer's play?" Lucky asked.

I shook my head. "No, I talked to Dillon."

"How did that go?" Elizabeth asked.

"I don't think I can begin to describe it," I muttered.

"It went that bad?" Lucky asked.

"He, umm, well, he bought me a house," I confessed.

Elizabeth's eyebrows raised as I said that. "Really?"

"I don't know how to deal with him."

"What's wrong with getting a house?" Alexis asked.

"I don't want to be with him," I muttered.

"That was persuasive," Sam said gently.

"Okay, I want to be with him, but I can't be with him. He says it's for the baby and I to live in."

"Well how do you feel about that?" Lucky asked, as he readjusted Cameron on his hip.

"Confused."

The boat arrived and the eight of us climbed onto it. We arrived at Wyndemere and went directly into the house. "Hello," Lucky called. "Nikolas?" No one answered him. "Alfred?" he called again.

"I guess they are not back yet," Alexis said, as she removed her daughter's coat. We went into the dining room where the staff had set the table.

Suddenly Lucky's cell phone started to ring. He answered it quickly and listened intently. Then his phone plummeted to the floor.

"What's going on?" Elizabeth asked.

"Spencer was kidnapped," Lucky admitted.

"What?" Alexis exclaimed.

"That was Cruz. He said Spencer was taken from the pageant."

"Oh my God," Sam said. "Tell you what Alexis? I'll take Kristina and Molly home and you can go with these guys to see Nikolas."

Alexis nodded in agreement. "I'll be home later."

"Lulu what do you want to do?" Lucky asked.

"I'll take Cam, you and Elizabeth can go be with Nikolas and Emily. I'm not going to be any help. We all know that."

"All right," Elizabeth agreed, as I lifted Cam.

"I'll give you a ride," Sam offered.

"Thank you," I said before following her to get the kid's jackets. We got them redressed in their winter clothing and then Sam and I went out to the launch.

"Where do you need a ride to?" Sam asked.

"Elizabeth's Grandmother's house. That's where he has been staying."

"Okay," Sam said. "So when are you due?" she asked gently.

"The beginning of April."

"Are you excited?"

"Sometimes. I'm still getting used to the fact that I'm pregnant."

"I guess it was a bit of a shock, huh?"

"You can say that. I found out on my 18th birthday."

"Did you consider adoption?"

"Have you met the Quartermaines?"

"Well, what if it was adopted in the family?" Sam asked.

"Like you and Jason?"

"I was just wondering what they'd say to that."

"Edward would be over the moon if Jason had a child. He would forget any other children exist. So I don't think he'd be too upset, except for the fact that the child was being brought into the mob. That would drive him insane."

"Well, I wish you luck, but if you ever need any help. I would be more than happy to help you. Jason and I are trying to conceive."

"Congratulations," I offered.

"Thank you," she said. "So I would be more than happy to get some experience babysitting."

"Well, I might take you up on that. You are good with your sisters."

Sam smiled and helped me get Cameron's stuff out of the car. I carried him up the steps, as I waved goodbye to Sam and her little sisters.

Audrey opened the door and looked very concerned. "I wasn't expecting anyone for a while. What's going on?" she asked.

"Spencer was kidnapped," I explained as I set Cameron down and took off his coat.

"Oh my," Audrey exclaimed.

"Grams," Cameron shouted, as he ran over and hugged her.

"Do they have any idea who took him?"

"I don't know any of the details. I brought Cameron over here so Elizabeth and Lucky could go be with Nikolas and Emily."

"Do you want something to eat dear?" she asked, as she started to head towards the kitchen.

"I don't want to be any trouble."

"Well Cameron has to eat, so I don't mind."

"All right, something to eat would be wonderful."

Audrey, Cameron and I ate dinner together. Then I offered to put Cameron to bed, since I wanted to spend a little more time with him. I read him his favourite story and promised when he woke up Santa would come and bring him lots of presents. I kissed his head and he hugged me goodnight, before wishing me a Merry Christmas. I said the same to him and then left his room and went back downstairs.

Audrey was sitting with a cup of tea and a novel. "Is he in bed already?" she asked in surprise. "I didn't think he'd ever settle on the night before Christmas."

"He seemed pretty exhausted. Besides he knows that when he wakes up that Santa will have brought him presents."

Audrey smiled. "He's going to be up at four."

I laughed. "Well I'm going to head over to the precinct and find out what's going on."

"Would you mind keeping me updated?" she requested.

"I would be happy to," I said before leaving. I called Carly's house on my cell phone. Leticia answered the phone and I asked to speak to Carly. She told me Carly was with Nikolas, helping with the Spencer situation. I thanked her and then hailed a cab and got inside. I instructed the driver to take me to the PCPD. The cab driver nodded and did as I asked.

I went inside as soon as I got there. Nikolas was sitting at Lucky's desk looking like someone had kicked him in the face. Emily was sitting beside him and Elizabeth was on the other side. Carly grabbed my arm as soon as I entered.

"How's it going?" I asked.

"They're still searching. They've gone through tons of footage from the airport and bus stations, so far nothing though."

"What happened?" I asked.

"Sonny and I had went to put the boys in the car. We heard Nikolas shouting and went running back and found out that Spencer was gone."

"Nobody saw anything?"

"Not so far. Sonny's gone to get Stan on it. He's going to have his connections look into this whole situation. Especially since Helena was lurking around."

"Helena was back? It's never good when Helena shows up on scene."

"None of this is good," Carly sighed.

"Hey Lu," Lucky said as he approached us.

"Anything?" Carly asked hopefully.

Lucky shook his head. "We are just going through footage until we find something. You should go home and spend Christmas Eve with your boys. I will call you if we find anything."

"Promise?" Carly asked.

Lucky nodded. "I swear. If we find anything you'll be the first one I call."

"Okay, come on Lulu, you can come home with me," Carly offered.

"Lucky, tell Nikolas I'm sorry," I asked him gently.

"I will, have a nice night Lulu," Lucky said before quickly wrapping me in an embrace.

Carly took me back to her place. "You look exhausted," she said with concern. "Did you have a run in with Dillon?"

"Oh yes," I muttered.

"What happened?"

"He bought me a house."

Carly looked somewhat shocked when she turned her gaze over to me. "Wow."

"I don't even know how to handle him anymore. He seems to think he loves me now too."

"Does he intend to live with you in this house?"

"No, he said he got it for me and the baby, and unless I want him to, he won't live there."

"Well at least he's not pressuring you. Do you want to live by yourself with this child?"

"I have no clue how to care for a baby, so maybe it's not such a good idea. However, at some point I'm going to have to learn, so maybe it won't be so bad."

"Well do what's right for you, not what Dillon wants you to do."

"I will. No matter how much energy I drain."

"You need to take it easy. Do I need to send you to another hotel for a week?"

"No, I have to face him and prove to myself that I can be strong."

"That's a good attitude, but don't push yourself to your limit."

"I won't."

I quickly called Audrey to update her and then finally went to bed and slipped immediately into unconsciousness. I was absolutely exhausted.


	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with General Hospital.  
**

**A/N: Wow this chapter was considerably difficult to write without the motivation from the show. I spend a great portion of my time watching Dilu mvids on Youtube when I hit writers block but so many have been deleted that its getting harder to find something to motivate me. I absolutely cannot stand what Dillon has been reduced to in order to make room for Logan. I think it's unforgivable. Its one thing to not put them together, its quite another to ruin everything they ever had. I still can't talk about the date that they went on without getting extremely angry. It was just too much. I have never come closer to shutting off my television screen. I cannot believe that we're supposed to buy that Dillon forgot everything he knew about her and she stopped caring for him at all. The writers may as well have picked up a blunt object and hit me over the head with it. Anyway, it's best for me to not start ranting or this author's note will be three pages. This chapter isn't as in character as I wanted it to be but its filler for what's coming up. I promise its going to get better, as soon as I stop getting called in for double shifts at work. **

To Choose Life

Chapter 23

A week had passed since Spencer had been kidnapped and it was now New Years Eve. Nikolas and Emily had flown to Denver after Colleen, who was Spencer's old nanny. She was the only suspect so far.

Lucky hadn't left the precinct once, trying to assist Nikolas as best as he could. I was worried about my nephew, but I was also terrified I was becoming too stressed for the baby.

I had stayed with Carly for the week and she still had Sonny searching for more information. Sonny had body guards on call in case Nikolas needed help; all someone had to do was let Sonny know.

However, so far we had no good news. It didn't look good for Spencer and the thought of losing him made me sick. I thought of my unborn child and wondered what kind of world I was bringing it into. I felt more protective than ever. I would not let anything happen to my baby for as long as my heart was beating and there was breath in my body, even if that meant avoiding Dillon. As I contemplated my stance on my relationship with Dillon someone knocked on Carly's front door. I rolled off the couch to open it. Dillon stood on the front step shifting his weight from side to side nervously. Before I could say anything Michael came running downstairs. "Is Spencer back?" he asked optimistically.

"No Michael. I'm sorry. He's not back yet," I explained. He frowned and ran back upstairs.

"I'm sorry about your nephew," Dillon offered.

"Me too," I said, as I stepped to the side so he could come in.

"How are you feeling?" he questioned timidly.

"I can't stop worrying about Spencer," I admitted.

"Is there anything I can do to take your mind off of it? Perhaps a New Years party?"

"I don't think we should go to parties together anytime soon," I said as I sat back down to keep a distance between us. "I don't really feel like being around a lot of people tonight anyway. I'll probably just hang out with Liz and Lucky."

"We don't have to go to a party but can we at least hang out? I miss you."

I dropped my gaze to the floor and scuffed my toe against the hardwood. I wrapped my arms around my body as a form of protection. The baby kicked in response. "Promise you won't talk about us? No kissing me at the stroke of midnight?"

"I'll keep my hands off of you. I just want to hang out."

"All right."

Dillon smiled. "Okay, we need some movies. Any suggestions?"

"I'll leave that up to you."

"I'll be back around 7:00 okay?"

"Okay, I'll see you then," I agreed. I watched Dillon get up and leave, then I frowned. "Your father is way too persuasive," I whispered to my belly.

Carly entered the room. "What's going on?"

"Dillon wanted to hang out with me tonight."

"And?"

"I gave in."

"Want me to send over Milo?"

"I don't need any other men in my life."

"The boys are going to go over to Sonny's. I'll probably join them since Jax isn't here."

"When is he expected to come home?" I asked delicately.

"When he finds his brother. I'd just be happy if he called me."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I can wait," she said gently.

Once Carly and the boys had left, I showered and got ready for the evening. I don't know why I still cared so much about my appearance. It wasn't like I could remove the giant bulge of my stomach.

Dillon arrived at 7:00 and I opened the door for him. He had a pile of movies in his hand and food. "I brought dinner," he announced. I helped him with his stuff as he came in.

"What movies did you get?" I asked gently.

"Classic Hitchcock."

"An Alfred Hitchcock marathon?"

"I got others ones too. I figured you could pick out the ones you wanted to watch."

"Our child is going to be such an idealist."

"Are you kidding? Your cynicism will definitely be the dominant allele."

"Funny," I muttered in response. Dillon smiled.

"Do you really think we're having a girl?" Dillon asked.

"I have no idea. I just have this feeling that it's a baby girl. She was a girl in all of my dreams."

"You dream about our baby?" he asked excitedly.

"Of course I do. The kid is growing inside of me."

"I love how much you love this. No matter how much you try and pretend you don't."

"I warn you Dillon, if you tell anyone…"

"Your secret's safe with me."

"Good," I said as a smile spread across my face.

The baby starting kicking wildly with excitement. I set the movies down and grabbed my stomach. "Are you okay?" Dillon asked with concern.

"The baby is happy you're here."

"Can I feel it or does that break my promise of keeping my hands off of you?"

"You can feel your child," I assured him. He smiled and reached out and touched the movement on my stomach.

"It's getting stronger," he exclaimed.

"The baby is growing."

"Does it keep you awake?"

"Oh yes."

"Quartermaine genes."

"I'd say."

Dillon laughed, as he leaned his head closer to my stomach. "Okay little one, if you keep your mother awake much longer she's going to kill me," he said softly. "Hold off keeping her awake until you're born so you can use how cute you are to get away with it and keep me alive. I want to get to know you."

I smiled as the kicking slowly eased and the baby seemed to relax to his voice. "It's working. Great you're already conspiring with the child."

He placed his hand against my stomach again. "That's it. Just wait until you're born."

"The baby likes your voice. I think she knows you are her father."

"You think so?"

"What else would explain it?"

"Maybe you calm when I'm around so the baby feels able to relax?"

"I doubt it," I muttered. Dillon ignored me and handed me some food. He turned on the movie and sat down beside me.

I brought in two glasses of milk and we ate together. Together we sat while I pretended I didn't still love him and Dillon pretended that he did love me.

The night sped by in a blur. We ate popcorn and ice cream and had an awesome time. I remembered every single reason of why I destroyed Dillon and Georgie's marriage in the first place.

Eventually I fell asleep in the middle of Psycho. I awoke in Dillon's arms as he carried me to my bed. I didn't let on that I was awake and reveled in the feeling of being held in his arms. He placed me onto the bed and kissed my stomach. "Good night baby," he whispered, before leaving the room. As soon as he left I let the tears spill down my face. Every time I saw him speaking to our baby my love for him grew much stronger. My heart truly wanted to trust him and let us raise the baby as a family, but my brain knew better. I had to make the best choice for our baby and not for me, no matter how much my heart shattered in the process.

I opened my eyes, and looked around my room. I climbed out of my bed and went downstairs. Carly and the boys were sitting in the living room.

"Did Dillon spend the night?" Carly asked.

"No, he went home around midnight." My cell phone started ringing. "Speak of the devil," I muttered, as I flipped open the phone.

"How are you feeling?" Dillon asked before I'd even said hello.

"Fine," I answered.

"I don't like how tired you are," he said.

"Sorry," I answered. "I'm just worried about Spencer.

"At what cost?"

"I am taking care of myself and this baby. You don't need to worry. I go back to work tomorrow and everything will be fine."

"Fine do you want to have lunch with me today?" he asked.

"I can't. I'm having lunch with Carly," I lied. Carly looked up at me and shook her head. "I've got to go. Can we talk later?" I asked.

"Okay, I'll call you later."

I hung up my phone and dropped onto the couch next to Morgan. He came over and cuddled me. "Morning Morgan," I whispered. He put his head on my stomach to hug the baby. "Do you like your cousin?" I asked.

Morgan nodded excitedly. "The baby," he said, as he touched my stomach.

"That's right Morgan. Lulu is having a baby and that baby is going to be your cousin," Carly said.

"I thought Lulu was your cousin," Michael said to his mother.

"Lulu is my cousin," Carly explained. "So that makes you her second cousin. This child will be your second cousin once removed."

"What?" Michael asked in confusion.

"It's confusing, I know," Carly said.

"I don't understand it either," Lulu said with a laugh. "If your uncle Lucas had kids, those children would be your first cousins."

"Is Uncle Lucas having a baby?" Michael asked.

"No, that was just an example," Carly said. "Just like Spencer is your aunt Courtney's child, so he is your first cousin."

"I understand first cousins, its second cousins that confuse me," Michael said.

Carly made another attempt to explain it and then gave up when Michael still didn't understand. Someone knocked on the door and Carly threw it open. "Can I help you?" she asked bitterly.

"I'm here to see Lulu," Elizabeth said. Carly stepped out of the way to let Liz come inside.

"Aunt Lulu," Cameron squealed. Elizabeth set him down and he ran over into my arms.

"Hi Cameron," I said, as I hugged his little body.

"What you doing?" Cameron asked.

"Nothing, what are you doing?" I asked.

"Goin' to the park," Cameron said proudly.

"I wanted to know if you wanted to come," Elizabeth said.

"Can I go?" Morgan asked. I looked at Carly and she nodded.

"Sure you can come Morgan. Michael do you want to come?" I asked.

"No thanks. I'm going to stay here."

I helped Morgan get his winter clothes on and then the four of us went to the park. The boys ran off to play together and I took a seat beside Liz on the bench. "Any word on Spencer?" I asked.

"Not yet. They are in Denver and are searching all of the daycares in the area. So far he hasn't shown up."

"I'm so worried about him."

"Me too, but there isn't anything we can do."

We spent two hours at the park and then we took the boys over to Kelly's for chocolate chip cookies and milk. "I thought you were having lunch with Carly," Dillon said, as he came over to the table.

"Liz and I decided to take the boys out instead," I explained.

"Are you avoiding me?" he asked.

"No, I'm just spending time with my family, while we wait on news about Spencer."

"Is there any news?"

"Only that Emily and Nikolas are in Denver."

"Can I talk to you alone for a moment?"

I frowned but agreed and followed him to a table in the back. "What's going on?"

"Spinelli wants to know how the investigation into Rick Webber's death is going. He wants to know if you've given up."

"I haven't even thought about it since I'd heard my nephew was kidnapped."

"Did you want to hold off on the investigation?"

"No that might help me get my mind off of Spencer's kidnapping."

"You have to promise me one thing."

"Okay, what?"

"You have to take it easy and start to relax."

"I'm trying."

"I know you are but I can't help but worry about you and our child."

"I'll meet you and Spinelli here tomorrow when I get off work."

"Okay, so 5:30?"

"Yeah, that will work."

I smiled at him. He touched my hand as I stood up and then I went back to sit with Liz and the boys. "Is everything okay?" Liz asked.

"Everything is fine. He just needed to ask me something."

"How is the baby?"

"Active. Very active."

"So that's what I have to look forward to with the Spencer genes."

"Of course not. It's best to blame the Quartermaine genes."

Liz smiled. "I'm glad you are pregnant with me. We need to do something together. How about we go out shopping next week?"

"That sounds fun," I agreed, finally having something to look forward to that didn't involve Dillon.


	24. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with General Hospital.**

**A/N: I've lost the energy to rant any longer about what Guza has done to Dilu. As much as I want to get it off my chest, the rant would be longer than the chapter. At least their fans still remember what they had, even if Guza has conveniently forgotten. **

To Choose Life

Chapter 24

As I arrived at work the next morning, I breathed a sigh of relief. It was finally something worthwhile to take my mind off of Dillon, Spencer and my pregnancy. I sat down in my desk and began listening to my messages.

It was only two hours into my shift when someone knocked on my door. I ended my call with a client and then told the person to enter. Much to my chagrin it was a bouquet of flowers. I mentally pictured impaling Dillon. I signed for them and tipped the delivery guy. I reached for the card and began to read it. "_Please have lunch with me today. I just want to hang out with you. Dillon_"

I stood up and went to Carly's office. "Help me," I moaned.

"Dillon? Wow did he take a page from Sonny's book?" Carly asked.

"Will you come to lunch with us?"

"You're going with him?"

"If I don't, then I'll just keep avoiding him and that won't be good for the baby."

"All right but you need to tell Dillon how you feel."

"I did and he's not really pressuring me into being anything more than friends. He just always wants to hang out and have things be like they used to be. I don't think he understands how hard it is for me to be around him. I'm still in love with him."

"How do you know he doesn't love you?"

"Because I stood there while he screamed it at me when I had almost had the abortion."

"Lulu, that was months ago during a tough situation. You can't base everything on that."

"I know Dillon didn't mean it, but the fact is that if he was capable of saying it then obviously he doesn't love me like I want him to."

Carly frowned. "You can't close off from everyone in fear of what might happen."

"I am protecting my child. My child has to come first. I would have taken Dillon back if it was just me. Hell I would still be warming his bed, but my child can't grow up thinking she has both parents and then when Dillon takes off, have her always wonder why her father never loved her enough."

"Dillon is not Luke."

"This is not about my father."

"Are you sure?"

"It doesn't matter. I am doing what is best."

"Well I can't tell you what to do. I just want you to be happy."

"I have to get back to my office. I'll meet you here at noon."

"I'll see you then."

I went back to my desk and called Dillon to let him know I'd meet him for lunch. I thanked him for the flowers and then tried to tell him he didn't need to do things like that. He told me he liked to and then said he had to get back to work. I bid him good bye and got back to work, suddenly overcome with a sense of doom at the prospect of lunch with him.

At noon I met Carly in the lobby. Dillon arrived and came towards us. "Carly is joining us," I explained.

"I hope that is okay," Carly interjected.

"Its fine by me," Dillon offered.

We all got into the elevator. "So when is your next appointment?" Carly asked.

"At the end of the week," I explained.

"Are you going to find out what you're having?" she asked.

I turned to Dillon. "I hadn't even thought about it."

"It's up to you," Dillon responded. "If you want to know then we'll find out."

"I want to know," I answered.

The baby kicked gently. "Don't you ever sleep," I moaned.

Carly and Dillon smiled. The elevator doors slid open and we went into the restaurant. I hobbled to the nearest table. "Are you okay?" Dillon asked.

"My feet are swelling," I complained. "One of the many joys of being pregnant."

"One of them for sure," Carly agreed. "Of course labour takes the cake as the most joy you'll have while pregnant. Dillon, be prepared for a broken hand that day."

Dillon smiled. "Well I think I can handle a broken hand with what she has to go through. If I complained I have no doubt in my mind that Lulu would kill me."

"Smart man," I muttered, just before the waiter approached us to take our drink orders. I ordered a lemonade.

Once the waiter disappeared, Carly tried to shift the focus off of me and the pregnancy by asking Dillon what he did at ELQ. He explained how Edward had set up the internship and I listened attentively.

The time passed quickly and the waiter returned with our drinks and took our orders. "So have you discussed names?" Carly asked.

"No. I don't even want to begin to think about it," I muttered.

"We should probably start," Dillon said. "You are almost six months pregnant."

"We will. We still have more than three months."

"Is it going to start with an 'L'?" Carly asked teasingly.

"Hell no," I said with a laugh. "It will definitely not."

Carly smiled. "Way to kill a family tradition."

"I'm killing it with a vengeance."

As the time passed, I actually found myself having fun with Carly and Dillon. Our lunch was really good and it was nice to have real conversations that didn't center around my feelings for Dillon, my fear of this pregnancy or how worried I was about Spencer.

After lunch Carly and I returned to our desks while Dillon left to go back to ELQ. I threw myself back into work and didn't even notice the time slip by until my shift was over.

Carly came to my office to offer me a ride home. A part of me wanted to keep working, an excellent avoidance strategy. Instead I told her I had plans to meet someone at Kelly's and she said she'd see me when I got home.

I stood up from my desk and stretched my back. My muscles resisted with pulsations of pain but I tried to ignore them. I hobbled over the to the coat rack and threw on my jacket before heading over to Kelly's.

The place was warm when I entered and I rubbed my hands together to warm them as I inhaled the sweet scent of cinnamon. Mike called me over and asked what I was having. I received a dirty look from Georgie, as I ordered an herbal tea and muffin.

I turned around to avoid another one of Georgie's evil stares and noticed Spinelli waiting at a table and waving me over. "Evening Blonde one," he greeted me as I sat down.

"Hi Spinelli."

"I hope you had a nice holiday."

"Besides my nephew being kidnapped, I had a good time."

"I'm sorry," he offered.

"Here's your order," Georgie spat, as she sat it down on the table.

"Georgie seriously, I didn't do anything this time. I'm sorry you guys broke up but this isn't my fault. I didn't intentionally get pregnant."

"Well I guess you should have had the abortion then."

"That's not your decision. I seem to recall you telling me it was mine."

"Look, have your perfect life with Dillon, but leave me out of it."

"When did I bring you into it? Sorry my family owns the place you work at and I happen to frequent it. It doesn't mean that you can treat me like the garbage off the street."

"Don't tell me what I can and cannot do."

"I'm sorry that things didn't work out with you and Dillon. I really am. It's nice to know you were only nice to me to score points with him. You are a two faced bitch and I don't want anything to do with you. So please for the sake of my child, stay the hell away from me."

"Gladly. I hope something goes seriously wrong and you get what you deserve."

"HEY," Dillon exclaimed. "You stay the hell away from Lulu. You want to be mad Georgie then you be mad at me, but you have no right to threaten Lulu or our child. They don't concern you. Yeah you got hurt but wishing harm upon a baby or that child's mother. What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Don't Dillon. Don't act all self righteous," she cried. "You have been looking for an excuse to be with Lulu since last summer. You left me for her."

"I loved you at one time. That was before your little emotional affair with Diego. That was before the lies and the protection of the man that tried to frame me and hurt my niece and your sister. You didn't have to sleep with him because you may as well have."

"I didn't, unlike you who jumped into bed with Lulu at your first opportunity."

"Enough," I shouted. "You two want to rehash everything, that's fine but my blood pressure doesn't need it and neither does this child. Georgie your little problems just aren't my concern. They pale in comparison to my nephews kidnapping. Sorry you got hurt. Sorry I hurt you. Sorry Dillon doesn't love you anymore. However, I want you out of my life."

"What life? The one you stole from me? The one you lied and cheated for?"

Her words hurt and I felt the tears start to burn. "Spinelli do you mind taking Lulu away for a minute so I can have a word with my ex wife?" Dillon asked bitterly.

Spinelli took my arm and led me to another table. He brought over my tea and muffin and sat me down. "What a bitch?" he muttered.

"It's okay. I did some horrible things to her last summer. That's the reason I'm pregnant. She gets to be bitter."

"She wasn't bitter, that was downright nasty."

"Do you have a nickname for her?"

"The only thing that comes to mind is the wicked witch from the west."

I grinned. "The only thing missing is her flying monkeys."

"I am so sorry about her," Dillon said as he sat down.

"It's okay. It's not like I didn't bring it on."

"You don't have to put up with her. She makes Maxie seem tame."

"Where is Maxie lately?" I suddenly asked. "I haven't seen her since before Christmas."

"You heard about her miscarriage, right?" Dillon asked.

"She had a miscarriage?"

"She fell down the stairs."

"What? When?"

"While you were away for work."

"Dillon why didn't you tell me?"

"I just assumed Lucky, Liz, or Carly would have."

"I feel so horrible. I was horrible to her. I accused her of faking her pregnancy."

"So what? She was horrible to you too."

"For good reason."

"She fed your brother pills to get him into bed."

"What the hell is this place?" Spinelli suddenly interrupted. "It's like right out of a soap opera."

Dillon and I laughed. "The town is odd, but it has its moments," I said. "Besides once you start to know everyone things will finally become understandable."

"She's right. People here can be crazy but they're fiercely loyal to what they believe in."

"You've met Dillon's family. It's a town of Dillon's family," I said.

Spinelli laughed. "So Rick Webber's murder; do you have anything for me?"

"Nothing new from when we last met."

"Okay, well we should keep digging on Alan," Spinelli suggested.

"That sounds like an idea," I agreed.

We started reiterating everything we knew to ensure we were all on the same page. Then Spinelli's cell rang and he said Jason needed him. He said we'd meet up in a few days and left.

"I can't believe Maxie lost her baby. I feel like the worst person in the world."

Dillon reached over and took my hand. "You're not. You never told her you wished she would lose her baby. It's not your fault. She fell and the baby is gone. That's it."

"What if I lose this baby? I can only imagine what it feels like to lose the baby growing inside of you," I said, as I touched my stomach.

"You're not going to ever have to know. Our baby is fine and you're doing everything you can to keep our baby safe. If it makes you feel better, avoid stairs."

I smiled at him. "What are we going to name our baby?"

"What names do you like?"

"It can't start with an L," I explained.

"How about Tracy?" he teased. I burst out laughing.

"I don't want to name our child after anyone in town. I want our child to have his/her own identity."

"Okay any suggestions?"

"Do you like the name Grace?"

"Grace Laura?" he asked. "I think that's cute."

"What about Grace-Lynn Laura?"

"Grace – Lynn?"

"Dillon it sounds like Graceland, which is Elvis' home."

Dillon furrowed his eyebrows and held back his laughter. "I don't want our child named after Elvis, the real one or the made up one."

"That was my idea for a boy's name," I teased.

"I'll take Grace or Gracie but not Grace Lynn."

"Fine. I only liked it because it sounded like Graceland."

"I have an idea. I'll buy a name book and this week we'll get together and go through it."

"It sounds like a plan," I agreed. "I should get going. I want to call Lucky and check on Spencer's status."

"Okay, I'll talk to you later."

"Later," I responded before pulling my jacket over my shoulders and leaving the building.


	25. Chapter 25

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with General Hospital.**

**A/N: When I started this chapter, I had no intention of it going in this direction. I was going to keep writing angst for a while, but for some reason this just felt right. This story is no where near completion but this chapter had to happen this way. Thank you to my loyal readers. I hope you all enjoy it. **

To Choose Life

Chapter 25

A week had passed and it was the day of yet another appointment. I got off work early and Dillon met me at the hospital. The smile on his face spread from ear to ear when I got off the elevator.

"Afternoon," he greeted me.

"Are you excited to learn what we're having?"

"I cannot wait," he exclaimed. "After today we're going to know whether we're going to have a little boy or a little girl."

"Do you have a preference?"

"I don't care either way. I just want a healthy baby."

"Me too," I agreed, before rubbing my hand against my belly.

"I bought a name book. What do you say about going out for something to eat after the appointment and looking through it?"

I turned to meet Dillon's gaze and felt my heart flutter for a moment at the innocent excitement in his face. "I'd love to," I heard myself saying before I'd even taken a moment to consider it.

Dillon's grin only widened. "Lulu, I'm ready for you now," Dr. Lee called to me.

I went in to her office and she did a quick examination before inviting Dillon in to do the sonogram. "So do you want to find out what you're having?" she asked politely.

"Yes we do," Dillon said.

I nodded in agreement and the doctor smiled before spreading the cool gel across my abdomen and then pressing the wand against my skin. I listened to my child's steady heartbeat as we all stared at the little monitor. I watched my baby's little movements and couldn't contain my emotion. I wiped away the tears that slid down my face before Dillon turned to look at me. "I love our baby," he whispered.

"Me too," I agreed.

"You are having a little baby… girl," Dr. Lee said. She started pointing at the screen and explaining things but I could no longer hear her. I still heard the world 'girl' playing over and over in my mind. I imagined my baby swaddled in pink blankets and then the little girl with flowing blonde hair and my mother's blue eyes. I imagined the little girl who had the Spencer stubborn streak but Dillon's quirky, idealistic personality. I started to cry hard and when Dillon looked at me there was nothing that could stop our mouths from crashing together in a kiss. His right hand cupped my face as our tongues fought for dominance.

Suddenly we pulled apart both embarrassed and feeling a sense of overexcitement at the prospect of our little girl.

Dr. Lee started to talk about a few other things and I listened intently before she told us we could go. I thanked her for everything before following Dillon out into the hallway. "I'm sorry…" he started.

"Lets not talk about the kiss. Let's talk about our little girl. Besides I believe I was promised something to eat."

"I can't believe we're having a girl. I mean I know you kept saying we were but to know for sure. I just can't wait to hold my daughter and she's going to look like you. I'm going to have to beat the boys away with a stick."

"Already protective," I teased. "Good; because no boys are getting within three yards of her."

Dillon grinned again and I couldn't help but smile at his smile.

"Do you know what you're having?" Elizabeth exclaimed as she jumped out of the nurse's station.

"Maybe," I said playfully.

"Are you going to tell me?"

"Lucky would be devastated if you found out first."

"Well then you are just going to have to come to dinner."

"It would be nice if the whole family could be there," I said.

"Tell you what, you just show up and I'll arrange for the whole family to be there?"

"You really want to know?"

"Damn straight," she answered.

"Dillon, do you want to go to dinner tonight?"

"I'd love to," he said.

"All right, you'll all find out the gender of our child this evening."

Elizabeth looked like she was going to start jumping around the hospital with excitement. I was just as excited though, I just hid it better.

Dillon followed me out of the hospital. "Are you sure you're okay with this?" I asked. "I should have asked you first."

"Are you kidding? I want to shout this from the rooftops. I feel like one of those parents that is always showing pictures of their kids from their wallet."

"Dillon you are one of those parents."

"And so are you. Don't even deny it."

"Shut up."

We went over to Kelly's for our food and Dillon brought in his baby name book, which he held in his hands like the Holy Grail. Much to my chagrin, Georgie would be serving us.

"What can I get you?" she asked politely.

"Are you going to poison my food?"

She gave me a dirty look. "Yes, Lulu. I figured I'd make a habit of trying to kill you now."

"What happened to you being nice?" I asked with irritation. "When did you and Maxie trade places?"

"Don't you dare speak about Maxie. You have no right to ever utter her name again."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm very sorry about your sister's miscarriage. I really am," I said sincerely.

"It should have been you," Georgie muttered, her words like ice. As she said it I imagined something happening to my little girl and my world felt like it shattered. I started to cry again.

"You bitch," Dillon spat. "How dare you say something about a baby like that? What the hell happened to you? Did you have a lobotomy while I wasn't looking?"

Mike came over immediately. "Lulu what is the matter?" he asked.

"I just don't appreciate your waitress telling me my baby should die."

"I didn't mean it that way…" Georgie started to protest.

"What?" Mike asked absolutely horrified. "You said that?"

"I meant I wish Lulu was suffering like Maxie."

"You wished harm upon her unborn child?" he exclaimed, dumbfounded.

"Yeah she did," Dillon retorted.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way."

"Georgie I don't think you can work here anymore," Mike started.

"No Mike don't. Georgie is just protecting Maxie like I did Lucky. I know she hates me but please don't also make me the cause of her losing her job. Please," I begged.

Mike turned to look at Georgie and then back at me. "Do you have something you want to say?" he demanded of Georgie.

"I'm very sorry for what I said. I don't wish harm upon your product of an affair with my husband."

"Very big of you," I muttered coldly.

Georgie stalked away and Mike apologized several times. I told him that he didn't need to and when he left I met Dillon's gaze. "I am so sorry," he said.

"Dillon you didn't do anything wrong."

"Yeah I did. I chose her over you back in the summer. That was the worst decision I ever made. If I could take everything back I would."

"You loved her and I ruined your relationship. You both get to be pissed and hate me. If I wasn't the mother of your child, you wouldn't be here."

"We both know that isn't true."

"Do we really? Then how come every time something intimate happens b/w us it happens because of the baby?"

"Because that's the only time you let your guard down long enough to let me in. I love you Lulu, not because you're the mother of my child, but because you are the center of my universe. You amaze me every day and every day I find myself falling more in love with you. I don't care if you don't believe me because I know it's true. I'm not going anywhere. Whether we are co parents or together nothing will change, you are everything to me. You and our daughter."

I brushed the tears from my eyes. It felt like floodgates had suddenly opened on my emotions. I couldn't stop myself from pulling on his tie and bringing his mouth to mine. Dillon tossed money on the table and led me out of the building. We made it to his car and he pressed me against the door as his tongue explored my mouth fervently.

"I love you," he whispered when we pulled apart.

"I love you too," I confessed. "Promise you won't leave me or our baby."

"I swear to you that as long as I can breathe and my heart is beating that you and our children will always come first. You are my life. I'm not going anywhere. I am not your father nor will I ever be."

Dillon decided to take me elsewhere for lunch. We arrived at the tiny quaint café I had went with my mother during her temporary recovery. "I wanted somewhere we could be alone with no pressure from the people we know. Now we can just be together," Dillon explained.

"You're such a romantic. Did I ever tell you that that is what love most about you?" I asked.

"Want to know what I love most about you?"

"Let me guess, my calm, enthusiastic, positive, sensitive, honest and innocent personality?" I teased.

"You're feisty, loyal, beautiful, loving, vulnerable personality. I love the way you fight for what is right and stop at nothing to achieve what makes you happy. I love the way you love me. I love the way you smile. I love the way I feel when I'm around you, like I'm free to be me. I love the way you twist your hair when you're nervous. I love the way you love our baby. I love every single thing about you Lulu Spencer."

I smiled at him, as I clutched his hand and rubbed my fingers against the skin on his palm. "What if I don't live up to that perfect ideal in your head?"

"Oh you exceeded it. I know you're not perfect and there are things that drive me nuts about you, but they really only make me love you more. Georgie was this perfect ideal. The way to end a perfect little love story, but who the hell would pay to watch it? It wasn't real. It was a fantasy. She was my first love but she isn't the woman I want. What she and I had can never, and will never, compare to what we have. Even when you're infuriating, I only find a reason to love you more than I already do."

"Well I don't know. Elvis and I had a good thing going…"

"Imaginary boyfriends, I imagine, are always the best. They don't knock you up."

"Well I'm glad you did. We are in for a lot of trouble and sleepless nights but I already love her and even when things get tough I won't ever regret choosing life."

After our lunch I followed Dillon back out to the car. I was just about to climb inside when my cell phone rang. I checked the caller ID and was ecstatic when I saw Nikolas' name.

"Hey Nik," I answered.

"Hi Lulu," he said somberly.

"Any news on Spencer?"

"No we're still looking, but I hear you have some. Elizabeth phoned me to tell me today was your appointment. I'm sorry I've missed so much of your pregnancy."

"Don't worry about me. We're fine."

"Since I won't be able to make it tonight, I was hoping maybe you could give me something positive like telling me the gender of your baby. I promise Em and I will keep it to ourselves until you tell everyone else."

"Are you sure hearing about my pregnancy is what you need right now?"

"I need some happy news Lu."

"Okay. Dillon and I are expecting a little… baby… girl."

"I'm going to have a niece?" Nikolas exclaimed.

"I am really excited Nik. I've never been so scared and excited at the same time."

"You're going to be an amazing mother Lulu and Lucky and I will always be there to help you."

"I'm so sick about Spencer though."

"I think we're getting close Lu. There are only a few more daycares left to check. We're doing that tomorrow."

"I won't give up hope. You're going to bring him home."

"I will never give up on my son. I'll call you again soon okay?"

"Thanks for calling me."

"Any time. I love you little sister."

"I love you too."


	26. Chapter 26

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with General Hospital.**

**A/N: I finally got a few free minutes to work on my stories. Work is insane right now. Sorry for the delay, I swear I'm working on all of them. **

To Choose Life

Chapter 26

After hanging up the phone with my brother, I maneuvered myself into the car with Dillon. "Who was that?" Dillon asked absently as he put the car into gear.

"Nikolas."

"Any news?" he asked with a tinge of hope laced into his voice.

"He wanted to know the sex of our baby so I told him. He promised to keep it between himself and Emily until everyone else found out."

Dillon smiled sadly. "I hope he finds Spencer soon."

"Me too." I dropped my head and pictured my little nephew who was lost out in the world somewhere. I had taken him for granted the last few months. I suddenly realized the last time I held him would be the last. I started to cry.

"He's going to find him Lu. We have to have faith. Our daughter needs her big cousin."

"What if he doesn't? What if something happens and Spencer is gone forever?"

"You can't think like that. You need to stay positive for Nikolas and for Spencer."

"You of all people should know I'm not very good at positive."

"Do it for our daughter," he suggested.

"Our daughter; I love the sound of that."

"What do you want to do until this dinner?"

"I have to get ready."

"What do you need like half an hour?"

"Half an hour?" I exclaimed. "In what universe?"

"What are you sewing your own clothes?"

"Dillon, do not complain to a pregnant woman about the time it takes her to get ready or she will be getting ready for your funeral. I have a lot of extra weight to carry around. I have swollen feet and a throbbing back. I will take as much time as I need. If that is three hours then I will be ready in three hours."

"Will it help if I rub your back?"

I turned to him with a smile. "It will definitely help."

Dillon parked the car in front of Carly's and followed me inside. Michael and Morgan were sitting on the floor playing monopoly with Leticia. "Hi Lulu," Michael greeted me as I came inside.

"Hi? How was school?"

"Boring as usual."

"Oh, okay well Dillon and I are going to be upstairs if you need us."

Morgan nodded as Michael did and then Dillon and I disappeared up the stairway. Once in my room, I pulled him to me. His mouth pressed against mine, as he gently pushed me back onto the bed. I pulled him onto me.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked. "We should talk about this."

"Talk about what?"

"Well last time we slept together, you got upset. I don't want to push you."

"You're not pushing me. We're together and I want this."

"Being together with someone isn't all about sex."

"Well how else am I going to be sure that you'll stay?" the words slipped out of my mouth before I could stop them.

"Whoa," Dillon said as he pulled away. "Is that what you think? Do you really believe that I will only stay with you as long as you are having sex with me?"

"That's what love is."

"No it's not. I know that you don't have parents around to show you but you can't honestly believe that the basis of love is sex."

"Love ends Dillon. Love falls apart. It shatters and people leave. I don't know how else to ensure that you will stay."

"Lulu what is this about? Is this about your parents? Is this about Lucky and Elizabeth? Is it about Nikolas and Emily?"

"See love doesn't last."

"It does last. People have problems it doesn't mean that you stop loving someone. Love is about more than warming someone's bed. It's about feeling connected to a person. It's about wanting to be around that person all of the time. It's about feeling like a better person in their presence. It's about wanting to spend the rest of your life with someone. It's about them making you smile and making you cry."

"Sounds good in a movie but what about real life?"

"This is real life. I love you not because you sleep with me, but because I love the person that you are. You have become a part of me Lulu. You are someone that I can't live without. If we didn't have sex ever again, I still wouldn't leave your side. I know you're afraid to believe that, but you need to. You need to trust me."

"How can I trust the guy that slept with me and then jumped back into Georgie's arms and called me a selfish bitch?"

My words stung. I saw it in his eyes. "You're right, I was horrible to you. I was an absolute idiot and I take full responsibility. I didn't realize the depth of my feelings for you until it was too late; until I had hurt you. However it doesn't change how I feel about you now. I may have been a jackass when you considered having an abortion, but I am asking you to forgive me for everything I said and did so we can start our life together. I don't love Georgie; I love you."

"What if you change your mind? What if you and Georgie find your way back together?"

"I'll admit I loved Georgie when I was sick last year. I thought I wanted to spend my life with her and there is a chance if I had, I never would have realized how miserable I was. I have never been happier than I am with you. I have never felt this way about anyone, not even Georgie. You've taught me to live my own life instead of the one I dreamed about. I love what I can have with you and our daughter. That is the life I want, not the one I could have had with Georgie. She doesn't make me happy like you do."

I pushed Dillon back onto the bed and straddled him. "Are you sure you want this?" he asked patiently.

I nodded. "I want you. I need you. I love you…" they were the last words I uttered before Dillon had rolled me beneath him and ran his hands across my trembling body.

"You're shivering," he whispered.

"I'm not cold, I just really want this," I breathed.

He smiled. "I love you Lu."

This time we took our time. His hands roamed over every inch of my exposed flesh. I had never felt safer and happier. His tongue caressed mine as our bodies came together again and of course afterward I got my promised back massage. I melted beneath his touch.

XXXXX

As soon as I was ready Dillon and I went downstairs to find Carly on the phone. She winked at me from across the room and I suddenly wondered what was going on. "Are you ready?" she asked.

"For what?"

"Dinner."

"I thought it didn't start for another hour."

"It starts in half an hour and I want to be early."

"You want to be early for Lucky and Elizabeth's?" I asked with shock resonating in my voice.

"No Elizabeth and I were talking and we decided it would be best to hold it at the Metro Court."

"Wait you and Elizabeth were talking?"

"See and you thought you didn't bring this family together," Carly teased.

"How many people are we talking?" I suddenly asked.

"Not too many," Carly said evasively.

Dillon and I exchanged a nervous look.

"Well we should get going. Do you want to ride with the boys and me or with Dillon?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Go with Carly because I have a stop to make," Dillon suggested.

"Okay," I agreed. I watched Dillon leave and then turned to see Carly's curious smile.

"So anything exciting happen today?" she asked suspiciously.

"We found out the sex of our child."

"Anything else?" she questioned.

I couldn't contain the smile that spread across my face any longer. "Promise you won't tell anyone?"

"I'm good with secrets. You should know that."

"Dillon and I got back together."

"I know I just wanted to hear you say it."

I tossed a pillow at her when she laughed. "It's about time Lulu."

"I'm really scared though Carly. I love Dillon so much but I'm terrified he doesn't love me as much in return. Georgie and I got into a bit of an argument today…"

"Do you really think Georgie's a threat?"

"I don't know what to think. I mean she told me she wished it had been me that had had the miscarriage and not Maxie."

"That doesn't sound like Georgie."

"I know. She's been really hostile lately."

"Well Lulu you won and this time things didn't work out Georgie's way. I guess she's just acting accordingly. You should be reveling in the fact that after all of this time Dillon chose you over her."

"Or did Dillon settle for me when Georgie became unavailable?"

"Considering Georgie seems to be the most upset, I'd imagine Dillon doesn't want her back and she can't accept that. Look, stop looking for ways to sabotage this. Dillon wants you, you're together again and you're going to have a baby, just roll with it. I mean if Michael had have been Jason's I would have loved to have had him act the way Dillon is."

I took a long, deep breath. "Okay, I'm going to stop worrying about this."

"Good, now we have to go."

I smiled and grabbed my jacket, before grabbing Morgan's and helping him into it.

XXXXX

We arrived at the hotel and met Lucky and Elizabeth in the lobby. "Hi guys," Lucky greeted us, before folding me into a hug. "I can't believe my little sister is having her first child before me."

"At least Nik beat me to it," I laughed. Lucky laughed, before greeting Carly. The four of us made our way towards the elevator.

"So who else is coming?" I questioned.

"Not too many more…" Elizabeth responded.

The elevator doors slid open and Dillon was standing on the other side, blocking my view of the rest of the room. As soon as he moved out of the way I realized not too many more meant everyone Dillon and I could possibly be related to, except of course for my parents, Nikolas, Emily and Ned.

The Quartermaines were bickering further across the room. I thought the large number of people would bother me but instead I realized how much love our child was going to receive and that made me smile.

"We wanted to make sure the whole family was here," Elizabeth explained.

"Since the Quartermaines are technically family…" Carly started.

The elevator opened a few minutes later and Ned stepped out. "I'm not late am I?" he asked.

"Not at all," I said before throwing my arms around one of the only other sane Quartermaines.

We all sat down. "Well when do we get to know what you're having?" Elizabeth asked.

I smiled. "Go ahead Dillon, you said you wanted to shout it from the rooftops."

Everyone turned their attention to Dillon. "Well son?" Edward said, as the smile grew on his aging face.

"We are having a baby girl," Dillon said.

As Dillon said this I was reminded of Tracy telling me about her abortion and always wondering if her child had been a baby girl. I turned my gaze to hers and she winked at me. For the first time in my entire life I felt a real bond with Tracy Quartermaine.

"Champagne for everyone," Edward announced.

"Congratulations little brother," Ned said. Dillon just grinned.

"I can't believe I'm going to have a niece," Lucky exclaimed.

"Congratulations little cousin," Lucas said.

My aunt Bobbie started crying and pulled me into a hug. I had never felt more loved by my entire family. There were so many people talking that I lost track of who said what. The only thing I knew was that for the first time in a very long time I felt content with my life. Even knowing there were empty seats at the dinner didn't bother me anymore. Of course I wanted my parents present and my oldest brother, but at least I wasn't alone.

The dinner went by way too quickly. Afterwards Dillon pulled me aside. "I went to see Spinelli. He said the phone number that keeps showing up is an old cell phone registered to Monica."

"Do you think Monica was continuing her affair with Rick Webber?" I whispered.

"It's hard to say Lu. I just wanted to tell you."

"I don't want to even think about that tonight. Maybe tomorrow afternoon?"

"I understand. Do you want a ride home?" he asked gently.

"I might as well get one with Carly," I explained.

"I'll see you tomorrow," he whispered.

"I look forward to it," I said with a smile.

Dillon waved to me and then I turned around to find Carly. She was getting her boys ready. I went over to help her.

XXXXX

The next morning I opened my eyes and found myself smiling. It was the first time I ever woke knowing I could call Dillon mine without an enormous lie between us. I went down to breakfast and found a cheerful Carly getting her boys ready for school.

"Morning," I greeted them.

"Morning," they all replied.

The morning sped by quickly and in the early afternoon Carly came bursting into my office with her arms flailing excitedly. "They found a clue to Spencer's whereabouts," she exclaimed.

"Who? Where? What?" I said incoherently.

"Nikolas and Emily almost found Colleen. She got away but they at least found out where she was staying."

"That's so exciting," I said, as my eyes filled with tears of relief.

"Hopefully they'll be home soon," she said.

After Carly went back to work I called Dillon to tell him the news. He was ecstatic. He offered dinner to celebrate and I couldn't turn him down. It finally felt like a weight had been taken off my shoulders; that maybe life didn't always have to end in disaster.


End file.
